A Tangled Web of Teenage Angst
by dont-give-me-a-pen
Summary: The story of six teenagers in their final year of Hogwarts...Lily, James, Sirius, Kim, Remus and Ebony. Love and hate and all the good stuff. COMPLETE
1. Fights

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, all compliments of JKR. I have great respect for the books but I wanted to make this story as original as possible so you may no like it, but that's your problem. Thanks to shel for getting me hooked on this. I've written the first 5 chapters and there's plenty more to come so please read and tell me what I'm doing wrong.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Fights  
  
"I can't believe you're letting her go back." Andrew growled to his wife. "You've seen what that damn school has done to her, with her cauldrons and owls and what not. She's a witch Linda" he softened his voice so that Lily had to press her ear up against the wall to hear his next words. "She's a witch and she's out of control. She's not listening to me anymore. She's a witch and she's a rebel."  
  
"Andrew, you don't get it do you?" Linda had never put up with her husbands stubborn attitude and wasn't going to start now. But it was one of his charms and she loved him for it. "She's rebelling because she's a teenage girl, not because she's a witch."  
  
"That's crap Linda, you know it is." Lily could tell her father was running out of things to say but Lily knew that in no time he would have thought of another little thing wrong with her, another log on the fire burning strong in the small white suburban house that from the outside looked so peaceful, so strong, so fake.  
  
"I know no such thing." Linda snapped back, raising the volume again.  
  
"We never had this problem with Lavender or Petunia. They never acted out this badly."  
  
"Yes, but Lily is different- that I know for sure. She's bright, independent. She is oppinionated, strong, stubborn. She believes in what she believes. You can't change that. You can't keep her from her own beliefs and opinions."  
  
"Well it's just not right. She shouldn't act like that. You can't make excuses for h-"  
  
"Andrew, she's growing up. And every day she becomes more-"  
  
"Idiotic, rash, rude-"  
  
"More." Linda lowered her voice again. "Everyday, I see her become more like you." Linda knew at these words that she had won. She new she would get her way and she new that Andrew would agree. "I married you, not in spite of, but partly because of your brains, your independence.stubbornness. I see her grow every day and every day I see in her what I see in you."  
  
"She's not really that much like me is she?" Lily knew this was her father's last attempt of avoidance.  
  
"Andrew, she's going back to Hogwarts, and she's staying there. End of story."  
  
Silence fell in the next room. Lily stood up, completely speechless and confused. She never new she caused so many problems with her parents. She looked at her sisters. Lavender was sitting at the desk, back to Lily, pretending she hadn't heard the commotion in the next room. Petunia was sitting on her bed, staring at Lily with angry eyes.  
  
"How could you do that to dad? He works so hard to get us an education, even if it's at a rinky-dink school like yours." She shook head in disgust.  
  
"Shut up tuna-breath. You have no idea what it's like for me. And a lot of people find that hard to accept." By a lot of people she meant Petunia and Andrew. "But I put up with it, I work hard and I'm gonna make a career out of magic. And I'm gonna be 10 times the person you'll ever be."  
  
"Stop it Lil. Stop acting so superior. You're no perfect so don't pretend like you are." "Whatever." Lily rolled her eyes and slumped onto the bed, opening her new copy of advanced Transfiguration. She wasn't really interested in reading it but the pictures made Petunia nervous.  
  
"And you're kidding yourself if you think you'll make anything out of your silly magic tricks. Back me up on this Lav."  
  
Lily and Petunia both turned to their sister Lavender. "Oh no you don't. you guys aren't involving me, it's between the two of you. I'm not taking sides. I have to share this room with you for three more days and I'm not making them worse than they should be." She turned back to her pile of Uni work and sighed, "Kids"  
  
Lily rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm going to sleep." She pushed her books onto the floor and rolled over. Sleep was her way of avoiding things she didn't want to face. So she lay in her bed, feeling as though she was all alone in the world, the only comfort, her mother's words, echoing in her mind. "She's going back to Hogwarts," Lily had got her way.  
  
She was going back to Hogwarts.  
  
End of story.  
  
*(A/N that isn't really the end of the story, don't be disappointed, read the next chapter.)* 


	2. Journey on the Hogwarts Express

I don't own any characters. I use creations like Hogwarts and the Hogwarts express thanks to the brilliant writing of JKR.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
The journey on the Hogwarts express  
  
Lily was glad to get back to school, to be with her friends. To be with people that didn't flinch any time she looked them in the eye or made any sudden movements. She was free to be herself again.  
  
The train ride on the Hogwarts express was eventful- as usual. She shared the prefect's compartment with the Ravenclaw prefects Josie Duderanch and Billy Martin and of cause her fellow Gryffindor prefect, Remus Lupin. Who of cause invited his friends to join them. Which of cause meant Lily had to share the train ride with troublemakers Sirius Black and James Potter, and their weird little friend who they called Wormtail.  
  
Lily usually would have given anything to make them go away but after the summer she had, she didn't mind- perhaps even enjoyed- the company of these two stupid, but still funny and interesting guys.  
  
So they talked and laughed as the train took them out of London and into the country. They started to play eye spy but after cow, sheep, grass and fence, they ran out of things to spy. Consequently they started to talk about their summer holiday's. Lily felt disheartened when she heard the others stories. James and Sirius had gone to Portugal to compete in a Quidditch tournament and won, then caused havoc and ran amok and acted childish, at least that's what Lily made of it. Billy had gone to Australia and hooked up with three girls (Lily wasn't sure if he was telling the truth but thought it was likely, considering his looks and smooth personality). Josie had visited relatives in America and Wormtail had gone camping with his brothers. When everyone had finished telling their exciting tales, they turned to Lily.  
  
"So what about you Lil, you look pretty relaxed. Have fun or what?" Sirius said, sitting back and putting his arm around Josie, who looked like all her dreams had come true all at once.  
  
Lily paused, watching the expectant faces. She could make something up, but she really couldn't be bothered. She let it all come rushing out. "fun? After my summer I think I've forgotten the meaning of the damn word. I spent three months listening to nothing but my sister bitching and my parents fighting. I was so frickin' close to suicide it was crazy. No I didn't have fun, I had the worst fucking summer ever." She took a deep breath and calmed down. "Hey, talking about your problems does make you feel better. I'm less stressed now."  
  
Everyone in the carriage was silent for what seemed like the longest minute in long minute history. Finally James broke the silence. "Well at least Mooney had a worst summer than you. Summer's ten times hotter when you're covered in fur."  
  
Remus elbowed him in the ribs. "What the fuck, man?"  
  
James looked at Sirius who nodded at Billy and Josie.  
  
James was good at bullshitting when it came to being late for class or caught making out in the storage room. ("We were looking for a mop and a spider crawled down her top, I was just being a gentleman and getting it out for her. You should really get an exterminator, or something.") But James skills had failed him and he just sat there with a stupid fake smile on his face.  
  
"You're so lame Potter," Lily said, mind working fast. "He's not really hairy, he's just gone through puberty, something which you haven't experienced yet."  
  
"Fuck off Evans. You know I was talking-" Sirius kicked him in the shins. "About nothing. I think I hit my head before and my mind is ummm. broken or something."  
  
Confusion filled the faces of Josie, Billy and (for some reason) Wormtail, but Remus was saved when the Doris opened the doors and said "Anything off the trolley, dears?"  
  
Ten Sickles and four Knuts later, the conversation was long forgotten and the group went back to talking and laughing. Except for James, who seemed to be in his own world. Not because of his previous comments, but because of Lily's. He had remembered then just why he had such a crush on the muggle-born.  
  
(A/N we haven't seen much action yet and I doubt that you will. This isn't an action kind of story but would be a hell of a lot better if it was.) 


	3. Back to Hogwarts

I'm only up to chapter three and I've run out of ideas. I need to think. Ps lily spends a lot of time confused because I created her personality to be like mine lol. Oh I don't own characters, blah blah. I know I don't and you must be stupid if you think I could come up with all this stuff.  
  
*writing* is what the character is thinking  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Lily's woes  
  
Lily and Remus were in a chamber off the Great Hall, waiting for Professor Dumbledore and the other Gryffindor prefects. Remus was sitting on the couch, staring at the floor while Lily walked around the room, looking at the portraits and stopping to talk to a portrait of a wizard with a walrus moustache. "Hi Golados, how are you?"  
  
"I'm alright young Lily, thank-you very much for-" he was interrupted by the sudden speech of the recently silent Remus.  
  
"How did you know? Did James or Sirius tell you? Or was it Snape?" Remus was looking up, but avoiding eye contact.  
  
"Sorry?" Lily had never known Remus to be so straightforward and abrupt.  
  
"How do you know? On the train you seemed to know. that I am. well you know. Don't you?"  
  
"That you're a." Lily cast her eyes towards the door and lowered her voice. "Werewolf?" Remus nodded.  
  
"Well it's obvious, isn't it. I don't have shit for brains. I used to just think you disappeared for days at a time, then I noticed a pattern."  
  
"The full moon." He looked straight into her eyes now. "I was stupid to think on one would realise."  
  
"Well, not really. Most people at this school are pretty naïve. I'm not as simple minded." She sat down on the couch next to him. "Don't worry," she whispered. "I won't tell anyone"  
  
The door burst open and Professor Dumbledore rushed in followed by the other prefects. "Alright, lets get started. Sorry we took so long. I had to deal with." He looked at Remus and laughed heartily. "Well you know who. You're friends are quite the mischief makers."  
  
Dumbledore looked around the room. "Are we all here? Great. Samuel, Rebecca, congratulations on making prefects. This is Lily, Remus, Joanne and Anthony. Of cause you probably know that already, but if you ever has any questions, problems, they are the people to ask." He took a quick breath. "The password for the Gryffindor common room is le palmier, for remembrance of your summer holiday. Remember to show the first years the way, we don't want them wondering around the castle, never know what they'll run into."  
  
Lily's eyes went blurry as she started to tune out. The train ride had been long and tiring, she wanted nothing more that to skip dinner and go straight to bed. But she had to force herself to stay awake for another couple of hours, or at least until the sorting had finished. She had a vision of James Potter coming into the room, picking her up in his strong arms and carrying her to her dorm where he would lay her down on her bed and gently stroke her hair until she eventually drifted off to sleep.  
  
She snapped back into reality when Remus gently nudged her.  
  
"You still with us Miss Evans?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
"I am now, Professor."  
  
"Good, we can go then." Lily yawned and followed the other prefects into the Great Hall, where the first years were filing in, looking up at the enchanted ceiling with amazement and all looking nervous and excited at the same time.  
  
Lily remembered her first day at Hogwarts, she remembered being followed around by James Potter and Sirius Black who had already become friends and started in their mischievous ways. "Stop following me, losers."  
  
"I will if you go out with me Evans."  
  
"Why would I want to go out with a scrawny nerd like you, Potter?"  
  
"Nerd? No one's ever called me a nerd before. I think you're seriously mistaken, you see, I'm not a nerd. I'm not scrawny and I'm not a loser. And a goody-goody muggle-born isn't gonna tell me any different." He ran his hand through his already messy hair and smiled a killer smile. "But I will leave you alone."  
  
He turned and left, bag swinging on his shoulder.  
  
She hated him. He was so annoying, so conceited, such a show-off.  
  
So why was she thinking about him? Why did she think about him now differently than she thought about him three months earlier?  
  
*No, I'm tired, I'm stressed. It was just my mind, confused. I don't like him. I can't. Can I?*  
  
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A/N I know I said that the truth comes out and their whole world comes crashing down, but I haven't figured out how yet, so you're just gonna have to wait.  
  
Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, keep them coming. Special thanks to  
  
STARGIRL  
  
STARLET13  
  
FLOGGIN MOLLY 


	4. Confusion and Delusion

Disclaimer: I wish I was smart enough to come up with half the stuff JKR comes up with but I'm boring and unoriginal so I'm borrowing her themes and characters and turning them into horrible and boring people. Sorry about my pov of James, I don't know how he thinks and never will.  
  
*writing* is what the character is thinking  
  
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Chapter 4  
  
Confusion and delusion  
  
Lily had fallen asleep as soon as her head had touched the pillow. She had lasted through the sorting and the banquet and the long boring dronings of the headmaster, Professor Dippit who was old and boring. Most students couldn't wait until his retirement. There was a rumour that once he had been kind and wise in the eyes of the students, but then something happened and he changed. He had been greatly disappointed, no one new why, but now he didn't have as much respect as he deserved.  
  
The next day, James Potter woke up early, ready for a new day of fun. There were girls to impress, first years to scare, teachers to annoy. He couldn't wait. He made his way down to the Great Hall, which was almost deserted. He looked around, searching for someone he knew.  
  
Slytherin first years, no.  
  
Ravenclaw Quidditch captain, no way.  
  
Pretty third year, hmmm.  
  
Who else could he harass or show off to. Or both. Who?  
  
*Aaaah perfect.*  
  
"Hey Evans," there she was, thick red hair shining in the enchanted morning sunlight. "What do you want Potter?"  
  
*Hmmmm. what do I want?*  
  
He didn't know.  
  
"Ah, just wanted so say." To buy some time he swung one leg over the long bench and sat, facing Lily so he could look into her green eyes and almost see her soul. "Thanks for yesterday."  
  
"What did I do yesterday?"  
  
"You saved Mooney's ass. I would've been in deep shit if you hadn't said anything. So thanks. You're a real friend."  
  
"Yeah, too bad you aren't." Lily didn't need to hear James be nice to her, her feelings about him were confusing enough already. "You really could have got him in trouble, but you don't think before you open that fat mouth of yours, do you?"  
  
"Look, I know you think I'm a dickhead, but everyone makes mistakes. We're not all perfect like you, Evans. Mooney's my mate. I'd never let anything happen to him, but you're right, sometimes I need to think before I talk."  
  
"Stop acting like you give a shit about everyone else. I know how you treat people like they aren't important, like you're superior."  
  
"Like who?"  
  
"Snape."  
  
"Fuck, that evil bastard?" James laughed. "He deserves it."  
  
"And you have to be the one to make him pay, right?"  
  
"Well who else has the balls to?"  
  
"That's all life is to you, balls? Well, what about Peter?"  
  
"Who the fuck is Peter?"  
  
"Peter Pettigrew, your friend. You just proved that you're an asswipe."  
  
"Fucking Wormtail. Little bitch loves me, that's all he wants."  
  
"I can't believe how immature you are. I never liked you but at least I used to think you had some shread of decency. You just proved me wrong."  
  
*She never liked me. I know that but why does it hurt so much to hear?*  
  
"Fuck you Evans. Look, I don't know if you can take back a thank-you but if you can then that's what I'm doing, yeah." James stood up and walked away, not entirely impressed with his final comment, but at least he wasn't completely hammered. He had to hand it to her though, she was tough. She was strong and smart. She was made for him.  
  
*She's perfect for me. Why won't she give in. Forget her, look there's Janet Brown, she's wanted you for ages dude. Now's your chance.*  
  
But James did something he'd never done before, and thought he would never do. He ignored her and went back up to his room, feeling as though his day couldn't get any worse.  
  
Lily sat at the Gryffindor table, completely confused.  
  
*Why was he so nice to me, and why did he care when I wasn't nice back. Why did he care at all. He's never given a fuck about anything. That's what I like about him. Like? Why did I say that. I don't like him. I hate him. Don't I?*  
  
"Hey Lil." It was Wendy Rosehorn, Lil's potions partner, "Glad I found you. Remus is looking for you and I have to tell you about Gladis."  
  
"Gladis Thumstump?"  
  
"Yeah, she's pregnant."  
  
"Gladis? Prenant? With who? And how do you know?"  
  
"I saw her in the toilets, crying. I asked her what was wrong and she told me." "So why are you telling me? Isn't it a bit personal?"  
  
"Hell yeah, that's why I'm telling everyone. I hate that bitch."  
  
"Wendy, you can't do that. She trusted you and you betrayed her. I'm not sure I wanna be friends with someone that would do that."  
  
*What the fuck did I say that for? She's gonna be pissed off at me now, I really couldn't be bothered with that now. I have enough problems.*  
  
Wendy started to cry. Lily new it was fake but felt bad anyway. "I thought you were different, Lil. You're not. You're a stupid stuck-up cow."  
  
Lily just stood there, stunned. Not knowing why she said what she said. Wendy wasn't any different that normal. Lily always put up with her and her gossip. Why was today different? Why was today turning out to be such a drag? Why was it that she might of just lost a friend, but she was still thinking about James Potter?  
  
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A/N sorry about the excessive swearing but I was in a bad mood and I'd just watched the real cancun and my head was filled with fucks. It seemed to fit well so I kept it. More swearing and some sex scenes (hopefully) to come so beware. 


	5. Reminiscence of a Girl

Chapter 5 

**Reminiscence of a girl.**

When Remus finally caught up with Lily she was still standing in the middle of the Great Hall, after her fight with Wendy.

"Lily there you are. We have to hand out the timetables to the fifth, sixth and seventh years. Here, you take this half and I'll do these." He held out a pile of timetables. She didn't take them. "Aaahh…okay, take these ones then." He held out the slightly larger pile. Lily still didn't take them. He cleared his throat loudly.

She looked up. "Oh, hi Remus, I heard you were looking for me. What's up?"

"Did you here anything I just said?"

"No, you said something?"

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, just…" She had to tell him something. If she didn't he would think she was a nut job, and he might tell James.

_What do I care if Potter thinks I'm crazy? He probably thinks that already._

"I'm sorry Remus, I just had a fight with Wendy." She sighed.

"Oh…well I'll hand these out by myself." Lily could tell that he had no idea what to say- he was a guy. 

"No, I'll help. Here," she grabbed a pile and hurried off; trying to forget the two fights she had already had this morning.

After giving out all of the timetables, she didn't have James'- thank God, she went up to her dorm to get her potions things. She felt a little better when she walked past Wendy and Sirius making out in the common room. Not only did she know Wendy was already over their fight, but she also knew that Sirius would break Wendy's heart. On her way to the potions dungeon, she ran into peeves- or more accurately, peeves flew into her.

"Fuck off peeves. I'm not in the mood." She snapped at Peeves, who was now enjoying making fart noises and pretending he could smell them.

"Not in the mood for what?" He said with a giggle, in between farts.

"You" Lily pulled out her wand, "Silidirillio"

Peeves went flying up through the roof and Lily was left with nothing but the echo of his scream. She walked on until she got to the cold and slimy potions dungeon where she was met by Professor Soggybred. "Lily, here early on the first day. I hope the other sixth years do the same." It wasn't likely, but Lily admired her confidence all the same.

"So are we still doing potions with Slytherin?" Lily asked as her friend Casey entered the dungeon and sat next to her.

"Yes." Replied the Professor, ignoring the groans from both Lily and Casey.

James and Sirius could whip Snape any day- when they can play dirty and use their extra-curricular talent. But Snape had a knack for potions. He could have aced sixth year potions before he even came to Hogwarts. He beat both Lily and Remus with his O+ OWL in potions, although his first love was Defence Against the Dark Arts. Lily thought that he was probably better at dishing out the evil than defending himself from it. He couldn't even defend himself from two schoolyard bullies. Lily thought back to the day last year. The last time James and Sirius had dished out their own brand of evil.

~~~~flashback~~~~

Just for fun, James was using magic to hurt and embarrass Snape. Lily had stupidly tried to stop him but her achievements were only mild. 

"Leave him ALONE" She cried, standing up and making her way towards them. 

"All right, Evans?" James was running his hand through his hair, talking like he hadn't noticed the suffering, slimy Snape, lying on the ground, spitting soap from his mouth.

"Leave him alone." She repeated, more calm this time, but still with a great dislike in her voice, and her glare. "What's he done to you?"

"Well, it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean." The surrounding people laughed, which made Lily even angrier. People idolised James- for some reason- and he just corrupted their minds by getting away with things and being cruel to people he didn't like, whether he had a reason not to or if he just hated them for the fun of it.

"You think you're funny but you're not. You're just a arrogant, bullying asshole, Potter. Leave him alone."

"I will if you go out with me Evans. Go on… go out with me and I'll never lay another wand on old Snivelly again."

_Hell no, I care but not that much. _

"I wouldn't go out with you if I had a choice between you and the giant squid."

"Bad luck Prongs. OI." Sirius had noticed Snape reaching for his wand, but was too late to stop him. A bright light flashed out  of Snape's wand and a cut appeared on the side of James' face, who raised his wand and sent Snape flying into the air. He flipped him upside down so that his robes fell over his head showing his yellowing underwear. More cheering and laughter followed this.

Of cause Lily found this quite amusing, but couldn't let James know this. She held back a smile. "Let him down." 

"Certainly," James let Snape fall in a crumpled heap, but he quickly stood up again.

"Petrificus Totalus," Sirius said, almost casually, he was way too laid back, Lily thought.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE."  She pulled out her wand, just to keep Sirius and James on their toes. She didn't care about Snape enough to hex the guys picking on him.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you."

_Ha! I'd like to see you try mister._

"Then take the curse off him." To Lily's surprise, James turned around and muttered the counter curse.

"You're lucky Evans was here Snivellus."

"I don't need help from a filthy little mudblood like her." It wasn't the name calling but the attitude that hurt Lily.

"Fine. I won't bother in future. And I would wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."

_I know why James and Sirius do it now, teasing Snape is fun._

"Apologise to Evans." James yelled, a fierce glint in his eyes.

_Wow, is he doing that for me or is it just another excuse to hurt Snape?_

"I don't want you to make him apologise, you're as bad as he is."

"What? I'd never call you a… you-know-what."

Hey what do you know, he has some decency after all. But he's still an idiot. 

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you, just because you can. I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me want to fucking gag, Potter. So just shut the fuck up." 

Lily marched off back towards the castle, not really sure where she was heading. She heard James yell after her, but she kept walking. Wishing he would disappear, but knowing he wouldn't.

~~~~end flashback (And chapter)~~~~


	6. Obsession

I thought it was about time I wrote a chapter about James. I'm pretty impressed, it only took me about 30 minutes to write and I started a new story line. 

I'm sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up but my damn computer wont let me upload sometimes. Hopefully it will work this time. 

**I've written up to chapter 14 so hopefully I'll be getting the next few up quickly…if I can.**

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Chapter 6 **Obsession******

Potions wasn't as bad as Lily had thought it would be. There were no murders, no attacks. In fact James ignored Snape for the whole lesson, which was quite an achievement. He was doing it for Lily. She didn't know that, but he was. He remembered the way she'd acted last year, when she'd tried to stop him from hurting Snape and decided only to torture him when Lily wouldn't find out. He didn't want her to be angry with him again. She was too beautiful to have that angry look on her face, the look she had every time she looked at him and Sirius doing something wrong.

James sat in the secret passageway behind the fifth floor bathroom mirror. He liked it there. It was cool and empty and clean. Not like the other stuffy, dusty passageways that he and his friends often used. He had with him his wand and the marauders map. He had been watching the map for some time, watching a miniscule dot. A miniscule dot with the name Lilian Evans next to it in miniscule writing. She had been in the library most of the night, most probably starting the assignment they had they had been given is transfiguration. He thought vaguely about getting an early start on it too, but kept watching the Lily dot occasionally move around the library but mostly she stayed still, just like him. He was ten, maybe fifteen meters away from her. But she didn't know it. James stood up and leant against the wall that separated the two of them, getting as close as he could get to the girl that he couldn't get out of his mind.

Why do I keep thinking about her? Why won't she leave me alone? I can have any one I want, so why do I want her so badly? Why have I sat here sat here for so long? Am I obsessed? Is this real?

It had been almost two weeks since they had last spoken, in the Great Hall, but James hadn't forgotten a single word.

"I never liked you, but I used to think you had some shred of decency. You proved me wrong."

He could still hear the disappointment in her voice. He desperately wanted to prove that he was a kind, decent guy but didn't know how. Instead, he sat in his dark hole watching her every move, knowing where she was. Knowing he was all alone.

He watched her get up and go to her dorm, where most of the other girls were already asleep. He knew she was safe, he didn't have to watch her any more, but he wanted to. Instead he searched the map to see where everyone else was. Padfoot was in the common room, almost on top of a dot marked Penny Fishguts. James shook his head and sighed.

That's what I should be doing. What I would be doing if I wasn't here.

Mooney wasn't in the map. It was a wolf night, so he would be in the screaming shack, waiting for James and Sirius to join him. Wormtail was in the kitchens, doing what rats do best. Professor Dumbledore was in Professor Dippit's office. Filch was in the Entrance Hall, closely followed by Mrs Norris, his evil cat (or at least the students thought it was evil).

Then, just as he was about to pack it up and leave, another dot caught his eye. A tiny dot marked Severus Snape. He was roaming the grounds, heading towards the Quidditch Pitch. James tapped the map with his wand.

"Mischief managed." He muttered and the writing disappeared. He opened the mirror and leapt out. He ran up to the Gryffindor Tower where he found Sirius and Penny getting to know each other's tongues.

"Oi, love birds break it up."

"Fuck off Prongs, I'm busy."

"Yeah? Well you're about to get a whole lot busier. I saw Snivelshit snooping around the Quidditch Pitch, and if I'm right- and I usually am- he was walking right towards the Whomping Willow?"

Sirius pushed Penny off him and walked to James. He snatched the now blank paper off him and pulled out his wand.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." He studied the map for a moment. "Bastards almost there. What do you want to do?"

But James had already started up the stairs, no doubt on the way to get his invisibility cloak.

Penny whined. "Sirius baby, you can't just leave me here."

Sirius looked at her pouting lips and flinched. What had he seen in her? "Ahh, Penny, babe, you've been great. But I… I think we should se other people."

"What? We've barely seen each other."

"I know, but we're just too different for this to work out."

Penny tried to reply but it was too late, James had already pulled his friend out of the portrait hole, leaving her alone and confused, like so many of Sirius's ex's. 

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**A/N so what did you think? Be kind- review.**


	7. Untitled Chapter

**A/N so what did you think? Be kind- review. **

**Disclaimer I don't and never will own any of the Harry Potter themes or characters. They are completely the work of JKR.**

**Chapter 7**

**Unnamed chapter of a creatively retarded author**

James and Sirius slipped out of the huge entrance doors and ran behind a tree.

"That was close," Sirius puffed, pulling off the invisibility cloak. "I swear that cat can see us in this thing."

"What now?" James usually gave the orders, but there were a million ideas swimming in his head.

"Ah, you get Hagrid, and I'll get Snape." He didn't stop for confirmation, he just ran as fast as he could towards the Whomping Willow, as James ran in the other direction. 

As he ran, he turned into a stag, so he could gallop, not as fast as Padfoot as a dog could, but pretty damn fast. Hagrid's cottage was on the edge of the forbidden forest. A place that was not so forbidden to the likes of Harry, Sirius and Hagrid. 

James and Sirius wouldn't say they were friends with Hagrid, they didn't really talk to him, barely even knew him. But he was damn good in an emergency, and they trusted him. 

"Hagrid," James had returned to human form and was hammering on the giant door. "Hagrid, come on."

A moment later, the giant figure of Hagrid emerged and his boarhound puppy, Fang, at his heels. Hagrid was only about ten years older than James, but was almost twice as tall. Rumoured to have been expelled in his early years, Hagrid worked as games keeper and knew the ground of Hogwarts like the back of his giant, hairy hand.

They immediately started running, James leading the way- but still struggling to keep pace with Hagrid. "Wos goin' on, Po'er?" Hagrid grunted in his usual oafish voice.

"Snapes hanging aroung the Whomping Willow."

Hagrid looked up, "Full moon."

"Exactly."

When, they finally reached the Whomping Willow, all was quiet, the tree itself was thrashing around, causing bats and small animals from all around too scatter.

Hagrid and James stood panting, looking for any sight of Snape or Sirius. Just as James opened his mouth to speak, a huge back dog leapt out from behind a tree, pounding him into the floor. With a painful grunt, he tried to get up again. As he did, he saw the guilty face of Sirius looking down at him.

"Sorry dude, thought you were him."

"Fuck that hurts. You bastard." He got to his feet. "Were is he?"

"Haven't seen him."

James reached into his pocket and pulled out the marauders map. He searched it for several minutes, eyes squinted behind his glasses. "There."

He took off around the thrashing branches of the tree, wand at the ready. As he got closer to the spot on the map, he slowed down. Behind him, Sirius and Hagrid looked around.

_*Where is the son of a bitch*_

The three guys jumped, when they heard a deep groan coming from behind a nearby shrub. It sounded like a dying animal- it was.

"Snivellus, what the fuck are you doing?" Sirius gave him a swift kick in the gut.

He just groaned even louder. 

"He's covered in blood and bruises. My guess in he tried to get past the branches, idiot." James gave him another kick, this time in the balls.

"Stupi' gi' couda go' 'imself ki'ed." Hagrid refrained from kicking him but instead bent down to see if he was all right. For a guy that big, he was pretty compassionate.

"Hagrid," James said, still panting slightly from his long run. "Can you make sure he gets back to the castle?"

"O' cause I can."

"And Hagrid," Sirius added, "Not a word about who helped you find him"

Hagrid gave a meaningful nod, hoisted the simpering Snape over his shoulder and set off along the grounds, towards the castle.

When he was sure they were safe, James pulled a small rat out of the folds of the invisibility cloak. Wormtail was a stupid little thing, but he always managed to find his friends when they needed him the most.

"Take us to him." James whispered and set the rat on the grass. It took off straight away, running through the maze of branches, to a small knot on the trunk of the tree.


	8. Daydream

**Disclaimer- I swear by my life that I am sick of writing this and its obvious I own nothing- well I do own the books but I promise that is all.**

Chapter 8 

**Daydream **

The next day, Sirius and James sat in History of Magic, but instead of their usual behaviour (calling out rude comments and spitting paper at the ghost of Professor Binns) they sat, staring out the window, wondering what Snape knew. 

Lily sat in the back corner and instead her usual behaviour (last periods homework and occasional note taking), she sat, staring at the empty desks of Snape, wondering what could have happened to make him miss class. Her eyes also slid to the empty desk of Remus and the empty faces of Sirius and James. She knew they were somehow involved, but how? If they had hurt Snape, they wouldn't be staring blankly into space, they would be celebrating and congratulating each other on a job well done.

But it was late, the last period of the day, and Lily's mind wasn't in the mood for thinking. It wanted to dream. So once again, she slipped out of reality and into the world of James Potter.

He was on the other side of the classroom, behind his glasses, his deep dark eyes were staring into Lily's. She stared back, an unfightable urge forcing her to. The bell went, but they did not move. They were alone now; just the two of them, the world fell away. There was nothing more important than keeping eye contact. Lily kept staring at those handsome brown eyes that were getting closer and closer until they stopped in front of her face. She reached out and took off his glasses. He stroked her cheek lightly with the tips of his fingers. She closed her eyes, knowing it was wrong, but wanting it all the same. He licked his lips, trying to withhold his passion. He wanted nothing more than to take her there and then. Instead, he slipped his hands around her waist, drawing her closer with his strong, but gentle arms. She opened her eyes again; wanting to see his beautiful eyes once more before…

Ding ding ding.

The real bell went, forcing Lily back into reality. She shook her head and looked around. Most of the class were already rushing out of the classroom. James, however, remained seated, watching as Professor Binns floated out through the blackboard, leaving nothing but a puff of chalk dust in his wake. They were alone now, just like in Lily's thoughts. But she wasn't staring into his eyes, in fact, she was avoiding his gaze altogether, not sure what he wanted from her.

James reached up to run his hand through his hair, but remembered that she didn't like that and put it back down again. He grabbed his books and made his way to her table. Lily packed up the last of her things and stood up, not sure whether to give him acknowledgment or to ignore him and leave. Before she had the chance to make up her mind, he spoke. Not in his usual cruel, mocking voice, but in a kind, mature voice. A voice that Lily had only heard when he was talking to her.

"You looked like you were falling asleep there."

"Yeah, almost did." Lily admitted as she stopped walking and turned around to look at James. "You looked like you were having a hard time keeping your eyes open too."

_*Your big, brown, beautiful eyes*_

"I was awake enough to notice that you looked like you were dreaming. You looked happy."

"Happy, yeah. I was dreaming of falling asleep"

_*With you*_

James noticed a suspicious look creeping onto Lily's face and went straight to the back-up plan. "Well, anyway. I wanted to ask you something, that's why I'm here."

"Ask away, but if you ask me to go out with you, I'm afraid I'm going to have to slap you."

*Oh, please ask me out, I won't slap- unless you like that kind of thing. My God! What is wrong with me?*

"Oh, It's no big deal. It's just you already know about Mooney, so I figured it's all right to ask you. Um, we usually take notes for him, while he's…er…away. But if you didn't notice, Sirius and I kind of forgot to show up to Charms today. Mooney kind of likes to catch up on the stuff he's missed, so I thought maybe you could lend him your work?"

Lily smiled at the nervous James and shrugged her shoulders. "Why not? You had the initiative to ask so I might as well help out a friend." Neither of them knew which friend she was helping out. She had called Remus a friend before, but was she doing this for James as well? That daydream and they polite manner in which he had talked to her had left her with a tingly feeling. So as she pulled out a neatly covered workbook and handed it to James, she added.

"You know, sometimes you can be a really nice guy. It's normally when no one else is around, but it's good to know you're capable of it."

With that, she turned and left the classroom, long red hair swaying slightly as she turned the corner.

_*You know, she really is perfect. What would she ever see in me?*_

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A/N so did you all like? I wanted Lily's thoughts to be a little more 'intimate', but I wasn't sure if she would think such thoughts in the middle of class. I'm not sure if James actually has glasses and I couldn't be bothered to check up on it, but it worked so I stayed with it.


	9. Passion

Hey guys, I know you've all been waiting for this chapter, but beware, it is not suitable for younger readers… enjoy Chapter 9 Passion 

Lily walked softly, not wanting to make any obvious noise. She knew where he was, for some reason. He should have been in bed, or out on some daredevil adventure with his mates, but he wasn't. He was there, in the common room, waiting for her. He was sitting on the couch, wearing his school uniform still. Lily remembered thinking that was strange, he hated that uniform, he would never be seen after school wearing such a thing. But there he was, robes and all, staring once again into the eyes of Lily Evans. The girl he had once mocked and teased. The girl he had thought was stuck-up, a loser, a goody-goody. Now he was obsessed with her.

She had the most perfect face, her skin, her lips. She was perfect in every single way. And now they were alone, in the middle of the night. Together at last. 

"What are you doing here?" Lily spoke the words gently so as no to sound accusing, merely concerned.

"I'm waiting for you." When he spoke, James used the voice he had used earlier that day. They caring voice that Lily longed to hear more of. "I've waited for you every night. But you never came, until now."

"What do you mean?"

"I looked for you today. I knew where you were, but I looked. I looked everywhere, but where you were."

"James, are you all right?"

"You know I've love you since the first time I saw you? I love you and I always will."

"James, I…I didn't know. Why didn't you say something before now?"

"I did, except you were never there. I never admitted it, but I said it a million time in my head. I love you Lily Evans."

He had never said her name before. He had never said those words before, never. Not even to the girls he'd had sex with. Not to his mother, not to his friends. He was saving those words for her.

Lily took a few steps closer. "You know I guess, I always have been too- in love with you. But I never realised, never noticed, until I saw you down here. Waiting for me."

James came even closer, so they were about a meter away from each other. Both desperate to be closer, but not knowing how to feel, what to say. Finally, James reached out and took Lily's hands and held them in his own. He pulled them around his back and drew her close to him, so that they were now touching. He let go of her hands and gently stroked her face. She gave a slight shiver and brought her hands up to hold his strong shoulders in her tiny hands. He held her face in his hands and they into each other's eyes. James swallowed hard and a look of intense nervousness crossed his face.

"I dreamed about this moment for so long. And now you're here, I can't believe it's real."

"Is this real?"

She kissed him gently at first and then she pushed her tongue into his mouth and he kissed her back. She'd never made the first move before. But she liked it. She was in control. 

She pulled away. 

"Do you really love me?"

"Always."

She pulled him forward and they kissed passionately for several minutes. The room around them became blurry and they had only each other. But that was enough, as long as they were together, as long as they were together at last.

She pulled away again and loosened his tie, he lifted her chin so her eyes met his.

"Are you sure, I can wait."

That was enough for her, as long as she heard those words, she knew his intentions were real.

She finished taking off his tie and he took off his shirt. She undid his belt and fly and slid his pants down around his ankles. He kicked off his shoes and finished taking off his pants. He unbuttoned her pyjama top and slid it gently off her shoulders as she took of her pants. She was completely naked as she pulled off his boxer shorts (A/N revealing a grade A penis) and they kissed again. She let him take over. He began to kiss her neck softly. She closed her eyes and let his lips seduce her. It wasn't long before she was lying on the soft rug, looking up into the intense eyes of James Potter. He looked down at her, hair lying around her head like a halo. She had never looked so perfect.

They kissed some more. Lily rolled over so that she was on top and rubbed herself against James warm sweaty body. She felt the reaction that she was looking for and moved to welcome it. She could almost feel him inside her…

And then she woke up.

Darkness swum around her as she sat up in her bed. It was only a dream. A good dream, but still just another dream to confuse her even more. She panted heavily.

*It wasn't real, it was just my imagination. I don't love him. I don't even like him not really*

_*Then why do I feel so good?*_

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(A/N awwww. I can't believe I wrote that! Well that has got to be the best chapter I've written. And I came up with a potential ending or at least an idea for the next couple of chapters while writing that. Well how did you like my sex scene? Review me please. I'm not sure if I wrote it right. I wanted to make it romantic, sexy and fast all at the same time and I think that was the best I could do but I would like to hear your thoughts.)


	10. Lost Without You

Chapter 10 I'm lost without you 

**This chapter will be set out like a songfic. I am listening to this song now and I really think it works with this chapter.**

**The song is I'm lost without you by blink 182**

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_I swear that I can go on forever, again._

James knows he can live without Lily; there are plenty of other girls. Plenty of other opportunities. Why was he feeling different about this girl? Why was he letting her into his heart?

_Please let me know that my one bad day will end._

Lily can't stop thinking about last night. Her dreams usually drifted away once she was awake. But she could remember every moment. Every touch. Every moan. She couldn't think about anything else. But instead of making her feel good- like last night- she felt awful. How could she think those things about the boy she'd hated for all those years? Why was it so different this year? Was she losing her mind?

_I will go down as your lover- a friend._

James knew he could get her, if he tried hard enough. He could do anything. He could make her love him. But would it last? She would love him, but for how long? Would she leave him after one day? Two? Maybe it would be longer. But James knew that it wouldn't last forever if he made her love him. He couldn't have something that perfect and let it go again. He would much rather not have her at all than to have her and leave her. If it was going to work between them, she would have to love him by herself and James couldn't do that. He had to be patient. Even if he had to wait for the rest of his life, he would wait.

Give me your lips, and with one kiss we begin 

Lily knew in her heart that James loved her and if she told him how she felt, they could make it work. But how did she feel? She didn't know. By her dream last night, she knew she wanted him, and she definitely wanted to be with him, but could she ever love him? Could she ever walk down the Hogwarts corridors with her hand in his? Could she look into his eyes and not feel confused about their relationship? Could she ever feel for him the way he felt for her? Could this work or was it too impossible even for them?

_  
__Are you afraid of being alone  
Cause I am, I'm lost without you  
Are you afraid of leaving tonight  
Cause I am, I'm lost without you  
  
_

_  
__I'll leave my room open till sunrise for you_

James waited for Lily every night. He would sit in the common room, when everyone else had gone to bed, and he would sit in the same couch every night. Waiting for Lily to come. But she didn't. She didn't even know he was there. He would eventually drift off to sleep, dreaming of her lips, her smile. He would dream that she saw him. Saw him for who he really was. A man in love with a woman. But he was only a boy to her. A boy who she hated. But he couldn't control his dreams. He couldn't control his feelings. He was in love. And she wasn't.

I'll keep my eyes patiently focused on you 

When James wasn't looking, Lily was. She stared at him in classes, in the great hall, in the common room. She even snuck out to watch him during Quidditch practice. He looked so natural up there so free. Lily never used to go to his Quidditch games. She liked to use the quiet time to stay in the common room and study or read. Now, she found herself going to every game, every practice. Never taking her eyes off James. Watching as he soared up high, wind in his hair, winter sun on his face. She watched the intense concentration on his face as he searched for the Golden snitch. He would normally catch it, winning the game. Lily would watch him drift back down to the ground and jump off his broom, before it reached the ground. She smiled as the rest of the Gryffindors crowded around, cheering and singing. And he smiled. He smiled his beautiful smile and Lily would melt. Then she would slip away before he knew she was at the game.

  
_Where are you now? I can hear footsteps. I'm dreaming_

James sat on the couch again. It was the last day of term, his last chance until next term to wait for her. He was beginning to drift off to sleep, but he forced his eyes open, knowing it had to be tonight that she would come. Wanting desperately for it to be tonight. Where was she? It was so late, almost morning. Soon, everyone would be waking up, ready to have one last breakfast and leave for two weeks. James didn't want to wait that long to see Lily again. He wanted her to stay. He wanted to be with her, even if he wasn't with her.

  
_And if you will, keep me from waking to believe this_

Lily lay awake. It was early morning. She usually loved the last day of term. She loved staying at school and having the dorm to herself and having the time and space to catch up on her homework. This day was different. She hadn't slept well all night. She couldn't stop thinking about James. She knew she would miss him. She didn't want to- she wanted to forget him- but she was already missing him. She would have no one to stare at during dinner, no one to confuse her feelings. She hated that feeling, but she loved it at the same time. She loved it? She did. She loved that feeling. She loved the way her head spun whenever James looked her way. She loved the knot in her stomach she had whenever James talked to her. She loved the sick feeling she had after an erotic dream involving him. She loved everything. She loved the way he smiled. She loved the way he looked when he was flying. She loved the concentration on his face when he was turning a wizard wireless into a muggle cd player in advanced Transfiguration. She loved the way he moved, the way he sneezed. She loved… she loved James. She loved him. She loved him. She loved him. And she wasn't afraid anymore. She was in love.

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A/N wow I liked it. Did you? Please review. I really want to know whether the whole songfic concept worked for this chapter. So if you ever thought of reviewing my story, now is the time to do so.  
  



	11. Two Weeks Together

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Not even socks. My socks are the property of the state. Sad I know. I don't own any cheese either, what I would do for some cheese… Chapter 11 Two weeks together 

Once everyone had gone, James got up. He hadn't seen Lily leave, but maybe she'd snuck out while he had been talking to one of his friends. Knowing his luck, she'd probably seen him talking to a girl. 

He shrugged his shoulders and decided to go to bed and get some sleep. There was no use waiting anymore. She was gone. And even though it was only for two weeks, James felt like it was forever.

So he went back to his dorm, where Sirius and Travis were still asleep and  crawled into bed, fully clothed. He didn't sleep though. There was an indescribable force, making him stay awake. Telling him to get up. So he got changed and went down to the Great Hall.

The force was his stomach, rumbling furiously.

***

Lily rolled over and looked around the empty dorm. She decided to get up, but only because she knew she couldn't get back to sleep. James was still on her mind. As she made her way down the stairs, she saw a scruffy haired boy walking up the stairs on the other side. She was going to call out to him.

*What am I doing? That's not James. He goes home for the holidays. It's just someone who looks like him. Or maybe I'm dreaming again.*

So Lily went down to the almost empty Great Hall and ate Breakfast. Still thinking about James and what she would say to him when he got back. Now that she realised that she loved him, things had gotten even more confusing. Did she admit it? Or wait until he made a move? No he would never make a move. He had too much pride.

Her thoughts were disrupted by a loud, surprised voice behind her.

"Lily!"

*Fuck me, I called her Lily. I hope she doesn't notice. Nah, she's too smart, she'll realise*

She turned around.  
  
"James? What are you doing here?"

*Shit, I called him James. He's gonna know something's up. Wait… did he call me Lily?*

"Oh, didn't I tell you? I'm staying for the holidays- well the whole team is. See, our next game is against Slytherin and they've just got some new players," James took a seat next to Lily. "They have really different styles and we could really use the extra two weeks practice."

"Wow! I didn't know you could be serious about anything to do with school." Lily laughed, amazed at how relaxed she felt after spending the whole morning nervous as hell. And that was when she had thought hat James was coming back in two weeks.

"Hey, I'm the Gryffindor captain now. I have to be serious if I want to lead us to the final. We have a great team and I know we can win, so why not be serious about it."

*Hey she hasn't told me to fuck off, and she called me James, and she didn't cringe when I sat next to her.*

Lily smiled and nodded her head in agreement.

"So, Lily Evans. What are you doing here? I though you would be at home, yelling at your sister and parents."

"Hell no. They think I'm here doing extra-curricular activities. They love me when I'm not there. When they don't know what I'm doing, they can pretend that I'm perfect."

_*You are*_

They stayed there for over an hour, talking and eating. Enjoying each other's company, like two people in love should. Both so amazed, and happy, and desperately wanting to kiss. They were ready. 

James looked at Lily's watch. 

"Damn, past midday. I really got to go get the other guys and get to work. I've got ten new plays I want them to learn."

"Oh yeah, that's cool." Lily felt disheartened, she knew that as soon as he left, she would go back to feeling confused and despaired.

"It's been really great talking to you. Maybe we should do this more often?"

_*Please don't blow me off. PLEASE.*_

But Lily didn't blow him off, she had been thinking the exact same thing. She wanted to do it again. She wanted to do it right now, not just the talking. She wanted desperately to do more. She wanted to rip off his clothes and make sweet love to him. She didn't even care that the teachers were less then thirty metres away. 

Instead she said. "Yeah, sure. That would be great."

James turned to leave and picked up her glass of pumpkin juice.

"Lily?"

James had stopped and turned back around to face her.

"Do you want to come to practice with us? Just, if you had nothing to do."

He didn't want to be away from her either. He wanted to be as close to her as he could get. So when she accepted and smiled her sweet smile, James heart skipped a beat and he felt as if he was going to float away. 

*Fuck me! If I knew being in love was this great. I would've done it a lot earlier*


	12. Surprises

Chapter 12 

**Surprises **

Lily enjoyed watching the boys practice Quidditch. She noticed how much of a great leader James was. The guys trusted him so completely and never hesitated when he told them what to do. From high in the air, he would call out things like, "Harris, fall back." And "Ok guys do the charging rhino."

He had named all his plays after animals, like the graceful swan or the crying lamb or the bloodthirsty shark.

The other times that Lily had watched their practices, she had been sitting in the back corner of the stands where no one could see her, but she could see James well. Now she stood on the sidelines and cheered, watching as James flew around in the sky, coaching the team of Gryffindor's like a professional team.

Lily was amazed at the endurance and obedience of these boys. The usually laid back Sirius was a chaser and concentrated immensely on the plays that James had told him to do. If James said swoop, he swooped faster than an attacking vulture, always at the ready, always eager to follow James' orders. The other boys were the same. Almost all of the Gryffindor team was made up of troublemakers or people that Lily had always thought of as no good.

Samuel Dyrenium was so stupid he barely passed each grade; in fact, it took him two goes of fifth year before he got it right. Now the seventh year was determined to make a name for himself. He was easily the best beater in the school.

Two hours later, James blew a whistle and yelled. "Great work, guys. Lets hit the ground."

The whole team landed and made their way to the change rooms, making jokes and being stupid, just the way Lily had always thought of them.

She realised the how passionate they all were about Quidditch. Sirius was the first to reach her. 

"Evans," he looked like he was searching for words to say. Lily thought he wanted to know why James had brought her along. But she was surprised when he said. "I was wondering when you two would get it together, Prongs has fancied you for years." He turned around to make sure James wasn't in earshot. He was about fifty metres away, talking to Travis about his broom.

"Do you know he loves you?"

Lily didn't say anything.

"Well I guess he hasn't told you but he does. He hasn't told me either but he thinks about you all the time. If he hears someone badmouth you, or even muggle-borns, he curses them. It's not just because he can. He is loyal and trustworthy." He turned around again and saw James coming towards them. "Just stick with him. He'll make you happy. You're perfect for him."

Then he walked away, immediately reverting to the laid back Sirius he had been before the game.

Lily was not only amazed at what Sirius had said, but the way he had said it. She had thought that Sirius and James were friends because they both liked girls and hated rules, but they were friends. True friends. Lily had friends that she could trust with secrets and friends she could understand when no one has said a word and friends that were there when she needed them, but not if she didn't. Those friends were great, but to have a friendship like James and Sirius had. For the first time in her life she was jealous of them. Not the hating, spiteful jealousness that most girls had, but a jealousness that made her feel happy for them and want to know more about them and their friendship.

She hoped she would. Lily wanted to know everything there was to know about James, that included his friends. Now she knew Sirius wanted them to be together, it gave her a kind of strength to decide to make the first move.

Make the first move, like in her dream.

_*I guess my dreams are coming true*_

James approached Lily with the passion he had up in the air still noticeable in his eyes. 

"Did you like?"

"You're so good up there. And the respect those guys have for you is amazing. Most of them have never shown respect to anyone in their lives."

"Isn't it great? They worship me." James joked. He smiled his killer smile and gave a quick look over his shoulder. "I gotta go do some theory work with the guys, but maybe later we could get a start on that potions assignment together?"

"That would be great. I was hoping I'd have someone to keep me awake while I was doing that essay."

"Great," James looked relieved; he had wanted to ask her all practice. He was glad he had come up with an excuse to see her again. "I'll see you in the library after dinner then, say about seven?"

"Seven's perfect."

*_You're perfect_* James thought again.

He was about to leave but had a better idea. He bent down and gave Lily a kiss on the cheek. "I'm glad we're friends. I don't think I could've kept up that hating you charade for much longer."

Then he left, leaving Lily feeling as though she was high on every drug there was. She didn't stop smiling for the rest of the afternoon.

She barely touched her dinner, she spent most of her time watching out for James. She didn't see him though. He would normally woofing down as much food as he could. At ten to seven, Sirius joined her at the table.

"Sirius, do you know where James is?"

"You're his girlfriend, you should know." He said with a smirk. 

"We're not going out."

Sirius looked shocked. "You're not? Then why did you come to practice today? And why did he kiss you afterward?"

"You saw that?"

"Why did he come into the change rooms with a huge stupid grin on his face? Why did he rush up to have a shower instead of having dinner?"

"Really?"

"I really thought you were going out, seriously. I can't believe you're not."

"Well." Lily knew she could trust Sirius so she came out and said, "I'm working on it okay? Hopefully things will work out by the end of the night. We're doing the potions assignment together."

"And how much of the assignment do you expect to get done?"

Lily laughed and gave Sirius a soft punch on the arm, she talked to him for a couple on minutes more and then decided to go to the library.

"If James comes, tell him to eat first."

Sirius grinned, "That's so sweet. You're not even going out yet and you're worried about his eating habits. If you weren't hot for my friend, I would so bone you."

Lily gave another laugh and made her way to the library. She waited for about ten minutes (nine minutes, five seconds, not that she was counting) and then James rushed in.

"Sorry I'm late, but Sirius forced me to eat dinner, even though I wasn't hungry." He added, not wanting to sound desperate.

Lily was glad he had eaten and even happier to find out it was Sirius who forced him. "Of course you were hungry, you haven't eaten since breakfast and you've been flying around all afternoon. But I've got to say you eat fast. I haven't even been here ten minutes."

"Well I didn't want you to think I wasn't coming"

_*Damn, I sounded desperate again*_

"I mean, I really should get this assignment done and it would be a lot better with your help. I usually just throw some words together the night before its due and hope that I pass."

Lily and James talked and talked until Madame Pince told them to do some work or get out. So they decided to find the books they needed and get started.

They looked in the Potions section of the reference books, brushing dust off the older books so they could read their titles.

"Here's one." Lily said, pulling an old dusty book off the top shelf, bringing a pile of dust with it. She sneezed dropping the book. Lily and James both crouched down to pick it up. They smiled and looked up at each other. Lily's eyes were slightly watery from the dust and James eye's were dark and intense.

"I love your green eye's" James said at the same time Lily said, "I love your brown eyes."

They smiled again and kept staring at each other. Lily's legs were stating to hurt. She decided that she had to move, but didn't know whether to stand up or move closer to James. Instead, she decided to kiss him. She leant towards him and kissed his lips before he knew what was happening. He sat back against the bookshelf and closed his eyes. It was the best kiss he had ever had. She was enchanting and gentle and passionate all at once. She pulled away.

"Wow, you're good" James sighed happily. He pushed a bit of loose hair from her face and let his hand rest on her cheek. "You made the first move. I like that. It's never happened to me before. It's good," He added, when Lily made an unsure face. She smiled again. "It's really good."

"You got the job done yourself." Lily's insides were flopping around with joy. She was the happiest she'd ever been. She didn't know what else to say so she kissed him again. This time, letting her tongue slip into his mouth and he seemed to be smiling as he kissed her back. She moved closer to him and they became more comfortable. She wrapped her hands around his neck and he supported her tiny back with his arms. They stopped kissing and stared some more, but it wasn't long before they were kissing again. And they didn't stop until Madame Pince came to see what was taking so long and started to scream at the sight. They jumped up and ran from the library, James grabbing his glasses from the table as they left. 

They exploded into the hallway and started laughing, a mixture of embarrassment and joy taking over. They held hand and Lily leaned against James as they walked. She could feel his heartbeat under his ribs and felt like a child listening to her mother's heart and feeling comforted and relaxed. 

They didn't walk directly to the common room, they went the longest root they could think of, just so they could stay like that for as long as possible. Both of them were so relieved that they were finally together, finally 

When they reached the common room, they faced each other and held hands, once again entranced by each other's eyes. They didn't want to leave each other so they stood there for almost half an hour, not saying a word, just looking into each others eyes, reading each others thoughts and making each other crazy.

Finally, James blinked and broke the silence.

"We should really do something. I don't think all this staring is healthy."

"Yeah, I should get to bed, I didn't sleep well last night."

"Neither, I think it has something to do with the fact that everyone went home and we had to stay at school."

_*I couldn't stop thinking of you*_

They stood there for a while, waiting for the other to move. Then Lily said "Thanks for a great night, I never thought that I would've enjoyed doing a potions assignment. But you proved me wrong. Today has been so full of surprises."

"What's that supposed to mean? You didn't think we would get together?" James asked, a smirk appearing on his face.

"No not that. Sometimes," She stopped and thought for a while. "Sometimes you think you know people but you don't, and it surprises you when you find out who they really are." She smiled. "Next time you see Sirius, thank him."

She gave James one last (very long) kiss and went upstairs. She twirled and danced to her bed and lay down thinking she was the luckiest girl in the world.

***

James went to bed. It felt wrong because he hadn't gone to bed and slept for a long time. He had spent to many nights waiting for her to come. 

The time when he thought she wouldn't, she did. She found him. And he fell even deeper into the hole of love.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**A/N: Yay, I wrote a long chapter. Every other chapter I ran out of time and had to end it but I wrote a long one and I'm so proud.**

**Hopefully more long ones to come but I need to brainstorm and think of some more ideas first**.


	13. Requirement

I was sitting in the study, eating socks and wearing cheese and I wrote this chapter, please don't bitch about me being unoriginal coz I already know that. Chapter 13 

**Requirement **

Lily lay on her bed in her empty dorm, staring out the window, watching the sun go down. She heard a soft click behind her and turned her head to see James closing the door.

"James, what are you doing in here?" She was glad to see him but she had seen Mrs Norris prowling around earlier. Sure it was only a kitten, but that cat was better at busting kids than Mr Filch himself.

"Can't a guy visit his girl?" He sat on the bed beside her and stroked her hair.

"No, it's just, how did you get in here? Aren't there spells to keep the guys out?" She turned on her side and rested her head on her arm.

"You think a simple admittance enchantment can keep me out?"

"Never." Lily admitted.

James bent down and kissed her on her forehead. "These past two weeks have been amazing. I can't believe how comfortable I feel when I'm with you. I mean, I'm pretty relaxed when I'm hanging with the guys and stuff but it's so different with you. It's amazing."

Lily smiled. She had been comfortable too, she loved being with him and felt so different around him. Like life was better. But right now, she wasn't as comfortable as she should've been. 

What will everyone think? I'm supposed to hate James, not dating him…I can't wait to see Wendy's face though.

James suddenly reached out and grabbed Lily, pulling her on top of him. She was giggling as she said, "Blimey, you scared me." And then kissed him. They smiled at each other.

She turned around so that she was sitting in his open legs, head resting on his shoulder. She closed her eyes and listened to his breathing. They lay there for a while.

"You know, you're perfect." James whispered in her ear.

Lily opened her eyes. "Don't say that. I'm not."

"You are. You're so perfect that even your imperfections are perfect."

"What imperfections?"

"There's one. You don't even know what your imperfections are." He joked.

She punched his leg lightly. "No really, I want to know."

  
Well sometimes when you laugh, you snort." He said, smiling.

"Snort? No I don't. I've never snorted in my life! Okay, maybe once or twice. What else?"

"Um, you always hand in your assignments early and you always leave a bit of your hair hanging out at the back when you wear it up. Your left eye twitches every time you lie. And…and when you kiss me…" Lily turned around again so she could look into his eyes. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her up closer to him. She brought her legs around and wrapped them around him. His hands moved to her backside to provide support and she leant in close to him, waiting for an answer.

"When you kiss me, you think. Where most people just let it take over them, you think. And I can feel your thoughts, on your lips, on your tongue. I can see them in your eyes. And its perfect. You're perfect."

"Well you've got the job done yourself."

"Yeah, but I admit it. I know I'm perfect and I have to let everyone else know. It's one of my imperfections."

Lily smiled and kissed him. "Would you still like me if I didn't snort?"

"With tits like that, hell yeah." James started to laugh. Lily opened her mouth to retaliate but James stopped her by giving her a long kiss, and soon Lily forgot what she was going to say.

They continued kissing until the sun had gone to bed and the room became dark. A soft ringing noise echoed through the castle and James pulled away. His second love was calling for him.

"Dinner."

They made their way down to the Great Hall and joined Sirius, who was discussing Quidditch with Frank Longbottom, head boy and former Gryffindor chaser. Next to Sirius sat a 7th year Slytherin, Kimberley Grima, looking deeply impressed with Sirius's discussion on Broomstick tampering, but of cause not having a clue what he was talking about.

Lily remembered her first encounter with Kimberley in her first year. She had bumped into her in the crowded hallway.

"Don't get your filthy mudblood germs on me, you derro." She snared at her.

"Sorry, I wasn't looking."

"Obviously, bitch."

"Make her pay." Kimberley's friend Augustine Rockwood growled.

"_Boroform Madorfious_" Kimberley hissed.

Lily's ears swelled to the size of Quaffles. Kimberley was only an amateur spell caster, which caused the hex to have a painful consequence.

Lily grabbed her books and ran to the Hospital Wing as fast as she could.

She never knew why but Kimberley had approached her almost two years later and apologised to her and said that she'd changed her ways. Lily and Kimberley had been friends ever since and Kimberley had become quite keen on Sirius, although he never seemed to notice.

So now, as Lily and James sat down and began to eat their dinner, Kimberley talked to Lily about school, boys, teachers, people she hated (which included Augustine Rockwood and many of her other former friends), and any thing else she could think of. Kimberley was a big talker and could talk for hours and hours about anything you asked her about. So the five friends sat, talking and eating, until the topic changed to a miserable one. New school rules.

"I know I'm head boy, but as hard as I try, the teachers wont budge. They really want this curfew thing to go ahead and there's no way we can change their mind. I'm sorry, but we're going to have to accept it." Frank said gravely. "Maybe if you two stopped running around the school at all hours they would have some more lenience."

"That's bollocks, Longbottom. We aren't restricted by rules. If anything, we do shit just because it's against the rules. I say go ahead with this stupid curfew. The more rules there are, the more rules there are to break."

"Okay, lets beak the rules then." James suggested despondently.

"No, don't just break the rules, destroy the rules. Lets do something so against the rules. And lets get away with it." Kimberley grinned maliciously, eyes glowing in the moonlight of the enchanted ceiling.

"Guys, come on. It's not really that bad."

"In our common rooms by nine, in our dorms by midnight, no noise after ten. I hate rules. I don't want them to make rules that control what we do every minute of every day. This is a school, not azkaban. And we're kids, we want to stay up late and make noise, its our job. They can't stop us. Its stupid." Sirius growled and gritted his teeth.

Three weeks ago, Lily had thought that Sirius didn't have a care in the world. But now he seemed so passionate, so unmovable, so right. Lily was in total agreeance with everything Sirius had said. They were teenagers, they needed some freedom.

"You know what Sirius, all that sounded pretty convincing. I'm in." James smiled at Lily and held her hand under the table.

"I'm in too." He said confidently.

"For sure," Sirius added. "As if I would say no to that. I said it in the first place."

"So we're all in?" Kimberley asked determinedly.

James, Lily and Sirius all looked at Frank in suspense, but Frank did not show any sign of decision until he said. "We're not going to get caught, right? I'm head boy. I can't get caught."

"Relax, man. We're not gonna get caught. We'll be fine." James reassured. 

"Then I'm in, unless I think you come up with a breakable plan. But if it's good. Then I'll help you out."

"You legend. Great. Now we just have to come up with an idea. What are we gonna do?" Sirius seemed to want to get right into the action. But Lilly had already been thinking about this and had come up with the perfect idea.

"We're going to throw a party." She didn't even have to suggest it. She just said it and everyone instantly agreed. 

"That's perfect." Kimberley said, and by the look on her face, she too began to think about how, when and most importantly where.

"But we'll need some more people to help organise, I mean this is gonna be huge right? As in all 6th and 7th years or something like that?" James said.

"I reckon we just invite the people we want to, it'll end up being most of 6th and 7th, but without those unwanted guests."

"Well, how are we going to keep it a secret?"

"Where are we going to fit if there's going to be so many of us?"

"How will we get to where ever without getting caught?"

"What if someone dobs us in?"

"How the hell are we going to make this work?"

All questions had gone to Lily, whose eyes had become wide. A confused look crept across her face. Why were they asking her? She didn't know the answers.

"Well I suppose Remus, Ebony, Terran, Casey, Jack, Johnny. They'll probably want to help out."

"And I could  get Trish and Mandy to help." Kimberley added.

"I can't do much, I really don't want to get too involved, but I can help with where to go." Frank said and all attention was turned to him. "The place doesn't actually exist, yet. But we can make it. It'll be hard work, but it's pretty much our best choice."

All eyes were on him, but he didn't continue.

"Where the fuck is it?" Sirius burst out suddenly, suspense killing him.

"It's not exactly a where, so much as a what. I read about it in Niemerhiems compendium. It's something we could conjure, we could make and no one would notice. It's called the room of requirement."


	14. Where for Art Though, Frank

**Chapter 14 ****  
Where for art though Frank?**

The next day was a long one. James had gone to sleep in Lily's bed, they'd been up late planning the party and had fallen asleep in each others arms.

It was late before they woke up, almost midday. The rest of the school would be coming in a few hours. James rushed downstairs to the boys dorms to get Sirius, while Lily got changed and ran to the spot they had agreed to meet Frank and Kim.

Kim was waiting at the top of the stairs, eyes dark and face pale. Lily approached her, feeling exactly how they both looked. But they smiled excitedly at each other and did a quick look around before talking in low voices.

"Where's Frank?" Lily asked as she sat down on the top step.

Kim sat next to her. "He's at the library, he said to meet him there. He had to look something up or find something…I wasn't really listening."

"This thing better work. I've never done anything this huge before. I want to remember something from this school. Being the perfect student is kind of dull."

"Yeah, but then there's me. I've found the perfect balance. I'm perfect in class, but as soon as seventh is done- I'm back to my old self. Well not my old old self…you know what I mean."

"Yeah…why did you change anyway? You were such a bitch to me."

"Well remember that guy I used to date, Goyle? He was a joke, he liked me like that so I acted like that. When I realised that everyone hated me and I was almost failing every subject…I…I guess I realised that I was the joke. So I'm me now. I'm better."

"And Goyle's repeating sixth year, isn't he?"

Kim nodded and the girls laughed. They soon forgot their conversation when James and Sirius came running down the hall.

"Lil, I have an idea." James said excitedly as they reached the stairs.

Kim looked around and saw a first year walking down the hall towards them. "Let's walk and talk."

They made their way down the stairs towards the library, James whispering loudly and the others listening intently.

"It's foolproof, we've done harder things with less magic,"

"But less people." Lily added. "You said a couple of hundred people, that's one big distraction on your hands."

"We can do it." Sirius assured her. "We only need some help from our outside contacts. Renord Fillyrink owes us a favour or two and it's about time we cash 'em in."

"Will they fall for it though?" Kim said, opening the door to the library and taking a look around.

"There's only one way to find out. If it doesn't work out…I'm sure we can think of something else." James and the others joined Frank at his table and gave him a meaningful look. The library wasn't the safest place to talk, being the last day of the holidays, it was full of students catching up on the study they had stayed back to do.

Frank pushed a huge, ancient looking book towards them and they all leant in to read it.

_ PROFESSOR FERDINAND McLaughlin (1755-1879)_

_Professor Ferdinand McLaughlin was the inventor of such creations as wobbly-table fixers, hinges for huge doors, floating candles, room of requirement, dragon-hide boots…_

The four skimmed down the page until they got to the subheading;

_THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT_

Also referred to as the "Come And Go" room. Allows the possessor of requirement to formulate a secret room equipped with all necessities. The creation is kept in McLaughlin's exclusive tomes, which are hidden from access of most wizards. Very few wizards know the procedure for this enchantment, which is problematical for those who do not possess the knowledge or power.

Lily looked up at Frank. The other three were still reading. "So where are his books?"

"Don't know. He used to live near here, but I doubt that his stuff will be left where he lived. I'm guessing he left his journals to a relative, friend…or something."

Lily stood up. "I'll be back." She disappeared into the bookshelves and returned several minutes later carrying three of four huge books. By then, Sirius had told Frank about "The Distraction Phase" and was whispering furiously about his ideas.

"I think it will have to be really believable- but not anything out of the ordinary, like a conference or a gathering…or, I don't know. I'll think about it. Found anything Lily?"

Lily had dropped the books on the table with a soft thud. She shrugged her shoulders and passed a book to Frank. "I think there are references to details of some wizards deaths in there, but I don't know if this Laughlin guy will be in there.

The four of them stayed for many hours, reading about the funeral of Barry the boisterous and the will of Gemuds Crukelhimeratouase, but in the end only found two useful facts about Ferdinand McLaughlin: that he taught at Hogwarts and that he died at Hogwarts. Two facts that seemed useful- but how? They didn't know.

They all huddled together in the darkening room, discussing their next plan of action.

"Guy's, is this party worth all the trouble? I mean, there are plenty of other ways to break the rules." Lily's comment was met with shocked stares from the other four.

"Lily, it'll be great. The students need a party. We'll give it to them. We'll have a super time." James gave her a kiss on the cheek and took her hand. "Now lets go have dinner, the others will be back by now."

"Oh, yeah the feast." Sirius' eyes were filled with delight. "I'm starving."

So the five of them made their way down to the Great Hall. The Gryffindor table fell completely silent at the sight of Lily and James walking hand in hand, Lily leaning against his shoulder and smile on her face. Half of the school were now looking at James and Lily in shock. James whispered in Lily's ear. "Let's give them something to talk about." He leant over her and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. They pulled away and walked towards the Gryffindor table and the group of cheering Gryffindor sixth years. Travis nudged Johnnie and said in a conceited voice, "I told you so."

"You two finally got it together." Wendy exclaimed. She seemed to have forgotten the grudge she had held against Lily for so long. James and Lily sat down between Terran Duran and Ruben Dyingcat and told their story of secret crushes and Sirius' slip-ups. Soon the relationship was accepted and the topic was rejected. They were now discussing in low voices the plans of the curfew-breaking party. Frank looked towards Kim and saw that she was doing the same. He drank the last of his pumpkin juice and excused himself. Lily remembered him saying that he didn't want to get in trouble and thought that he was probably leaving so that he could not be linked as one of the organisers of the shindig. She soon returned to the conversation. The others seemed very keen for it to go ahead. Lily knew that the news would soon be spread around the school and she had a realisation that more than a couple of hundred people would want to come. The whole school would soon be seeking invitation.

James and Sirius snuck out of the common room late that night, hidden by James' invisibility cloak. They made their way to the library, stopping a few times to avoid Filch and later Peeves. Once they had reached their destination, they made their way to the restricted section. With a quick glance towards the secure door, James pulled of the cloak and pointed his wand at the bookshelf.

"Lumos."

His wand lit up the spines of the old dusty books. James eyes lingered on books with titles such as _Secrets of the Dead, Spells of the lost, mysteries of the Ancient _and _Discover deceased enigma._

He looked in a couple of books, not finding anything useful and not expecting to. It was Sirius' idea to look for more information. When the windows let in the first of the suns rays, James whistled to Sirius. "Let's go." On their way out, a book entitled _Lesen Sie Nicht _caught James' eyes. He looked away and threw the cloak over Sirius and himself. The book was soon forgotten as they made their way back to their dorm to fit in a couple of hours sleep before class.

##

It was after school the next day when they got the news. James, Lily, Remus, Sirius, Peter and Ebony were down at the border of the Forbidden Forest.

Ebony Wiccapot was easily the most popular girl in school for many reasons. The main one being that she was the only dealer of wiccapot in Hogwarts. Wiccapot's had been selling wiccapot at Hogwarts since Ebony's Great, great Grandfather John Murphy had been a student there. He had made the discovery of a magical drug, often referred to as Magic Marijuana, but officially named Wiccapot. John changed his name to Wiccapot and manufactured. He sold it in Hogwarts but dropped out of school and made millions of Galleons selling it in Hogsmeade and other magical cities. He tried to sell to muggles but the side effects were worse on them than actual pot- defying the purpose of John's work.

Ebony, being the only dealer and extremely rich held a lot of power over the student body. Despite her popularity, she spent most of her time by herself or with her childhood friend Sirius.

Today seemed no different to any other. Remus found the effects of wiccapot to help him cope with his werewolf transformations and as it was less than a week until the full moon he was well stocked up. Ebony counted the money quickly and put it in her robe pocket.

"Thanks Mooney, here's one for the road." She handed a joint to Remus, Sirius and Peter and kept one for herself. She looked at Lily, "You want one?"

Lily wrinkled her nose. "Thanks, but no thanks. I'll be right."

"You're such a James. I thought he was a tough guy but he won't even try wiccapot. You guys don't know what you're missing."

"Fuck off! If I did that shit I could never get into the Quidditch league. It's not worth my future."

It was the first time Lily had heard James talk with any ambition for the future. She smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Good for you."

James opened his mouth to answer but was distracted by Kim, who was running down the slope towards them. She reached them and stopped to lean against the tree. She panted heavily.

"Where's Frank?"

The group looked at her with blank faces. Sirius shook his head. "Dunno."

"Shit." She yelled kicking a tree. Sirius passed her his joint and she took a long drag and gave it back. She seemed to calm down almost instantly. "He was supposed to meet me this morning and he didn't show and I've been looking for him all day. Has anyone seen him?"

Everyone shook his or her heads or muttered no's. "Who was the last to see him?" Lily said, trying to remember if she'd seen him at all during the day.

"Has anyone seen him since the Great Hall the other night?" Sirius flicked his joint into the wet grass.

"I saw him leaving the common room before we went to bed. That was about eleven. Did anyone see him after then?" James waved a cloud of smoke away and gave Peter a kick. "Get out of my face Wormtail. You fuckin' stink."

"He's gone then." Kim gulped and shook her head.

"Then lets find him then. He can't have gotten too far." Remus blew one last breath of smoke and started his way back to the castle. The others followed.

Frank looked up and a desperate feeling replaced the hope. No one was ever going to find him. He would die from hunger before they even thought to look here. Why had he come by himself? He would never get out of here alive.


	15. Clues and Secrets

Chapter 15 

**Clues and secrets**

Remus opened the doors to the Entrance Hall and the others followed him in. they all stopped and looked at each other.

Sirius started to laugh. "Are we gonna start looking or are we gonna stay here all day?"

Kim jumped into action. "Okay we split up. James and Lily check his usual places. Classrooms, library, wherever you think he might be. Sirius and I will check the grounds and forest. You three check the common room and his dorm. Ask around, see if anyone has seen him but don't make it seem suspicious."

Everyone ran off in their own directions.

Lily followed James up the stairs. The library was pretty much empty, Definitely no Frank. They went outside and looked at each other. "Where now?"

"Kitchens? Prefect's bathroom? Prefect's common room?" Lily looked at the intense nervousness on James' face and let out a little laugh.

"He'll be fine. We'll find him."

James shook his head. "It's not just that. It's…" He started walking down the hall, partly to avoid Lily's eyes but mainly to get to the Prefect's bathroom. "It's kind of not his fault. He was least into this idea. He was just the informer for us. Gave us a bit of help, y' know. We got him into this mess."

Lily looked at James. His head was down and his hands were pushed deep into his pockets. This was not the James she thought she knew. She had learnt so much in the past few weeks, and kept learning. She reached out and pulled James' hand out of his pocket and held it in her own. Neither of them said a word, but just this single gesture gave him the confidence to walk with his head up. 

They checked everywhere they could think of but there was no Frank, and no clue to where he could be. On their way back down to the Entrance Hall, James and Lily ran into Snape. Snape had somehow gained some confidence over the holidays and was no longer scared of James and Sirius, instead he seemed to taunt them, goading them to start something. This day he seemed to have a lot of pent up frustration and needed someone to take it out on. He knew James wouldn't do anything in front of Lily, so he took his chances and called out to James.

"Hey, Potter. Fucked her yet." James grinded his teeth but ignored Snape and kept walking, gripping Lily's hand harder than before. "I said have you fucked the mudblood yet?"

"Go away you little bitch."

"Nup."

"How the fuck did you manage to get even more annoying than usual."

"I only have you to that, you inspired me to…"

"Piss me off?"

"Pretty much."

"Come of James lets go." Lily said quietly.

James gave a nod. "See ya later Shriveldick."

He gave Snape a shove and kept walking past him.

"Hey Evans, I know what he wants from you. A good fuck up the ass." Snape let out a laugh. "The faggot likes it like that, but I guess a mudblood slut like you likes it from the back. Who wants to look at his face at a time like that."

They kept walking, Snape close behind them. Lily could see the concentration on James' face as he tried to ignore him, but he looked like he couldn't hold out for much longer.

"Or maybe everything is as I expected and he doesn't even have a dick. That broomstick of his has to come in handy sometime, the same thing can be said about you though…"

BANG

In less than a second, Lily had yanked her wand out of her pocket and turned on Snape, all her anger put into a hex that sent him flying across the hall and into a wall. He fell in a heap on the ground below. Sirius, who was standing nearby with Kim, walked over and gave him a kick before joining Lily and James. 

"No luck." Kim sighed. "I'm guessing it's the same for you guys judging that beautiful anger attack you had just then."

"Nah, not really. Hopefully the others find him, or at least someone that's seen him."

They had.

Remus and Ebony had left Peter to check the owlery and had asked around in the common room for any help. No one had seen him, but at least this had confirmed their suspicion of Frank going AWOL. They then made their way up to the dorm. Frank had a separate dorm at the very top of the stairs. When they reached the door they read a shiny gold sign with the words

HEAD BOY  
KEEP OUT

Inscribed in it. Remus tried the handle. It was locked.

"Alohamora." Ebony said tapping the lock with her wand. It didn't work. "Damn, this place is secure."

Remus looked over his shoulder to make sure there was no one else about and then pulled out his wand. Muttering words under his breath so that Ebony couldn't hear, his wand let out a purple light, making the door burst open.

Ebony grinned. "Alright, Remus. I knew you were smart prefect boy, but I bet Dumbledore has trouble breaking a barrier curse."

"Well you learn shit like that when your friends with James and Sirius."

Ebony pushed him inside and closed the door behind them. "So, can anyone get in now, or is it just the one open kind of spell?"

"Well, I guess Frank could get in, but once the door is locked from the inside, no one else could get in. Over here." Remus walked over to a large mahogany desk, which was piled with books and papers. "It's stuff on the room of requirement I think. _Professor Ferdinand McLaughlin." _He read. "Yeah, that's the guy right?" he turned to Ebony, who was staring at him with a strange glint in her eye. 

"So, no one can get in here, except Frank."

"Yeah."

"And Frank is missing, right?"

Remus opened his eyes wide as he realised what she was hinting. He gave her a small smile and she gave him one back.

"Do you think this room is soundproof?" Ebony whispered.

"God I hope so." Remus stood up from his chair and pushed Ebony back towards the bed. He kissed her kicked off his shoes. "Or we're gonna be in trouble."

     #~*~#

Twenty minutes later, Peter stood in the common room, wondering how long Remus and Ebony would be. He waited a while longer, but having such a short attention span, he soon got sick of waiting. He decided to find James, James would surely do something more interesting. James was always a lot of fun. So he made his way downstairs to meet the others. 

It was dinnertime before Remus and Ebony in the Great Hall joined them. They had strange looks on their faces and looked very cagey. The others knew that they had found something useful. Sirius had also guessed that they had had sex. He had a knack for knowing those things.

Later that night they all met in an empty classroom as arranged at dinner. James brought the Marauder's map and kept watch while Remus read through the notes Frank had written. When he saw someone coming he would duck behind a cupboard and the others would follow suit and move to their hiding places. They were not normally this cautious but not knowing what had happened to Frank made them nervous.

Remus stopped in mid-sentence as he read the line in his head. "I found it."

"What?" the others whispered. "It's perfect. He taught here and died here. He left all his stuff here too…"

"Make sense please. You're not making sense." Kim leaned over Remus' shoulder to read the page. "A vault? A secret vault and you guys didn't know about it?"

"A vault, I bet he's there." James jumped up. "Let's go."

Remus shook his head. "I think he's trapped. There're two entrances to the vault. A wrong way and a right way. If you take the wrong way, you can't get out. I'm guessing Frank went the wrong way."

"Which is wrong and which is right?"

"I don't know, but I can find out. There's a spell I read about. A danger alert kind of thing. I can test the two entrances and see which one is safe, but it'll take me at least three hours."

"Whatever it takes."

Lily stood up next to James. "Guy's is this party really worth losing lives?"

Sirius sighed. "I can't believe I'm saying this but I agree. It's just a party. Longbottom's our friend. I don't think we should do this anymore."

"We'll talk about it later. First I need some supplies." Remus interrupted. "Can you guys get some stuff from the potions supply cupboard?"

"What do you need?" James asked. Remus tore a bit of parchment off Franks work and made a short list. 

"This. Hurry."

With those two words, Sirius and James ran from the room. Remus asked Peter to get a cauldron. He paused for a moment, as if he didn't understand, but in a moment he changed his expression and ran out of the room. 

Ebony raised an eyebrow. "He is one scary little guy."


	16. Betrayal

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, but I went shopping and now own two pairs of socks. I will soon be buying some cheese but I need your reviews before I do that! Chapter 16 

**Betrayal **

Ebony watched Remus work. She admired his concentration, as she had never had the attention span to concentrate on anything for more than five minutes. Instead, she preferred to hang out and smoke or deal some wiccapot.

It was only the two of them in the secret room that Sirius and James had named the Room of Blow. It was quiet and private, just what Remus needed at the moment. What he didn't need was Ebony's eyes always upon him, or a drift of smoke in his face every now and then. He wanted nothing more than to be with her, the small but romantic room didn't help anything.

He kept thinking about the amazing time that they'd had not so long ago, that led him to feelings of guilt for not thinking about the mess Frank was in, and that meant that he was not getting much work done. Translating the long and in his opinion overwritten tomes of Abotimier was boring. He found himself staring at the tiny writing with unfocused eyes. Mostly he thought about Ebony, and the way she made him crazy in both a good way and a 'I'm going completely mental with you sitting so close to me' way.

He read what he had written and sighed. "Damn, where am I gonna get Larifin from?"

He turned to look at her and only felt less like reading. She sat beside him, candlelight illuminating her face just enough for him to see the soft milky glow of her skin and the brightness of her blue eyes. She was rolling Wiccapot into cigarettes, one hanging out of her mouth also. 

He reached up and stroked her blonde hair gently. "It's getting late, why don't you go to bed?"

"Late? It's four in the morning, what's the use of going to sleep now? I don't usually sleep during the week anyway. Class really interrupts with my social life." She summoned the ashtray from the other side of the room and added to the pile. 

"What are you talking about? You don't go to class."

"You got me there." They were both too bored and tired to laugh so they just smiled. "I'll go, but. I'm getting bored. And I have somewhere to be for some, ahh…business."

She left the room and made her way to the Wiccapot dealing room, a room completely dedicated to her by Sirius and decorated by James. It was pretty much a small room with some couches and what Lily called a radio playing music softly. Lily was very into music, so was Remus actually. They often talked about a music group called the Beatles and Ebony caught Lily singing their songs when she thought she was alone in the dorm.

Ebony waited for her best friend, and co-dealer, Terran Duran in the room, wishing she was with Remus but knowing they couldn't be doing anything anyway. Terran never showed up, but at 5.03 exactly, Elizabeth Slater and Wendy Clear entered the room.

"Hey, Eb." Wendy sat next to her and Elizabeth stuck her head out into the hall.

"I'm pretty sure we weren't followed."

"Good." Ebony pulled a paper bag out of her robes and handed it to Wendy. "I'll discount it if you can tell me where I can get some Larifin."

Wendy and Elizabeth were the school know-it-all's. Most of the stuff they knew was useless, but sometimes it came in handy, especially if there was something to bribe them with. 

"Larifin? That's what Severus Snape is always bragging about." Elizabeth hinted

"Snivellus." Ebony hissed. "Does he have any?"

"How big is this discount?" Wendy's eyes glinted and a sneaky smile appeared on her face.

"If you help me… a galleon for the lot."

Wendy and Elizabeth looked at each other.

"He says he does, but there's no way to tell for sure."

"Thanks." She gave them the pakage, took the gold coin and ran from the room.

~*~*~*~*~*

"I thought you said a few hours." James said to Remus.

"Leave him alone, James." Lily said seriously. She had been very tense since the whole Snape thing. "Let him speak."

"I still need some more time, and another ingredient-"

"Lets call it the secret ingredient." Sirius interrupted, still half asleep.

"Lets call it the hundred-galleon-only-sold-in-dark-magic-shop-need-to-be-liscenced-wizard-to-purchase ingredient."

"We'll go to Hogsmeade and steal it then." James said defiantly.

"They'd have it pretty well protected, Prongs. We can't just walk in there and…" 

Remus was interrupted by Ebony bursting into the door. "Do you still need Larifin?" She panted.

"Yeah, why?" 

"Snape apparently has a secret stash, in his room."

Sirius suddenly woke up. "Sniveldick. Perfect. We can do it."

"How are we going to get into the Slytherin common room?" Lily objected.

"Kim." Sirius said simply. "Now all we need is a distraction and I have the perfect distraction. Class."

~*~*~*~*

Later that day, while all the good boys and girls were in class, Kim, James, Sirius and Remus all entered the common room. Lily and Ebony waited at the door, keeping watch. They had no idea what to do if anyone came, but they knew someone had to be there, so they volunteered. Out of the thick of things, fray adjacent. These were all good in Lily's opinion.

They sat near the door, leaning against the cool stone walls. They were at first talking quietly and nervously, but the more time the others took, the more relaxed they got.

"You've been friends with Remus for a while, right." Ebony asked Lily.

"Well, you've been friends with him longer, but we've always kind of talked and stuff."

"I'm only friends with Remus because I'm friends with Sirius. You're just friends with him."

"Yeah, I suppose. Why do you want to know?" Lily wasn't sure where this conversation was going, but it was starting to make her nervous again. 

"Have you ever had sex with him?" Ebony blurted out.

"What!? No." Lily turned to face Ebony. "That's like you having sex with Sirius."

"Well, we have."

"Seriously? I didn't think you guys were…with each other."  
  
"Well we're not anymore. But it was last Christmas, we bumped into each other and we found out we lived near each other, so we started hanging out. On New Years Eve, we were kind of bored…and well, we weren't bored for long." She gave a little laugh. Lily stared at her, flabbergasted.

"Well, anyway. I wanted to talk about Remus."

Lily blinked a couple of times until she finally managed to form words. "Yeah, that's right. What, you want to have sex with him too?"

"Well, I already have."

Lily returned to her speechlessness until she finally stuttered. "W-well…how…how is he?"

"Oh God! He's amazing! That's what I wanted to talk about. I think he was a virgin, or not really that experienced. He's never had a real girlfriend and he doesn't seem the type for flings. But he was so good, so…perfect."

At that moment Kim and Remus came out of the Slytherin common room with huge smiles on their face. Lily noticed that Remus walked over to Ebony and held her hand. 

How long has this been going on…and why didn't I notice. They're so obviously involved.

Kim gave Lily a small paper bag and said, "Take it and get to work. I'll stay here and keep watch."

"Where are James and Sirius?" Lily asked.

"They decided to do some snooping around, want to see if Snape has any dirty little secrets."

Lily's looked at Remus and Ebony holding hands again. "Dirty secrets, right. Good luck then."

Kim covered the other three in the invisibility cloak and listened to their footsteps echoing in the empty hallway until they eventually faded away. She didn't expect anyone to come. Not very many who student's skipped class went to their common rooms, but when someone did come it was the last person she wanted to see- Snape.

Severus Snape was not a very popular guy. He kept to himself- mostly because he wanted to but partly because no one wanted to hang around him. As a result of this, he loved the chance to get a bit of attention. He liked it when he was noticed. But he got suspicious when a friend of his enemy started talking to him for no reason.

"Hi Severus. What are you doing out of class?" Kim tried to sound as natural as possible and she pretty much did, but Snape was smart and she didn't know if he was capable of accepting that she was talking to him or not.

" I just got out of the hospital wing. Apparently I had quite a fall. Snape sounded angry but looked tired and somewhat embarrassed.

"Oh, that's a shame. You've missed out on class."

"I don't need class to know stuff. I'm already working at an advanced seventh year level."

"I heard you failed transfiguration." Kim said snapping out of her fake kindness.

"I knew you were up to something. Don't talk to me muggle lover."

"Muggle lover? I don't know any muggles."

"You're friends with Longbottom and Guthrie and that awful Lily Evans."

"They're not muggles." Kim blocked Snape as he tried to walk towards the door. She was about the same height as him so she looked straight at his eyes as he spoke. She noticed that they lit up a bit when he spoke.

"Evans and Guthrie are filthy mudbloods and Longbottom might as well be, with his mudblood mother and muggle loving father."

"You're very judgemental for a guy with no friends. But maybe that has something to do with having no friends in the first place."

"Just fuck off will you." Snape shoved her aside and muttered the password. Kim followed him into the common room, desperate to stop him.

"Wait Severus. I need to tell you something." Kim yelled loud enough for James and Sirius to hear.

"What?" Snape hissed turning around to face her. She stepped towards him, accepting what she had to do to save her friends from a month of detention. In the next couple of second she had taken a few more steps towards him and kissed him on the mouth.

Kissing Snape was like kissing an animal. Kim had to keep her mind blank just to stop herself from gagging. His breath was disgusting. Kim didn't think he'd brushed his teeth in a month. He didn't move his mouth but Kim noticed that his eyes were closed and he was making soft noises that indicated to her that he was enjoying himself. 

He moved closer to her so his greasy hair fell against her face. Kim had had enough and pulled away. As she did, she heard a voice from the direction of the boys dorms.

"I never thought you'd ever be kissed by a girl Snivelfreak, but then, I bet you didn't think you'd die before you had a chance to get a life."

Snape ignored Kim who was now spitting into a tissue and looked at James face. He had never seen so much anger in his eyes. Sirius stood behind him and was looking down at the ground.

Could he seriously want to kill me? There is only one thing that could make him that angry.

"Well, Potter, you finally figured it out. You finally discovered that I was having an affair with your precious Lily. You can kill me, but I can only hope that she's told you about how bad you are in bed and how she comes to me almost every night so I can give her what she's been missing out on. But by all means, kill me, she's only going to come after you."

**A/N I love the next chapter, its worth reading and will be posted in the next couple of days once I've typed it up so keep an eye out for it.**


	17. Snape's Box

A/N this chapter starts place before the last one ended but ends the same time as the other one. If that hasn't confused you then read on. And if it has confused you read on coz I like this chapter.

**Chapter 17**

Snape's box 

James closed the door after Kim and joined Sirius, who was looking through Snape's drawers.

"Hey, do these look familiar?" Sirius asked, pulling a yellowing pair of underpants from under Snape's bed. James burst out laughing and grabbed the undies from Sirius. He threw them onto another bed and turned back to Sirius, who was now holding a blue satin bra.

"I didn't know Snape was a C cup." Sirius joked and started laughing. 

James didn't laugh.  "Now that is familiar." He looked at the bra with wide eyes, as Sirius doubled over with laughter. "It's Lily's."

"Why would Snape have Lily's bra?" Sirius asked, still laughing but now sitting up.

"You're right." James said, unconvincingly. "It's just the same style and the right size. It's probably his Mum's!" He added, joining in the laughter.

"Jackpot!" Sirius had pulled out a small wooden box with a small gold lock and was pulling out his wand. "_Alohamora_."

The lock opened with a small click and Sirius began to pull out scraps of parchment which were covered with small, messy writing.

James remembered Lily saying that you could know a lot about a person by their writing. This was definitely true when it came to Snape.

"Poetry!" Sirius laughed, reading the parchment quickly.

"Give it here." James said, grabbing a pile and sitting on the bed. He looked through the papers until he suddenly burst out, "Holy shit! He wrote a poem about me!"

Sirius looked up at James. "What does it say? Oh James, oh James. I want you in my bed. I make love to you but only in my head…" He began laughing again but eventually looked back at James to find out what the poem said.

"_You don't deserve the love_

_You don't deserve the glory_

_No one cares about me_…"

"You got that right." Sirius muttered.

James held back his laughter and continued.

"_Because they're listening to your story_

_You fly high above us all_

_As we stand on the ground_

_People seem to hear you_

_When you don't make a sound_

_Yet no one wants to realise_

_No one wants the truth_

_They want colourful lies and not_

_The ugly, darkening proof_

_You're nothing really special_

_And I refuse to lie_

_I'll finally make the truth come out_

_And you will finally die._"

James' mouth dropped and he stared down at the paper. "He's gonna kill me? That's not good."

"Well it's better than him loving you. Listen to this one and thank Merlin it's not called James, my love. It's just called my love.

"_I had a dream of you last night_

_I wish you'd dream of me_

_Dreaming of me instead of him_

_I wish you'd long to be_

_In my dream and in my heart_

_Making love to me_

_But your stupid, childish heart_

_Refuses to believe_

_So he and you, a waste of love_

_For all the world to see_

_And he will never let you go_

_Set you're heart free_

_It's my duty, as your true love_

_To listen to your plea_

_If you and I dreamed together_

_All would agree_

_That love is special only if_

_It's shared with you and me._"

James shuttered. "Poor girl."

"Or guy. Listen to this one. It doesn't even rhyme.

"_Your hands_

_Gentle and small_

_Your eyes_

_Green as spring_

_Your hair_

_Red as a ruby_

_Your lips _

_How I long to kiss_

_Your breasts_

_I long to touch_

_Your voice_

_To hear within my ear_

_Your heart I already love_

_Your love in his heart_

_I am alone_

_His hands _

_Held on tight to yours_

_His eyes _

_Locked on you_

_His hair _

_Messy and black_

_His lips_

_Meet with yours_

_His breast_

_Fake bravery_

_His voice_

_Whispers words to you_

_His heart _

_In love with you_

_His love_

_In your heart_

_I am forever alone."_

Sirius began laughing again, but stopped when he noticed the look on James' face. "What's wrong Prongs?"

"How many green-eyed red-haired girls do you know that are going out with messy, black-haired guys?"

Sirius caught onto what James was hinting. "Oh, maybe this bra is Lily's after all."

"I would say definitely." James had pulled out a small, diary-like book and was looking through it. Sirius looked down and noticed that all the pages began with the words _Dear Lily…_ He pulled the book out of James hands and began reading aloud.

"_Dear Lily, _

_Today I went to the owlery. It has a perfect view of the spot that you spend your time when you want to be alone. If only you knew you were not alone and I was there with you- in your heart."_

He flipped through the pages and started reading again. "_Dear Lily, You bumped into me today and didn't even stop. I didn't think you even knew I was there. Then I found out that you were with…HIM._

_I thought you hated him…but maybe it was all a charade. Maybe if I start to be rude like that, like him, you will love me too."_

He turned to the most recent entry. "_Dear Lily, I had another dream last night. It was of that day last year. The day you stood up for me. Except after you left, I went after you. I told you that I was sorry for calling you names and that I loved you. You said that you'd always known of my love for you and that you loved me too. We then made love on the grass outside the castle and all could see our love._

_You then stood up and told the watching people that you would love me forever and you would do anything for me. To prove it, you went back to James Potter and sliced his throat. You then covered your naked body in his blood and made love to me again."_

Anger was burning in James' eyes but Sirius read the last few lines. "_Please tell me you love me. I know you do, but you keep pretending to love him."_

James opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a shout from the common room.

"Wait Severus. I need to tell you something." It was Kim.

James stood up and hissed, "I'm gonna kill the little shit. I really, really want him to die."

Sirius stared for a moment and then nodded. He knew he couldn't convince James not to and also wanted to hurt Snape.

They made their way to the common room and to their surprise saw Kim and Snape kissing.

I didn't know she would go that far to stop us from being caught. We really owe her…does Snape have a boner? Sirius thought.

James started to speak just as Kim pulled away.

"I never thought you'd ever be kissed by a girl Snivelfreak, but then, I bet you didn't think you'd die before you had a chance to get a life."

Snape ignored Kim who was now spitting into a tissue and looked at James face. He had never seen so much anger in his eyes. Sirius stood behind him and was looking down at the ground.

"Well, Potter, you finally figured it out. You finally discovered that I was having an affair with your precious Lily. You can kill me, but I can only hope that she's told you about how bad you are in bed and how she comes to me almost every night so I can give her what she's been missing out on. But by all means, kill me, she's only going to come after you."

Thanks for the reviews… 

**Littoxkigga- I'm hoping my end will be a happy one (even though they eventually die)**

**Droplets of hope- I did suck! I think I've improved too. (Ps, they're in 6th year and Kim and Frank are in 7th)**

**Alyssa-farrell- thanks I love my story too.**

**Lady of Masbolle**

**Emogoohome**

**Champtennis- I can relate to it too, perhaps too well. Its very modern and Aussie which is all I know.**

**Boo26- Of course I knew that!!!!!**


	18. Virginity Part One

**A/N My computer hates my guts and is not letting me upload this chapter so I'm trying to see if it will upload if it isn't as long. This is why I have made part 1 and part 2. Hopefully it works. If the lengths of my chapters decrease in the future, you will know the reason. This chapter is a continuation of both chapter 16 and 17.**

**Chapter 18 (Part 1)**

**Virginity**

Sirius and Kim stared at James with shocked faces. James remained expressionless for a moment until a smile appeared on his face.

"You're full of shit. I probably wouldn't have believed you anyway, but you just gave yourself away." He paused and looked around at the three staring faces, looking at him with suspense. "Lily wouldn't know how I was in bed, Snivellus. I've never had sex with her." He paused again. "And neither have you."

It was now Snape's turn to smile. "You're kidding yourself if you think she's a virgin, Potter."

"Oh, she's not. But you are."

"And always will be." Kim added.

Snape searched his mind for something to say, but there was nothing, so James spoke again.

"So I'm not gonna kill you for wanting my girl, I'm not going to kill you for hating me and I'm not going to kill you for the shit you just tried to pull." His smile turned to an angry sneer as he pulled out his wand. "I'm going to kill you because you don't deserve to live. You're disgusting. You make me sick."

"And by the look of things, you make Kim sick too." Sirius added as he pulled out his own wand and walked towards Snape.

Snape, who had remained still and silent, tried to use the element of surprise by making a sudden grab for his wand. Before his hand had even reached the pocket of his robe, however, Sirius had raised his arm and punched him in the face. Snape grabbed his cheek in pain, but Sirius wasn't deterred. He kicked Snape's ankle so he fell over and then kicked him again, this time harder and in the stomach. Snape let out a moan. Sirius reached down and grabbed his opponent by the neck. Sirius was bigger and stronger than the scrawny Snape and could lift him easily. He pushed him up against the wall and glared at him. 

Snape mustered up some strength to say. "You're just as bad as me Potter. First you get your girlfriend to hex me and then you get your mate to almost kill me before you finish me off. Be a man Potter."

"Physical fighting isn't my style. I prefer to use magic." Pointing his wand at Snape, James opened his mouth, ready to let leash the tirade of curses flowing through his mind. He was silenced, however, when a voice sounding strangely like Lily's spoke up from the part of his mind he had learnt to ignore- his conscience. "But I agree that it should be fair. Friday night, on the Quidditch Pitch, midnight. Bring your wand." James started walking towards the door but turned to Snape who was still pinned against the wall by Sirius. "But if you go anywhere near Lily, if I even hear you speak her name, I can guarantee that it will be anything but a fair fight." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the book he and Sirius had been reading. He threw it across the room where it landed neatly in the fireplace and began to burn slowly. Sirius pulled him back off the wall and hurled him to the ground. Snape watched as Kim and Sirius left the room. He waited until the door closed behind them before limping over to the fire and pulling the book out, burning his hands in the process. It was too late, the book was no longer there and was just a pile of burnt paper that was turning to ashes in his hands.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lily and James were walking along the edge of the Forbidden Forest. It was late at night and the soon-to-be-full moon was lighting the path for them. When they got to the tree James was looking for, they ventured into the forest. It immediately became dark but James knew the way well and after only a few minutes they reached a well-lit clearing. James transfigured a leaf into a large blanket and laid it out for Lily to sit on. He sat beside her as they continued their conversation.

"So are you sure Frank is going to be alright? Remus doesn't need our help or anything?" Lily asked leaning back on her elbows.

"Moony will be fine. It's best if we stay out of the way and he should know the right entrance by tomorrow and we can do the whole rescuing thing then. Right now it's just you and me." James smiled at his worrying girlfriend. 

"I like it when it's just us." Lily's green eyes were brighter in the moonlight. James couldn't stop staring into them.

"Me too." He decided that it would be worth stopping the staring if they started kissing, so he leaned over her and kissed her. A few minutes later, she was moving him backwards to get a better position, so she could look down at his face when they paused for breath. Normally she loved seeing his care-free face looking back at her, but as she opened her eyes, she saw a troubled look, she sat up.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He lied.

"I know something's wrong. Just tell me." 

"I don't really like talking about this…" He knew he couldn't keep anything from her, and if he didn't ask it would rile him forever. "Snape said something…I don't even know why it's bothering me…but…well…are you a virgin?"


	19. Virginity Part Two

**Chapter 18 (Part 2)**

"Snape said something to you about my sex life?" Lily looked confused but continued. "Um, well the answer is…no. I'm not a virgin. But it was only once, last holidays. Remember how I was talking about my parents yelling at me all summer?" James nodded. "Well, it was because of that. Well not exactly because…it's a long story."

"We have all night."

"Okay. Well it was a few weeks into the holidays and I was walking around to get away from my family. They were really getting on my nerves. So I walked to this little park down the road. While I was there this guy, Nathan, came up and introduced himself. He was pretty nice so I was talking to him for a while and the he asked me out. I really wanted to see him again so I said yes. I didn't want him calling my house so I made arrangements to meet him at the park the next day. So the next day we met up and we went to the pictures. We had a really great time and decided to see each other again. So we did. Everyday that summer we went out and everyday we had a great time. One day Nathan invited me to a party at his friend's house. I really wanted to go so I snuck out that night and met him at his house and we went to the party. Muggle parties are just like Wizard parties and we had a lot to drink and all the dancing and drinking kind of took its effect and soon we were locked in a bedroom and…well that's how I lost my virginity. I got in trouble later that morning when I snuck back into me room where my sister Petunia was up waiting for me so she could dob me in. Of course, my parents blamed Hogwarts because if I had gone to a 'normal school' none of this would have happened."

She sat in between his legs and leant her head on his shoulder. "What about you? How did you lose it?"

"Truth is I haven't." James replied honestly. Lily had gotten to know James so well that she could tell when he was lying. He wasn't.

"What? James Potter, a virgin? I never would have guessed. I would have sworn you were the most experienced guy in school. Well, maybe after Sirius."

"Well its not like I haven't been…intimate with any girls, its just that I've never loved them enough to…make love."

"You surprise me every single day James. It's amazing. I can't wait until…"

"Can't wait until what?"

"Well how long do you plan on staying a virgin?"

"I planned on waiting until I fell in love, but now it's just a matter of timing."

Lily smiled and remembered her dream. She gave a little laugh. "Anyway, I believe we were talking about Frank."

"You can't just change the subject now." James gasped.

"How do you think he's holding up?"

"That was the most romantic thing I've ever said and your blowing me off for Frank!"

"What did you think I would be blowing?" Lily giggled.

James moved so he could kiss Lily and she immediately stopped her giggles. They went back to their comfortable position and kissed some more. Just as James was thinking about taking Lily's shirt off, she pulled away and sat up. 

"Did you know that Ebony had sex with Sirius?"

"Yeah. He told me about it."

"Well did you know that Ebony had sex with Remus?"

"Yeah, Sirius told me about it. He said it was obvious, but I couldn't tell."

They soon went back to the kissing and James spent the rest of the night wanting to take Lily's shirt off, though he never did.

~*~*~*~*~*~~*

Back at the castle, Remus extinguished the fire from under the cauldron and pulled a mirror out from his pocket. He had finally worked out which entrance was the right one.

~*~*~*~*

There are many, many thank-you's to express, so here goes…

Sarah L- for finally helping me with this chapter! Great work too, however, I noticed all the howevers!

To all my loyal reviewers:

Lady of Masbolle- I'm dedicating this chapter to your addiction!

Kay Glee- MY 100TH REVIEWER!!!!!!!!!!!! (I know where you live too- about 700 metres that way--)

Sarah L- the slow reader!

Champtennis- do not worry- Frank is going to be okay…until Voldemort kills him.

GryfindorGoddess28- yes Snape is messed up, and of course his ass will be kicked

Kelly- I hope this chapter makes you feel better about Lily.

Droplets Of Hope- My friend Kim, who the character Kim is based on will love you forever.

DeoxyriboNucleic Acid- you don't have to cut your throat, I saved your life,

Me- no, not me, Me! Hope you enjoyed it

Miss-mags-ak- more is here and plenty more to come.

Littoxkigga- it's alright to talk to fictional characters. No wait, stop talking and start writing more of remember me!!!!!

Arwen of Rivendell- hope it all worked out for you.

Kim- you do know people can read the reviews and you're telling them about future chapters?

Tavari- you too should not be reading this right now. GET BACK TO WRITING!!!

Sedated-1 and Alyssa Farrell- stick with L/J fics, I love them! If you like my fic, read the last marauder by four eyed snail, it's my fav MWPP/Marauder fic.

Stay tuned for the BIG James and Snape fight…if you think you can handle it!!!!


	20. Motivation

**Chapter 19 ****  
Motivation **

James, Sirius and Remus closed the library door behind them and removed the invisibility cloak. Remus rushed down an isle in the restricted section and looked at a book entitled _Do Not Read_. It was glowing green.

"This is the wrong one so this must be the right one." He said, pointing to a book with _Nicht Sie Lesen _printed in silver writing. He tapped the book with his wand and whispered some words in a foreign language. James thought it sounded German but didn't understand what he'd said. What ever Remus had muttered had worked. The book jumped off the shelf and landed on the floor. It then turned into what looked like a trap door. Remus opened it and was about to jump it when Sirius grabbed his shoulder.

"Stay here, Mooney. If something goes wrong down there, I want you up here figuring out how to get me back." Sirius gave Remus a pat on the back and he took a step back. He watched as Sirius and James jumped down into the dark hole and waited anxiously. He was relieved when the top of a ladder appeared at the opening and Sirius's head followed several minutes later. He was carrying Frank over his shoulder. Remus reached out to help him and soon Frank was resting against a bookshelf, eyes barely open. James then climbed out of the hole, carrying with him a pile of books and papers. He put them down and closed the trap door. As soon as he did, the door turned back into the book and disintegrated, but when they looked up at the shelf it's silver letters shone down on them. James wondered vaguely if they should add this room to their map.

"I'm so hungry." Frank groaned. Remus conjured up a plate of food and fed it to the weak Frank. Soon Frank had gained enough energy to stand up so they draped the invisibility cloak over him and told him to go to his dorm.

"We'll see you tomorrow." Remus assured him. They listened carefully to his footsteps and when they could no longer hear they turned around and went in the opposite direction towards the owlery. They had decided to go ahead with the party. It was unfair for Frank to go through all he had been through for no reason.

When they reached the owlery, Sirius attached a letter to his black owl and said, "Take this to Renord Fillyrink." The large owl flew from the owlery and into the sunrise. The Marauders watched it fly further and further away until it was nothing more than a speck in the distance.

Remus and James turned and began to leave but Sirius remained where he was standing, staring out at the morning sky.

"Padfoot, you coming?" James asked. He didn't reply. "Padfoot." James said loudly and Sirius jumped and turned to the staring Remus and James.

"Oh, sorry. In my own world." He paused. "Kim is a really good friend."

"Yeah, she is." James agreed.

"She kissed Snape. Was that for us?"

James and Remus exchanged looks. They knew what was going through Sirius' head. He had just realised what they had realised a long time ago.

"Remind me to thank her." Sirius said and joined his friends as they walked out the door.

"I think you'll remember, Padfoot." Remus said with a smile.

"We owe her big time." James said with a nod. "Lets take her out tonight, Shout her some butter beers or something."

"Can't." Remus said. "Wolf night tonight."

"Yeah. Well some other time for sure." Sirius said, perhaps a little too enthusiastic. James gave a laugh and thought a happy thought. He and his friends had not only developed a relationship so strong that they were like brothers, but now they were forming relationships with girls. Real relationships…and he had been first.

That night, Lily walked down to the Whomping Willow with James, Sirius and Peter. She stayed there for a few hours after they had joined Remus. She was just sitting, thinking. Thinking of James mostly. And what he had said. He had pretty much told her he loved her. She didn't know if she had the courage to say that to him. She thought she did…love him, but she didn't feel right when she said it out loud.

"I love James Potter. James, who I love…James loves me…" It sounded so much better. "James loves me. Do I love James?"

She watched the clouds as they covered the moon and then moved across the dark, grey sky and let out a sigh. She did love him, but she didn't want him to know just yet. She didn't want to tell him until the perfect moment.

So for the next few days, while James concentrated on his Quidditch match against Hufflepuff, Sirius concentrated on how he would cause havoc after they won the Quidditch game, Remus concentrated on catching up with his work and Peter concentrated on standing upright, Lily found herself not being able to concentrate on anything…except James. She knew she would have to tell him soon or she never would. She just needed the motivation.


	21. Duel of Love Part One

Chapter 20 (Part One) Duel of Love 

Friday night was upon James sooner than he would've liked. He was very good at acting cool and to everyone around him he seemed confident that he would win the fight against Snape. So when he stood before Snape at midnight, he continued his charade. He looked behind him at Sirius and Remus who were holding their wands, just in case. He gave them a smile and then turned back to Snape.

"James!" He heard a girls voice yell. He turned to see Kim jogging towards him. When she reached him, she gave a little laugh. "I thought you might be nervous so I decided to tell you this now. You know those hilarious insults that resulted in Lily hurting him rather badly?"

"Yeah." James said with a sense of bitterness in his voice.

"Well, he didn't come up with them."

"Really? Who did?"

"That fifth year Slytherin Laura. She's been failing potions so she bribed Snape. He does her assignments and helps her cheat in tests and she gives him some killer insults and tells a couple of other girls that he's good in bed."

James tried to control his laughter. Snape was really desperate. It was hilarious. He thanked Kim and watched as she went over to stand with Sirius and Remus.

"Stop delaying, Potter. I don't plan on letting you live for much longer."

"How many nights homework did you have to do for fifth year sluts to get that one, fuckwit?"

Snape looked shocked, as if he couldn't believe anyone would know about his secret. James had found out far too many of his secrets and he was soon going to run out.

James watched as Snape extended his wand and held out his own. A green light joined the two and they both watched with nervous eyes. As soon as the light disappeared, Snape yelled out, "_Sredicio_!"

But James had already ducked and rolled out of the way, expecting that Snape would start with some sort of painful curse. 

"_Impedimenta!_" James said coolly and Snape was knocked backwards onto the ground.

"_Stupefy._" Snape coughed. James didn't even have to duck as it flew off into the stands, over ten metres from his head.

As soon as Snape had got to his feet, James yelled "_Colloportus._" And Snape was on the ground again. "_Imperio._"

James felt the effects of the Imperious curse take place in his brain.

_You know how to use the suicide spell, use it. _ A voice remarkably like Snape's sounded in his head, _just kill yourself. You have nothing to live for anyway._

"Fuck off, how stupid do you think I am?" James asked, he had snapped out of it quickly, but not before Snape had yelled out another curse and James' legs went numb as he fell over. "_Tarantallengra._"

Snape began to dance, seeming more co-ordinated than he ever was in real life. James heard the laughter from Sirius and found the strength to sit up and call out, "_Losfvantis!"_

Snape let out a painful cry as boils covered his face. James slowly got to his feet and yelled, "_Merillia._" An orange liquid spurted from his wand and covered Snape, who had dropped his wand. James gave him a kick in the stomach and he took a few steps back. James kept walking forward and Snape kept walking back until he was backed up against the stands. James had said he was not into physical violence but decided to forget about it just this once. He punched Snape in the face and watched him sink to the ground. He stood above him and pointed his wand at Snape's throat.


	22. Duel of Love Part Two

**Chapter 20 (Part Two)**

"You know what, Potter?"

"No, but I'm sure you're gonna tell me Snivellus. Before you do let me guess, it's not written by you. You're a faker and I liar and I don't know why no one else has ever bothered to do this before."

"Actually its about Lily." 

James kicked Snape hard in the side and then leant down to hold his throat. "I told you not to talk about her. You don't even have the right to think about her, especially in the way that you do."

"Oh, but you do? You're no better than me Potter. Why should you get to love her and I have to suffer?" Tears were welling in Snape's eyes but James didn't let go, he didn't stop him from continuing either. "Why do I have to write my feelings down in a book and you get to walk around school holding her hand and blowing her kisses when you're not near her. I bet you dream about her. Well, so do I. The only difference is that your dreams probably don't involve blood and guts and death. They only involve her. Why does she like you when she should love me? Why?"

James stood up and pointed his wand at him. "Your sob story isn't going to help you. It's probably just another lie. An exchange for more lies. You're not smart enough to cheat death. _Avada K-_"

"Do you think she'll still love you when she finds out you're a killer? Do you think she'll be able to hold your hand when she knows you've taken a life with it? She'll never, ever love you now."

"That's not true." James turned around and saw Lily with her head down. He went to her. She looked up at him; eye's filled with tears that were streaming down her face. "I will never ever stop loving you James. I will never hate you for loving me."

Snape stood up. "You're going to be with this fool, even when he had every intention of killing me just because I love you?"

"You love me? That's disturbing. You wouldn't even know what love is."

"And you do?"

Lily looked back at James whose eyes hadn't left he since he had first seen her. "Yes. I do." She closed her eyes and kissed James' lips with more passion than she had ever felt before. Snape sunk to the ground again and closed his eyes.

"Now that's how you kiss." Kim's voice came from above him. "You don't even have a chance." She gave a laugh and began to walk away. Sirius was close behind her and then Remus tapped James on the shoulder and the three of them walked away also. Snape watched them make their way along the edge of the Forbidden Forest and stood up.

_Where were they going? Why weren't they going back to the castle?_

He decided to follow them, returning to his old ways of secrets and sneakiness quickly.

Snape stopped him spying when he reached the hut of the Groundskeeper. He looked through the window and watched as Lily dabbed at a cut on James cheek gently and then kissing the skin near it. He then looked at Sirius making jokes to Kim, Remus and Hagrid and he realised that he was never in love with Lily. He never hated James and Sirius. He was jealous. All that he was feeling was jealousy because they were all happy, and he was alone.

#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#


	23. The Love of Sirius

**I will have to slow the fics down for a while. I'm swamped with school work and half yearly's are coming up. I'll try to write as much as I can, but school must come first (Are you proud of me Kim?). I've almost finished the next chapter but there might be a wait for the one after. SO ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN!!!**

**Chapter 21**

**The love of Sirius**

Sirius sat in class for the last time that term. James, Remus and Lily had been called away from class for a meeting with Professor Dumbledore and Sirius was left with Peter. Peter was fast asleep as Professor Binns droned on at the front of the classroom.

Sirius didn't bring much to class, a quill, perhaps a book or some parchment, but today being the last day, he brought nothing. He reached across to Jim's desk and grabbed his parchment and a quill.

"Thanks dude." He whispered and began to write on the parchment.

_Stuff to do before the party._

He started.

_Invitations- who to invite, who to keep out (Snape, Slytherin's, except Kim), how to keep it a secret from those not invited._

_Cleaning up afterwards, not me!_

_Supplies, where can we get enough for everyone? House elves, Honeydukes, BYO?_

_Admissions fee? Definite chance of profit- especially if we supply the food and drinks. Free entry for Marauder's, Kim, Lily, Frank, etc?_

_Theme? That would be fun._

_Possible themes: knickers and socks, wet t-shirt, girls in bikini's, the animal inside (one for Mooney)_

Sirius wrote for the rest of the hour. Soon his writings had moved from the party to writing about Kim.

Ways to thank Kim… 

_How can we possibly thank her enough? _

_Where do I start?_

_Kim, _

_I've been thinking about your sacrifice and we are all forever in your debt. _

_Meet me outside the Muggle Studies classroom in the third floor corridor._

_Ten on the dot…don't be late._

          Sirius 

He tore around the note and folded up the parchment. Pointing his wand out the open window, he whispered "Accio Owl." The class erupted in laughter as a disgruntled owl came zooming in and landed on Sirius' desk. He pulled a few owl treats out of his pocket and the owl seemed to forgive him. Once he had made sure that Professor Binns had not noticed the presence of the owl, Sirius instructed it to take the letter to Kim, who was outside enjoying her Care of Magical Creatures lesson in the cold weather. 

He then returned Jim's quill and continued in his bored state, waiting for the day to end.

~*~*~*

At ten o'clock that night, Sirius, James, Remus, Lily and Ebony made their way to the third floor corridor. On their way they saw Frank walking with Head Girl Kirstin Kent.

"Hey Frank." James called. "We're going to have a bit of a…celebration tonight, A bit of a thank-you to Kim for helping us out. Wanna join us?"

Frank looked at Kirstin and then back at James. "Sorry mate, bit busy tonight. Maybe some other time."

"Oh, well have fun!" James said, perhaps to enthusiastically as Frank and Kirstin walked away. 

"Hows he holding up?" Ebony asked.

"Surprisingly well…" Lily started.

"Thanks to Kirstin." James finished.

Hogsmeade was beautiful. Snow fell on the old fashioned buildings making the town look as though it had been painted for a fairy tale. James held Lily tightly as he led the group up the hill towards a small, run-down house. Remus gave a moan. He had just spent four days in that shack and it was the last place he wanted to be to celebrate the end of the term. 

"I thought we'd be going the Three Broomsticks." He sighed.

"Nup, too many teachers go there. We might get caught." Sirius muttered, attesting his dislike for teachers.

"We should have gone the other way." James said. "But we don't want any unwanted…Snape's snooping around. He already knows where the entrance is but we can't let him find out how to get in."

"Yeah. I don't think our memory charm skills are good enough to erase his memory of the same thing twice." Sirius joked.

"Well I feel guilty for telling him in the first place. And I didn't even go through with the damn thing." James sighed.

"Why do you feel guilty? I'm the one that opened my damn mouth…" He shook his head angrily.

The three girls looked at each other with confused faces and decided to change the conversation to a better topic.

"So the party will be great now Franks got the room of Requirement all set up." Lily said as they approached the door of the shack. Remus pulled a key out from his pocket and opened the lock. 

"It'll be great." James exclaimed. "Mooney's perfected the invitation charm so no one uninvited shows up and Fillyrink has the whole distraction thing worked out."

"What's he doing?" Ebony asked.

"Well he wouldn't tell us but I think we've figured it out." Sirius said with a ridiculously happy grin on his face. James pulled a piece of parchment out of his bag and handed it to Ebony. She lit some candles with a wave of her wand and began to read aloud.

"_Do you know what your students are doing now? Research in many European schools has proved that teachers have little if not zero control over what their students do when they are not in class. This seminar has been successful with wizarding schools in Australia and New Zealand and is run by the most advanced Witches and Wizards. If you care about the welfare of your students, please consider…_blah, blah, blah…"

"That's brilliant!" Kim said with a laugh. "Are they going?"

"They sure are. And they're leaving Frank and Kirstin in charge." Sirius said as he took out the list he had written. James snatched it from him.

"I didn't know you could write!" He read the list began to laugh.

"Well I wouldn't say write, more like…jot. I was really bored." Sirius muttered and grabbed the list before James could read the last few lines.

"What's up with Frank and Kirstin? Are they getting rather…close?" Kim said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, they've been shagging each other for ages." Sirius said nodding, glad of the change of subject.

"How can you always know these things?" James asked as he lay out a rug and began unpacking the food and drink from his bag.

"Well Prongs. You're good at the Quidditch thing, Mooney's good at the school thing and I have a knack for knowing stuff I'm not meant to know. I'm also a damn good-looking guy." He said glancing towards Kim who looked as though she agreed but didn't say anything.

James pulled the top off his butterbeer and raised his hand. "Here's to Kim."

Sirius lifted his own, "Who'll sacrifice a hell of a lot for her friends." He handed her a bottle and put his arm around her. "And to Frank, the only guy to get head in the head room." Remus and Ebony looked at each other and burst out laughing. 

Soon the group were sitting on the rug and enjoying the food Sirius had stolen from the house elves and talking excitedly about the upcoming party. 

After a few hours, the group had quietened down. 

"So what _were _you guys doing with Dumbledore today?" Sirius asked as he finished his butterbeer and added his bottle to the row on the table.

"Well it's a secret." James started. "So you guys can't tell anyone."

"James! Dumbledore said no one." Lily argued.

"Are you calling me a nobody?" Sirius joked. Lily ignored him.

"C'mon Lils, I can't keep anything from the Marauders so Sirius will find out anyway and he'll tell Kim and Ebony because he wasn't sworn to secrecy." James argued back.

"They won't tell anyone." Remus agreed.

"Okay, I guess they'll know soon enough anyway." Lily gave up.

"So what's going on?" Ebony asked as she reached across Remus to borrow a lighter from Sirius.

"Dippit's leaving." James replied.

"About time!" Sirius laughed.

"And Dumbledore's taking over?" Kim guessed.

"Well, yeah." Remus poured himself a glass of Odgen's Firewhisky. "But that's not even the best bit."

"Yeah, why did you guys get trusted with this big secret? Why did I have to stay in class, bored out of my brain?" Sirius queried.

"Because Dumbledore has to select next year's Head Boy and Girl." James said with a grin. He had been imagining Sirius' reaction all afternoon, but it was much more satisfying in person.

"You're up for Head Boy?" Sirius finally managed to ask once his jaw had started working again. "We promised we'd never play practical jokes on each other."

"A Potter never lie…to his friends, at least." 

"Then how'd you manage to pull this one off?"

"Apparently I have potential. If I did the homework and assignments and stuff, I could be smart. Well, at least Dumbledore thinks so."

"Smart? I'd like to see the day Prongs." Sirius laughed.

"Yeah it wouldn't matter though. As if I could beat Mooney at Head Boy."

Nobody noticed Remus's silence. He was a modest guy, unlike his two best friends, and usually stayed out of conversations about himself.

"And Lily. Head Girl!" James exclaimed excitedly. His girlfriend blushed.

"Well, obviously." Sirius said rolling his eyes at James. "She got O+ in most of her OWL's and was voted most likely to succeed in that thing we did in first year.

"Who else would get it?" Ebony asked.

"Head Girl and Lily has always been an obvious match." Kim added. 

"Damn, we're out of Butterbeer." Sirius looked around at James, Remus and Ebony drinking their Firewhiskey. "I don't know how you guys can drink that shit."

"I'm with you Ris-Ris." Kim loved making up embarrassing names for Sirius. It always made him squirm.

James looked at Remus and gave a meaningful nod.

"Prongs, did you still want to show me that thing?" Remus asked casually.

"Right you are Remus, I almost forgot. Do you want to go now?" James said, standing and helping Lily to her feet.

"Where are we going?" Sirius asked.

"You probably wouldn't like it, its kind of…"James started.

"…Educational." Remus finished.

"I think it's boring as hell, but Mooney's into all that smart person stuff. You stay here and we'll meet you later."

Remus stood and held out his hand to Ebony. "Educational? We're supposed to be on holidays."

"I think you should come, to keep Lily company." Remus said, pulling her up and pushing her out the door and leaving Sirius and Kim alone.

"How long will you guys be?" Sirius called after them.

"It'll take us a while so don't wait for us." James voice yelled back.

Sirius knew exactly what was going on.  


	24. Truth or Dare

**A huge thanks to all my reviewers. Laura Johnston (I have no idea where I'm going!), Lady of Masbolle, Typen Away, Sapphire gurl11, Sarah L, Gryffindor Goddess28, Kim (In Miss Baker speak), Devilym, Droplets of Hope, Bellaluna, Trinity Day, Dee, Amorette, Hypercaz, maroon5sin, Emily… there are so many of you and I am too lazy to thank you all. **

**BUT I have great news. I am writing a joint fic with Lizzabeth Turner!!!! It will be really good! And it will be under her name so don't forget to read it!!!!!!!!! **

**Now, on with the story!**

* * *

**Chapter 22**

**Truth or dare**

"Truth or dare." Sirius said for the hundredth time that night.

"Truth." Kim replied for the hundredth time.

"Gosh, you're boring. Okay…just let me think of a question. Ummm, I know. Will you ever pick dare instead of truth?"

"No. Your turn." Kim laughed.

The others had been gone for ages and Sirius was nervous. Yes, Sirius Black was nervous about a girl. But this wasn't just a girl. She was his lifelong friend. They'd never been very close in their childhood, but they often found themselves at boring functions together. They would find a private space and spend hours pretending they were somewhere else. The moon, the beach, the playground. They pretended they were at places any normal child would want to be, but they were eventually found and dragged out by their parents who wanted then to meet some relative or old family friend.

Then Kim went to Hogwarts and Sirius was left alone. The first few months of functions he found himself sitting alone, away from the boring adults.

One night it all changed. This night he was feeling particularly bored. This night there were more wizards in one building than he'd ever seen before. More wizards meant more children. More obnoxious, stuck-up brats who thought they could get away with anything. The kind of child Sirius' parents wanted him to be.

So Sirius found a window with plenty of space between the glass and the curtain and hid away, looking out into the darkness and watching the Hippogriff's graze in the soft moonlight. He was interrupted by a nearby scream and the sounds of running footsteps. He was surprised when a boy about his age slid in from behind the curtains and gave him a shocked look. 

"Please don't tell anyone I'm here." The boy pleaded.

"As long as you don't tell anyone _I'm _here." Sirius whispered back.

"Deal." The boy replied as they shook hands. 

The two boys crouched behind the curtain as a girls voice came closer. 

"It was that horrible boy with glasses and messy black hair. He told me that there were treats in the other room and then when I went in there a tub of honey fell on me. I was ever so embarrassed." She gave a sob.

Sirius looked over at the boy with messy black hair and glasses. He was grinning mischievously and holding back laughter.

"Don't worry Alyssa, we'll get you washed up and soon you'll forget the whole thing ever happened." An older female voice replied.

"Memory charm." Sirius muttered under his breath and the boy had to fight harder to hold back his laughter.

When the footsteps had faded away, the boy turned to Sirius and stuck out his hand again. 

"James Potter." He said reaching out and shaking hands with Sirius.

"Sirius Black. Did you really do that to Alyssa Smith?"

"Yes! It was brilliant." He chuckled.

"I've always hated her. I wish I was there to see it."

"Then lets do it again! If you're right and they put a memory charm on her, she'll be dumb enough to fall for the same thing twice. Are you in?"

So Sirius and James spent the rest of the evening playing tricks on the other children and their friendship was formed. They continued causing mischief and even when James wasn't at a function, Sirius found himself letting off dung bombs in the girls toilets or releasing his collection of cockroaches in the kitchens. He still missed Kim, but James was his first real friend, the first person to make him smile and have fun.

"Dare."

"Of cause. I dare you to say truth." 

"Damn, you finally got me." Sirius was glad to be alone with Kim, as they had been as children. It was the first time they'd ever spent more than ten minutes alone together since Kim had started Hogwarts. "Okay then, truth."

"Sirius Black." Kim paused for suspense. "Is there anything you're scared of?"

"Yes. A billion things. But this is the only truth you'll get out of me so I'll tell you something I've never told anyone before, not even Prongs. You have to promise me you won't tell anyone though."

"Of course I won't."

"Okay." Sirius thought about the words for a moment. "I'm scared shitless when I think about the future. In eighteen months, I'll be finished school. What will I do? Truth is, I don't want to leave Hogwarts. I know it seems like I hate it, but we have fun, you know?"

"Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about. But why are you telling me? Why are you telling me something you're too scared to tell James about?"

"Because James has a future. He has a million opportunities and can do whatever he wants to do, Famous Quidditch player, Auror, Teacher, rocket scientist, minister of magic. He can do all that stuff. I can't. James doesn't get that. Mooney and Lily and even fucking Wormtail don't get it. Ebony has her future all laid out for her. Jim and Jack even know what they're gonna do when they leave. I feel like you're the only one who can possibly understand me."

"Why? Because I have no future?" Kim didn't know whether to be offended or not.

"No. You're a Slytherin. Everyone accepts, and even expect for you to be…dark. But why should you be? Just because you're a Slytherin it doesn't mean you're evil. Why should I become like everyone else in my family? Just because I'm a black, it doesn't mean I want to have power. I just want to have a good time and enjoy life. I don't want to rule the world."

"Who says you have to?" Kim sat up with motivation in her voice. "Do you want to know what I have to say? Fuck them! I say stop thinking about them and start thinking about the people who want to have a good time with you. Don't think about tomorrow because what if it never comes?"

"Well if today is the last day, I guess there's something I want you to know before it ends." Sirius said feeling oddly motivated himself. "I want to see you more often than I see you now. I want you to be one of the people who have a good time with me."

"What exactly are you getting at?"

Sirius was lost for words. There was only one other way he could let her know how he felt. 

He kissed her.

It wasn't like any other kiss he had kissed. It came from the heart. It was short simple and real. When he saw how happy she looked he kissed her again and he didn't stop kissing her until his lips were sore and his tongue was no longer soft against hers. He looked into her eyes and saw how tired she was. He moved her head to rest on his chest. She fell asleep to the sound of his heart beating…beating for her.

I'm really proud of this chapter and I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you did, don't forget to send me a review telling me all about it. Just remember, the more reviews I get, the more I'm motivated to stay up all night writing more chapters.

And I'm loving the fact that I can edit on Fanfiction now. I can write this NOW!!!! WOOHOO!!!


	25. In The Cave

**Chapter 23**

**In the cave**

James, Lily, Remus and Ebony made their way stealthily up the mountainside, talking and laughing. As they walked, the two couples clung to each other for warmth in the cold weather.

"Do you guys know where you're going?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, we found this place on the last Hogwarts visit. We'd just let off some dungbombs in the Three Broomsticks and we ran up here to hide." James said with a laugh. "Good times."

When they reached a clearing in the path, Remus stepped forward and pulled back the snow covered vines hiding an opening and Lily and James walked inside, ducking slightly.

Remus looked at Ebony.

"This?" She asked uncertainly, "This is why we walked so far in the freezing cold? A cave?"

"Hey, it's not so bad, look at this." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wand and a small bag. He poured some purple sand from the bag into his hand and entered the cave. In her curiosity, Ebony followed.

"This place is dirty and cold." Ebony complained. "But at least it's not educational."

Remus sprinkled the sand on the floor in the middle of the cave. 

"Lumos Amorium." He warbled with a cheesy, shrill voice.

The room was lit up with what looked like a fire replacing the sand that previously lay on the ground.

"Faux Fire." Remus said with a grin.

"A Marauder invention." James added as he transfigured some rugs and lay them down.

"All the warmth but none of the smoke. And check this out." Remus took a step forward into the fire.

Ebony gave a cry, but the others were laughing.

"You can't be burnt. We volunteered Wormtail to do the testing for this one." Remus stepped out of the fire and sat on the spare rug. Ebony smiled and sat next to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"You guys are nuts." She sighed. "I love it."

"Well it's either crazy or boring." James's comment was avenged with a punch from Lily. 

"Are you calling me boring?"

"No." James responded immediately.

"So are you calling me crazy?"

"I'm calling you beautiful." James always found a way to be forgiven.

"I wonder how Kim and Sirius are going?" Remus deliberated.

"This better have worked." Said James, trying not to laugh at the thought; "It's their last chance to be alone together for a while."

"Why don't I invite them to my place for the holidays?" Ebony asked, "Why don't you all come? Terran's coming, so it will sure be entertaining."

"I'm in." Remus said. "I won't be wolfy until after the holidays."

"Me too." Said James. "I might have to go home for Christmas, but my parents would love to not see me."

"I would love to not see my family, but they'll bitch about my lack of family decency if I don't spend two tortured weeks pretending I'm normal."

"Suck to be you, Lils. I love my place." Ebony flourished. "We normally spend Christmas in our Australian house. It's beautiful! You would love it. Too bad you have to spend Christmas with a bunch of boring muggles."

"Thanks." Was all Lily could say.

Sensing her pain, James changed the subject. "So, Remus, are you still gonna do shit like this when you're head boy?"

"I'm not going for head boy." He responded casually.

"What?" James exclaimed. "You could miss out on so much school though. Why would you pass it up?"

"You're passing it up." Lily added.

"I don't have a chance." James retorted.

"Yes you do." Remus snapped.

"Well so do you." James snapped back.

"I know I do." He barked in reply.

"You both do." Lily interfered.

"Then why not try?" James asked Remus.

"You know why." Remus countered.

"No I don't."

"You do, you just don't know you do."

"Then why don't you confirm it for me?" James said stubbornly.

"Because it's obvious." 

"See, you guys are nuts." Ebony giggled as she pulled a Wiccapot joint out of Remus's pocket. "You're all nuts. But I want to know they answer to this too."

The three faces focused on Remus and he looked around at them. The dark, intense face or James, the sweet, concerned face of Lily and the pale, honest face of Ebony. 

"Okay, I'll tell you. I don't think I can handle it." His words were interrupted with disagreements but he gave his friends an annoyed look and they stopped. "I can barely handle school and the full moons as it is. Imagine adding the responsibilities of Head Boy to that."

"Makes sense." James agreed. "Do you reckon I should go for it?"

"Makes sense." Remus relied.

The four remained in the cave until the fire grew tired and began to yell abuses at them. When they reached the shrieking shack, the sun was exposing its first rays to the world and Sirius and Kim were asleep in each other's arms.

James looked at his watch. "OH SHIT! Train comes in ten minutes!"

The seven teenagers burst out of the entrance hall and ran to the last carriage. James, Lily, Sirius, Kim, Remus, Ebony and Peter all piled in and the carriage started to make its way to the Hogwarts express.

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I think I'll leave it there! Next chapter will be the holidays and then the long awaited party!!!!!

Thanks to my wonderful, loyal reviewers! I'm sorry Laura Johnson but I can't upload long chapters because my computer is a bitch to me and Ebony/Typen Away Ebony's (the character) parents were too busy smoking Wiccapot to socialise, she knew Sirius because she lived near him, well one of her many house's was near his.


	26. Family

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**Chapter 24   
Family**

The train ride home was fun at first. They spent their time talking about the previous semester and the next one to come. But Lily couldn't help but feel depressed. The further they were from Hogwarts, the more the feeling of dread weighed her down.

When they got to the station she felt even worse. She stepped off the train with her friends and they all ran through the barrier. The first thing Lily saw was her father looking at the group disapprovingly.

Turning back to the group she said "Bye guys, I'll see you next term."

"You could do so much better if you went to a normal school, Lilian." Andrew said sourly.

Sirius cracked his knuckles and James tensed his muscles. No one was going to speak about them like that, even if it was Lily's dad. So they fought back.

Not with fists and magic as they normally would. This fight would only be won with cunning and intelligence.

"Yes, Lilian." Remus started. "Imagine if you were prefect at a school without _us_!"

"Yeah, no offence, but you were pretty shy and average before you met us." Ebony added.

"But you have a great future now." Kim said politely.

"You probably wouldn't go as well at a muggle school." Sirius said with a fake laugh. "You're so successful at Hogwarts, and you're an interesting person. Being at a muggle school is a bit of an insult to your intelligence."

"Intelligence?" Andrew scoffed. "Let's go Lily."

Frank and Kirstin had just come through the barrier and had been listening to the conversation. Frank whispered something to Kirstin and they joined the group.

"Hello, my name is Kirstin Kent. I'm Head Girl at Hogwarts. And this is Frank, the Head Boy. Would you be Andrew Evans."

"Yes, what's it to you." He growled back.

"Well, we'd just like to congratulate you on an excellent job. You're daughter has become a fine young lady. You must have raised her well." Frank said pompously.

"Yes, and we think she'll be great next year." Kirstin smiled fakely, "I will be sad to leave our little haven of education, but I know that Lily will do a great job as Head Girl in my place."

"Oh, come on. I might not get Head Girl." Lily joined in. "Only the most prestigious and academically enhanced students become school leaders, like you two."

"Well those are qualities that you display, Lily." Frank had a look of pride on his face.

"No one else has a chance Lil." James finally spoke. "You and me could do great things." He gave a little smirk. "Great, great things."

Lily knew that he was being serious. He had finally decided that he wanted to be Head Boy.

His smirk grew. "I'll think about you, Lily. When you're hanging out with the muggles, more bored than in History of Magic, I'll be hanging out with the Wiccapot's and thinking about you. I always think about you. I want to grow old with you and have kids with you. I want to come home and see you. I want home to be where ever you are, because the only time I ever feel safe is when you're around. I want you..." He got down on his knee's and held her hand. "To marry me."

Lily gave a smile as her father spluttered behind her. He had kept a straight face the whole time and put on a very convincing act. Sirius was trying very hard not to laugh.

No one knew that most of what James had said was the complete and utter truth, but James knew that these were things that he wanted her to know and was going to tell her, one day.

"James, I've only known you for two days." Lily giggled as Andrew coughed behind her. When he heard her giggles, he sighed.

"Lets go Lily." Andrew walked away and Lily followed with her bags, grinning with hilarity.

"Lily, wait. What do think about the name Harry? Wait, there's something I have to do." James said loud enough so that Andrew would notice. He did notice and when he turned around he saw the dark haired boy put his arms around Lily and kiss her.

"Lily? Get away from him." Andrew was utterly horrified yet his eyes seemed to be distracted by James' hand moving down to touch her butt. "You, get away from her."

James pulled away and whispered. "Come with us, you don't have to go."

"See you next term James." She said sternly and walked away.

"I love you Lily Evans." He called out dramatically.

She looked back and saw his eyes, already missing her and as she turned back to follow her father, she felt a tear escape her. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to forget about him, but there was nothing she could do, she'd already fallen.

Lily and her father ignored each other for the whole drive home. When they arrived home, Lily went up to her room and got out a book. She didn't read it, just pretended to as she thought of James and how much she wanted to be with her new group of friends. It was true, they were her new friends. She had never really hung out with any of them before, except for Remus, and that was only in the library or at prefect meetings. Lily had never had as much fun as she had since she fell in love with James. She could imagine spending the rest of her life with James, but right now she was stuck in this house with people she hated and she didn't know why.

_Why am I here? I hate them, and they hate me. Why don't we just hate each other happily? Why don't I get along with my family? Why don't I belong here?_

There was a knock on the door and Linda walked in. She sat on the bed next to Lily and sighed.

_I feel a lecture is coming._

"You're father told me what happened." Linda finally said.

"What did he say happened?" Lily asked without looking up from her book.

"Are you having sex with that boy?"

"Mum! No, of course I'm not." Lily cursed James for kissing her in front of her father. "I'm not irresponsible. We kiss, but that's all. We barely even see each other alone." She decided that lying was the best option. "Neither of us want to take chances, we're too young."

Linda spent the next half an hour telling Lily the rules of dating. These included the not after dark rule, the hands off the goods rule and the third person present at all times. Lily laughed to herself at the thought of Sirius offering to be the third party and encouraging them to pretend he wasn't there.

When Linda finally left, she was replaced by Petunia.

"You have to come downstairs. Dad doesn't want you to be unsupervised. He doesn't want you to get in touch with that boy." She giggled.

"Tell him I'm busy."

"No." Petunia annoyed her until Lily finally gave up and went downstairs.

That night, dinner was almost in silence, so Lily decided to have some conversation.

"So, how has everyone been?" She asked seriously.

"Fine." Andrew snapped.

"Weather's pretty lousy."

"Uhuh." Linda mumbled.

"Why do you all hate me?"

No one answered. Lily lost her temper, she was sick of being nice.

"I try to be normal, but do you know what I've figured out? I'm not." Just as she stood up a bolt of lightning cracked across the sky. "I'm not normal and I don't want to be. I don't want to be like you. I want to be something. I can't be something when I'm stuck here pretending to be boring. I just can't."

Her family stared at her in an akward silence.

"I'm sick of pretending I belong in this family and I'm sick of the way that you always change your mind about me. At first you act all excited and happy for me, but now I don't even know what to think. Do you hate me, or do you hate what I am? Who I am." She stopped yelling as tears welled in her eyes. "This _is_ who I am. I can't change. If you can't accept what I am...I can't keep pretending to be part of this family."

Andrew stood up and crossed the room.

"Then leave." He said quietly. "We don't hate you, maybe its that we love you too much. It's time to let you be where you want to be and if thats somewhere that isn't here, maybe you should go."

"Okay." Lily remained standing where she was. She didn't expect that reaction. She didn't know what she expected, but that definitely wasn't it.

"NOW!" Andrew yelled. He marched over to the door and yanked it open. To his surprise there was a boy standing on the doorstep.

"James!" Lily cried, "You're soaking wet! How long have you been out there?"

"A while." He was shivering slightly. "I had to come. I couldn't stand being away from you." He stepped inside the house. Petunia ran up the stairs.

"Its your life Lily." Andrew said almost calmly. "You can leave here and live your life with your friends, reckless and care-free. Just remember who your famliy is."

"Mr and Mrs Evans, I have something to say." James remained looking at Lily. "I love your daughter. I want her to be happy, but she's not happy here."

"She's never been happy here." Linda stood up and joined her husband by the door. "That's why I let her go back to Hogwarts. But I don't want to lose you Lily, you're still a part of this family."

"I don't think I am. I'm not like you, I never will be. I said I didn't want to pretend so here's the truth. Famliy is where you feel you belong" Lily fought to hold her tears back. She wasn't sad but she was caught up in a wave of mixed emotions. "And I don't belong here."

Petunia came back down the stairs with Lily's bag and dropped it at her feet. "I'll really miss you Lily." She said apathetically.

"Goodbye Lilian." Andrew sighed wearily as Lily and James stepped out the door.

_So this is freedom?_

The two disappeared with a pop as they apparated to Ebony's house in Australia, leaving the small house that Lily had once called home to be with the people she now called her family.

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**Thanks to all my great reviewers. If you have read this chapter I really would love you to review and tell me exactly what you think. If you love it or hate it, please tell me why. I need to know what I'm doing wrong and what I'm doing right.**

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**And a huge thanks to Kim who was my beta reader for this chapter. Ps to Kim, I'm glad I concentrated on the schoolwork instead of fanfiction!**


	27. The House Of Wiccapot

Sorry it took so long to update but I've been busy and a few people have beta-read this chapter.

Thanks to my beta Kim who changed nothing but the spelling of Fettucine.

The song in this chapter is called the Galilee Song by Frank Anderson. Yes, it's a church song. i figured Lily's Grandmother could be Catholic.

This chapter is dedicated to one of my reviewers "A concerned reader" who needs to get a life and not get pissed off with people just because of their story summary. Don't flame me until you've actually read at least the first chapter.

The rest of my reviewers are all beautiful. Thank you for your advice and encouragement.

Now to the story...

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**Chapter 25**

**The House of Wiccapot**

Lily and James arrived in front of a gleaming white mansion. The sun was starting to share its light with the world as the couple stood at the front gate, holding hands.

"It's morning." Lily mumbled, tears still leaking from her eyes.

"We're in Australia now." James reached out and wiped Lily's cheek with his spare hand. "Are you going to be okay?"

Lily sniffed and nodded. "I'll be right. You're still all wet."

"Yeah, we should go inside."

James reached towards the gate but Lily stopped him. "How long were you at my house?"

"Almost as long as you."

"You're crazy, James."

"I wish I was crazy, but really, I'm just in love."

Lily sniffed again and managed a small smile. She wiped her eyes dry and took a deep breath. "Let's go, before you catch a cold."

"Oh, don't worry. I'm invincible."

The two walked up the path and knocked on the door. Seconds later, Ebony appeared and ushered them inside.

"Hi guys, the others are in one of the kitchens, are you hungry?" She asked, leading them up a sweeping staircase and down a hall. The house was even bigger on the inside, like most wizarding houses. It was filled with the soft glow of candles and the faint smell of Wiccapot. It was beautifully decorated, but not at all like the mansions owned by the snobs of the wizarding world.

"I just need to have a sleep." Lily said quietly.

"And I need a shower." James said, shivering.

"You've finally noticed." Ebony laughed, managing to get a smile from Lily.

At the end of the hall, Ebony opened a cupboard and pulled out two towels. "Do you remember where your room is?" She asked James.

"Not really, but I'll find it."

"Cool, there's a bathroom across the hall, but don't sing or the shower will burn you." She laughed at the look of shock on James face. "Curses came with the house, but it makes it so much more interesting."

James opened a door revealing another staircase and made his way up. Ebony closed the door and then opened it again, revealing a staircase- but not the same one. This one was going back down to the ground floor.

"Wow, this place is awesome." Lily commented, following Ebony down the stairs. "I'm definitely going to get lost though."

"Well, most of the doors and stairs know what you're thinking and take you to where you want to go. The only way you can get lost is if you want to."

At the bottom of the stairs, a tiny circular room with it walls covered in doors appeared. Three of the doors had shiny gold plaques hanging neatly by the handle. Ebony opened the one with _Lily Evans _engraved on it and led her inside.

The large room contained a massive four-poster bed with emerald green blankets and pillows and a large mahogany cupboard.

"It's pretty shitty, but all our guest rooms are."

"No, its great." Lily dropped her bag next to the bed and crossed the room. She pulled back the jade curtains that covered the glass door to the balcony and gasped. The sun was coming up over the water and it was the most beautiful sight Lily had ever laid her eyes upon. "And you live right on the beach, what a view."

"Yeah, that's pretty cool. This house definitely has the nicest views, although the country manor is great in winter. I wanted to go there, but Mum likes the weather here." Ebony sighed. "Are you sure you don't want to join us? Kim's making pavlova and Terran's making daiquiri's."

"I've had a rough night. I just need some sleep."

"Well, Wiccapot is great for rough nights."

"I'll be okay."

"See you later then. Oh, if we're asleep when you wake up, help yourself to whatever you want to eat and if you need any help, ask a maid or a house elf."

"Okay, thanks."

Ebony left the room and disappeared up the stairs. Lily opened the door leading to the balcony and stepped outside. The balcony ran along the whole back of the house and connected all of the bedrooms. She leant against the railing and watched the rest of the sunrise. The cool air blew against her damp clothes and caused her to shiver. She closed her eyes and hummed a song that her grandmother always sang to her as a child. It was strange, she could not remember her face, but remembered every note and every word of this song.

_In my memories I know _

_How you send familiar rains_

_Falling gently on my days_

_Dancing patterns on my pain_

_And I need to learn once more_

_In the fortress of my mind_

_To believe in falling rain_

_As I travel deserts dry_

She sighed and went back inside to sleep, dreaming of strangers with blurred faces all crowding around her, calling her name. Just when she is about to go crazy, a familiar face appears in the distance.

"_I love you Lily Evans."_

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Lily's eyes snapped open. She was really at Ebony's. The day before had happened and it wasn't just a cruel dream.

She got up, got changed, then started unpacking the clothes from her bag and putting them in the cupboard. There were footsteps on the balcony and a knock on the glass and then Sirius appeared.

"Hey Evans, I was hoping you'd be awake. Everyone else has crashed in the movie room." He said, sitting on the bed.

"So you guys had a good night."

"Yeah, I suppose. How are you going? Really?" Sirius didn't often show this side of himself, but Lily knew it was there.

"So, James told you."

"Well Kim guessed and he nodded, she knows things sometimes, it scares me."

"You know things too, but I suppose it's not the same. I'm okay though. It's a good thing. I just need to get on with things and not regret this."

"I know exactly how you feel, you know. No one else really does. James has great parents, sometimes I wish they were mine, Remus is lucky too. His parents are so supportive with the whole werewolf thing and the stuff he goes through. Kim is different to everyone else in her family, but she gets along with them heaps well. Ebony's so happy here. Her family is great. My family sucks. My parents are the complete opposite to your parents I suppose. They hate muggles. All this pureblood, half-breed, muggle-born shit is their life. If they met you, they would probably like you, but once they found out you were muggle-born, they'd be more likely to kill you. It's crap, I know. That's why I hate them. I hate going home to their expectations and guidelines. It's all bullshit and I don't care."

"I guess you do know what I'm going through. We have a lot in common- though it's because we're completely opposite. Regulus to you is like Petunia to me and I know you love learning, you have this kind of look in your eyes- the same that James gets before a Quidditch game."

"Fear."

"Craving. You crave knowledge and the reason you hate class is because you don't learn anything. You're more likely to learn something by breaking the rules and causing havoc. I have that same craving but I go to the library and read, whereas you…marauder."

"I do my best." Sirius stood up. "Come on. I'll make you something to eat, Kim is teaching me how to cook. I think I've got pancakes down, but I want you to test them."

Sirius had made pancakes for Lily and a maid named Alice, given Lily a tour of the abode, and began to teach Lily how to fly in the Wiccapot's underground Quidditch Pitch when James and Terran had woken up and come to find them. James kissed Lily on the forehead and then immediately jumped on a broom. He showed off a fair bit, diving and spinning and rolling in the air.

When they finally gave up and went back to the mansion, it was pouring down with rain and Kim had made scones and tea.

"It's like being back in England." Sirius laughed as he helped himself to the scones.

* * *

At about midnight, the group was bored and decided to go for a walk. They found a small park and stayed there for most of the night, swinging on the swings and sliding on the slide.

"What's it like being in Slytherin, Kim?" Terran asked as she climbed a nearby tree. "Is it scary or just the same as the other houses?"

"Well, there are the hookers who hang out at the door, they tend to get annoying. But the nightly orgies are great fun!"

"Truthfully." Lily sighed.

"Well, I don't know if it's the same because I don't know what the other houses are like. And I don't spend much time with them or in the common room. I'm either in my dorm or with my friends." Kim stopped swinging. "It kinda sucks though. You guys and all my other friends are in different houses…we have a great time but then you all go off to the Ravenclaw or Gryffindor houses and I'm bored again. That's why I study and stuff. I don't particularly find it interesting or want to do well, but it's something to do."

"That sucks." Ebony was lying on the grass with Remus. "I wish I were in Slytherin. My best customers are Slytherin's and it would make things easier."

"Well, I did have some Slytherin friends, but they were all older than me. Now I'm in seventh year, they're all out in the real world and probably all forgotten me. Well, I suppose not all of them." She added.

James slid down the slide that he was sitting at the top of and walked to the tree that Terran was in. He pulled a switchblade out of his pocket, the one Sirius had given him in their second year at Hogwarts that could undo any knot and unlock any lock. He began to write something in the bark of the tree. Terran jumped from the branch and landed next to him.

"J.P. loves L.E. Very original." She said as James walked to another tree and began writing again.

"Marauder's Rule." He announced with a grin.

They spent the next week having a great time. They were on the beach whenever the weather was good, for the first few days they slept for only a few hours, but then found themselves sleeping as much as possible. They played Quidditch on the underground pitch, played plenty of pranks on each other, played pranks on the maids, played pranks on Ebony's older brother Bernard, played pranks on Muggles who dared to walk the Wiccian beach.

They had so much fun that time sped up and completely passed them by. It didn't stop until Christmas Eve.

"What's the date today?" Lily asked sleepily as she lay on the beach with her friends, watching the sky darken and the sun lower.

"20th." Sirius muttered.

"You said that yesterday." Kim laughed.

"Well if I stick with the same date, I'm bound to get it right some day."

"What's tomorrow?" Ebony asked sitting up.

"Shit, tomorrows Christmas." Kim jumped up.

"Lets go shopping." Ebony led her friends back to the house and through a secret passageway that took them too a massive 24 hour shopping centre.

They split up and shopped until they dropped onto Ebony's ten seater couch hours later. Sirius had been there for a lot longer than the others. He was either a very good shopper or had given up prematurely.

They all went to bed early except for Lily and James who went for a walk on the beach. The moonlight was strong and the stars were twinkling happily at them.

"Do you know what I'll miss the most about this place?" James asked as he gripped Lily's hand and looked up at the sky.

"The Quidditch pitch?" Lily nestled her head into James shoulder as they reached the end of the beach.

"No, the stars. They seem so much more alive. They look real." He stopped walking and turned to Lily.

"They are real, James." Lily giggled. "Don't you pay attention in Astronomy?"

"No. I was always too busy thinking about making a fool of the teacher to think about learning. I've always said that to learn is to…"

Lily cut him off. "I'm scared James. I'm scared to death."

"Of the stars?" Lily let go of James' hand and stepped back.

"I spent half my savings on Christmas presents. It wasn't until after that I realised that I have an education to pay for. When summer comes, I'll have to pay for somewhere to live."

"Well living on the street isn't bad and the price is rather reasonable."

"James, this is my future. Can't you be as serious about this as you are about the stars or Quidditch?"

"What am I supposed to say? Sorry your life sucks, hope you get over it some day."

"Tell me that everything will be okay. Let me know that I can make it. Promise me that this whole thing will get better." Lily fought back her tears.

"But what if everything won't be okay and you don't make it. What if everything only gets worse? I can't tell you something that I don't know and I can't lie to you, even if it's what you want to hear. I'm sorry."

"Well I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm sorry your life is too perfect for you to comprehend what I'm feeling. I'm sorry that your best friend has helped me through the week and all you can say is get over it. I'm sorry that you can lie to a thousand teachers, but can't lie to me."

"Do you want me to be serious? Do you want me to tell you about what I think?"

"Yes, I want to know what goes on in your mind."

"I don't want to think about the future in the way that you are. I don't want to think about money and Astronomy and truth. I look into the future and all I see is you." James yelled. He turned and looked out into the ocean. "Everything is going to be okay for you and you will make it." He yelled into the night. "But what if I don't." He whispered and turned back to her. "What if you discover that the only way your life can be perfect is to forget about me and you leave?" Tears glistened in his eyes. "Where will I be then? Nowhere. I won't make it. Things will only get better if you're there to help it." His eyes left hers and he began to walk back towards Ebony's house.

"I know I'll never be perfect James." Lily called back.

James turned around. "You already are."

He kept walking until Lily could no longer see him. She then fell onto the sand and looked up at the stars. Somehow they seemed more real.

_As I gaze into the night _

_Down the future of my years_

_I'm not sure I want to walk_

_Past horizons that I know_

_But I feel my spirit called_

_Like a stirring deep within_

_Restless til I live again_

_Beyond the fears that close me in_

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	28. Christmas and Forgiveness

**Chapter 26****  
Christmas and Forgiveness**

It was not for a few more hours that Lily made her way back to her room. She dressed slowly and lay in bed, wide-awake.

_Why did we fight? Why did we fight? I thought we were unbreakable, invincible. Why did we fight?_

The thought swam in her head as she stared up at the darkness around her. She pulled out her wand from under her pillow and lit a few nearby candles. She made her way to the cupboard and found a journal hidden under a pile of clothes. She sat on her bed and flipped through the pages. She stopped at the last entry.

_My life is beginning to look perfect. I can't believe how amazing my future looks. I may be one of the lucky ones._

This was the night before she had received her acceptance letter to Hogwarts. She had never written in it since then.

She now got out her quill and a pot of ink and started writing. She wrote every word of her fight with James on the beach. She detailed everything about the night, the stars and the ocean. She wrote her thoughts about how stupid it all seemed. She didn't stop writing until a tap on the window disturbed her. She let a large black owl into her room and began to read the letter attached to it.

_Lily,__  
I really am an idiot. I know everything is bad for you right now, but I don't know what to say. Sometimes it seems easier for me to ignore things than to face them. I'm sorry I tried to take the easy way out; you're worth more than that. I don't understand how you feel its true. What you said was true. I do have a perfect life. I wouldn't want it to be any other way. I do seem to be one of the lucky ones- you know what I mean?_

_ I may have a perfect life, but you're perfect. More perfect than I could ever be._

_ I hope you can forgive me for being such a prat. Maybe we can talk sometime soon and you can tell me everything. I don't promise I'll know what to say, but I wont be so stupid about it._

_ By the way, the owl is yours. Happy Christmas._

_ Lily, there's something that I've realised that everyone else already knows. It's something obvious that I never seemed to be able to get my head around. _

_ I'm not invincible. No one is. I could fall of my broom tomorrow and die, I could get hit by a memory charm and never remember you or Sirius or anything. I could lose you. I don't want to lose you. I want to hold you in my arms and never let go. I want to be honest with you and still be able to lie to you. _

_ Please forgive me; I could never live without you. _

_ You're sorry boyfriend,_

_ James_

Lily folded the letter and placed it in her journal. It seemed she was not the only one having trouble sleeping. She stroked the owl gently and then went out to the balcony. James's room was last door to the left. Lily made her way towards it, careful not to make any noise. She slipped into James's room and saw his goofy grinning face.

"Hey, beautiful." He sighed.

Lily didn't say anything. She just lay next to James and they finally fell asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

"Wake up!" Sirius yelled, throwing various objects at Lily and James. "It's Christmas and we have to wait for you fuckers. I want presents."

The two woke up, yawning and stretching, and made their way to a room they hadn't been in before.

"The Christmas room." Ebony announced as they entered. "The only room that will only let you in one day a year."

The room was certainly very Christmassy. The red and green walls were covered in gold tinsel and there must have been four elaborately ornamented trees. The house elves had wrapped all the presents and arranged them into piles.

They all ripped open their presents like they were little kids. It became clear why Sirius had not spent a lot of time shopping. He had stolen the door from Professor Hoozengraft's office as a present to James who had dropped Muggle Studies because he had hated the professor so much. Somehow he had managed to steal the timer that calculated the Slytherin's house points as a present for Remus. He had also stolen various other Hogwarts possessions for his friends. The only present he had actually bought was a black kitten for Kim. It was a little disgruntled at being wrapped in a box, but immediately produced a liking to Kim and as he ate her vegemite on toast.

"Oh, he likes vegemite! He's truly my pet. I'm calling him Ris-Ris!" She petted Ris-Ris fondly as she opened her other presents. Which included presents from her family and…

"Lucius Malfoy?" Remus exclaimed as he read the card.

"Yeah, we were kind of friends. He's one of the older Slytherin's I talked about." Kim said, grabbing the card off Remus.

"Narcissa thinks he fancies you." Sirius said rolling his eyes. "She's a snob and a half."

"I know you hung out with him sometimes, but he doesn't seem the type to send… Is that a Lunascope?" Lily's eyes popped with amazement. "You'll ace Astronomy with that. I didn't think you could even buy them yet."

"You can if you know where to shop." Ebony said. "Haven't you opened your present from me, Lil?"

When Lily did, she found a Lunascope twice the size of Kim's gleaming up at her. It seemed Ebony had not spared any money when it came to buying presents for her friends. She gave Terran a piano ("To go with my Drum Kit, Cello and flute!"), for Kim a never-ending jar of vegemite ("Ris-Ris will love it too!"), a flying motorbike for Sirius ("This is better than the toilet that I stole for you."), James got ownership of the Woollongong Warriors ("I got a Quidditch Team for Christmas? Wicked!") And Remus was given a small island in the South Pacific.

"Great idea, I know." Ebony grinned. "My parents got me one a couple of years ago. Ebon, it's beautiful there."

James was even more excited when he opened his present from Lily.

"A Silver Arrow 68! Wow, Lily! This is better than my Swift Stick. I've heard stories. The acceleration on this thing is meant to be phenomenal and it even has a cushioning charm already. This was _Witch Broomstick's _fastest broom winner last year!" He examined the broom from all angles. "I'll be good enough to join the Woollongong Warriors with this broom."

"Blimey, this is swish, James." Sirius called as he swung his engraved beater bat around his head.

"Yeah, I actually have some hidden intentions with that, mate. I'll talk to you about it later." James tried to say with his mouth full of Every Flavour Beans that Peter had sent him.

Soon they were in the Kitchen giving the maids and house elves their present.

"You all have the day off." Mr Wiccapot exclaimed. "Young Miss Grima has kindly offered to cook for us today."

Kim smiled at the Wiccapot's and got to work cooking lunch.

After they had eaten their lasagne and fettuccine, and after they had spent the night on the beach singing songs from Remus's new Beatle's Record, and after Christmas had turned into Boxing Day, and after their New Year's celebrations the New Year had begun, which also meant the new term.

The trip on the Hogwarts Express was not as fun as it usually was. Christmas at the Wiccapot Mansion had been the best Christmas for most of them and going back to school was not something to look forward to. The only bright spot on the horizon was the party. They had spent all their spare time organising it and now it was close.

The week crawled by like an old, tired snail. The seconds seemed like minutes and the minutes seemed like hours, but finally Friday came. Merlin's Day. The day of the best party Hogwarts would ever remember.

* * *

Review, review, review. I love the feedback.


	29. Merlin's Day

**So many thank-you's but so little time...  
1st: thanks to Stoiven who was my co-writer for this chapter, great work, but you'll hate me for what I've turned what you wrote into.  
2nd: Kim for her wonderful dedication to helping me with this fic and ideas. I don't know what I'd to without you.  
3rd: Sarah L, thanks for being a great Beta, you're a legend. I went to Baskin Robins without you tonight, sorry.  
Last but not least: A huge thanks to all of my wondeful reviewers. I don't know if this story would be where it is if I didn't have your motivation and support. Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you. I love you all.  
Anyway, on with the story. This and the next chapter have become my new favourite chapters, moving chapter 17 back to 3rd favourite.**

**Here it goes, hope you all love it...**

* * *

**Chapter 27 ****  
Merlin's Day**

The day seemed to creep by slowly. The group had thought that the week had been slow, but Friday set new records for slow days.

Lily, Sirius and Ebony sat in the Muggle Studies classroom. It was the last period of the day and they were all getting anxious. The teachers had slackened off as they were excited about an important seminar they would be attending that night.

When class was finally over, Lily waited for Remus in front of the Ancient Runes classroom. Professor Dippit had asked all the prefects to report to his class after lessons. Remus had Ancient Runes with Josie Duderanch and Billy Martin, so the four of them made their way to the Headmaster's office together.

After about an hour of instructions from Professor Dippit and Professor Dumbledore, Lily, Remus, Frank and Kirstin went to the room of requirement to find that the others had already set up the room and everything was organised.

At dinner that night, James lay on the bench looking up at the enchanted ceiling. Lily sat next to his head and would put a forkful of food into his mouth every few minutes. Snape sat at the Slytherin table and watched them with a sour look on his face.

"See, the stars are dead, they don't look real." James sighed.

"They aren't real, they're enchanted." Lily said calmly as she took another bite of food and turned the page of the book she had borrowed from the library that day.

The students were all trying to act as normal as possible. Inside, they were ready to burst, but they could not let the teachers know that.

After dinner, Lily went to the owlery to visit her new owl, Bowdyn (meaning messenger) and watched as the teachers made their way down the path and out the gates. She found herself grinning as she waited for James and Sirius. When they arrived, they were laughing hysterically.

"Lily!" James yelled happily as he wrapped his arms around her and spun her around. "Let's party."

Sirius had made his way to the far side of the owlery and was tapping the wall with his wand and whispering quietly. When the wall opened up and an opening appeared, he removed a large heavy looking box and carried it to the door.

"Come on, lovers. We have work to do."

James gave Lily a kiss and then watched Sirius leave.

"Do you remember when we were in the forest and we talked about…sharing."

"Yes, sharing. If you're talking about what I think you are." Lily blushed.

"Well, I said that I was waiting for the right time and I was just making sure it is still the right time for you."

"James Potter, you astound me." Lily grinned.

"Is that a yes?" James asked hopefully.

"It's not a no."

"So it's a yes."

"I suppose it would be." Lily hinted as she left after Sirius. James grinned and followed.

* * *

At one minute to nine, half of Hogwarts had left their common rooms and were making their way towards the seventh floor corridor to the door that had appeared opposite the tapestry of Barnaby the Barmy.

Kim and Sirius stood at the door and welcomed the guests with a cup of Butterbeer. James had somehow managed to bewitch the Butterbeer keg to remain full for the duration of the night.

Inside the party was getting wild. Kirstin and Frank were easily the best dancers, but Ebony and Remus were close. Lily had charmed a muggle jukebox to work, which took a lot of work since most technology went haywire at Hogwarts. She had found a loophole in the room of requirement and was now singing along to all her favourite muggle songs.

Kim and Sirius were about to go inside to join the party when a familiarly greasy face appeared.

"Snape, ya slimy bastard. You weren't invited." Sirius laughed. His face then turned deadly serious. "So fuck off."

"Everyone's invited." Snape snarled. "I'm meeting a girl in there."

Sirius started laughing again. Kim remained calm.

"Well, I suppose you can come in. It is Merlin's day after all." She said sweetly.

"What?" Sirius exclaimed. Kim ignored him.

"I'll even let you in for half price, just because I feel sorry for you."

"Half price?" Snape looked excited.

"Yeah, I'm feeling pretty generous today." Sirius said, catching on.

"Well I guess I had the wrong idea about all of you. I thought you all hated me." Snape attempted to smile.

"Well we do, but we aren't mean." Sirius grinned back.

"Ten galleons and you're in." Kim joined in with the smiling.

"Ten galleons? That's pretty expensive." Snape looked slightly nervous.

"You do have the money?" Kim asked.

"Yes, of course." Snape pulled some coins out of his pocket and gave them to Kim. He made his way inside, bopping goofily.

Kim and Sirius laughed and followed him in, splitting the money between them.

"You're brilliant." Sirius said, kissing Kim on the forehead. After grabbing a butterbeer, they spotted their friends on the other side of the room: James and Lily dancing, Ebony and Remus kissing on a couch and Peter sitting nervously next to them. They made their way over.

"Have you seen Snape?" Sirius asked.

"Snape? He's here? Why?" Remus asked pulling away from Ebony.

"Yeah, who let him in?" James slowed his dancing down to join the conversation.

"We did." Kim laughed. "Why? Don't you want him here?"

"Not really." James said. "Lets go tell him to fuck off."

"James, is he really doing any harm being here?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, it's our party." James argued.

"Well, don't go looking for him. If you see him, then ask him to leave, but just forget about him and keep dancing with me." Lily said sweetly.

"Okay." James turned back to Lily. "I just don't want anything to ruin tonight."

They started dancing again.

* * *

The party was still raging when James and Lily left. They walked through the hall with hands held tight, each step causing their knees to grow weak in anticipation. James led Lily to the room in which he would prove his love to Lily.

"Oh, James! It's beautiful!" Lily whispered as they entered the room. She looked around at the neat room; the only source of light was the moonlight, which was glowing gently through the large open window, which overlooked the lake. James flicked his wand and the room was lit further by the glow of hundreds of candles, the soft breeze from outside causing the light to flicker across the white walls.

"I wanted to make it special. I've been thinking about this night ever since I realised my feelings for you." He responded as he closed the door and led her to the silk covered bed. "So, how do we get started?"

Lily's head dropped momentarily and then rose again as she gathered her thoughts. "James, before we go any further, there's something you need to know. I'm a virgin."

"What?" James jumped up.

"I made that up, about Nathan and the party. The truth is, I've never done anything with any guy. You were my first kiss." She grinned slightly.

"Why did you lie?" He shouted.

Lily looked shocked. "Because when you asked me, I didn't know you were a virgin." She stood up and faced him. "I've always thought you were the most experienced guy here, except maybe Sirius. I thought you wouldn't want me."

"You were ashamed. You were happier telling me that you were a slut than a virgin, that's low." James yelled.

"No, I…It's your fault." Lily yelled back. "You have…a saving people thing. You always have to act like a hero. I didn't want you to think I needed saving." She stopped yelling, but still remained angry. "Then you told me you were a virgin and I felt like an idiot, but I couldn't tell you then."

"You shouldn't have lied in the first place. I though I could trust you."

"And I thought I could tell you this without you acting like you are now." Tears were forming in Lily's eyes.

"Well you were wrong. You obviously don't know me like I thought you did."

"Is it really important?"

"It is to me. My virginity is important to me. I was saving it for you, but now I know the truth, I can't bear to look at you. In fact, I never even want to see you again. You've ruined this relationship. Are you happy?"

"Happy? Fuck off James." Lily screamed back.

"I will, but never with you."

James stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Lily collapsed on the bed in a fit of sobs.

Had she really lost James forever?

Who was going to save her now?


	30. It's my party

**This is a really good chapter (I think). Thanks to Sarah, Kim and Kirstin (Don't say I never thank you)**

**And heaps of thanks to my reviewers. I love you more than...I love you all, more than something.**

**I hope you love this chapter, I'm sorry I've been slow with updating but i have a life besides fanfiction...not really, but school work.**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 28  
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to  
**  
James slammed the door as he left and punched the wall.  
  
"AH, ow. That hurts." He gasped. Not only talking about his fist, but his aching heart.  
  
He stood outside the door for a couple of minutes, wanting to do something, but still too full of fury to think clearly. He eventually went back upstairs to the party, grabbing a bottle of firewhiskey as he entered and downing half of it.  
  
"That was quick." Sirius said when James had found him. "Where's Lily?"  
  
"Shut up, Sirius. Are you okay James?" Kim asked in a comforting voice.  
  
"How did you know?" James muttered and took another swig.  
  
"Ummm, oh, it's a girl thing." She replied.  
  
"What's going on?" Sirius nagged. "I'm not a girl so I don't have the girl thing telling me so you're going to have to fill me in."  
  
"I said shut up." Kim said angrily.  
  
"Me and Lily broke up." James said, louder than he was meant to. Unluckily for James, Snape had been walking passed at the wrong time.  
  
"Poor Potter got his heart broken by a mudblood." He taunted.  
  
"Fuck off, this has nothing to do with you. At least she went out with me. I didn't write disturbing poetry and keep it in a box, I asked her out." James yelled. A few people around the group had stopped dancing and turned towards them. "And I broke up with her."  
  
"For no reason?" Snape questioned.  
  
"No, I had a good reason. It's none of your fucking business though." James pushed past Snape and walked towards an empty chair. He sat and drank the rest of the bottle of firewhiskey, ignoring the stares and whispers from the dancing people. He got up swiftly, his chair falling back against the floor, and made his way back towards the door to get another drink. Remus stopped him.  
  
"Haven't you had enough, Prongs?" James pushed him out of the way and grabbed a bottle of MagiRum. Remus followed him as he crossed the room. Sirius soon joined them.  
  
"Prongs, what the fuck is wrong with you mate?" Sirius asked as he stopped him. "Lily won't want you to be like this."  
  
"I don't care what Lily wants. She's just a lying, betraying EX-girlfriend. She's out of my life forever." James drank some more. "I hate her."  
  
Sirius tried to grab the bottle out of James's hand but James pulled back and ended up smashing the bottle against the wall behind him. "What the fuck was that for Padfoot? You broke the rum." James's words were becoming slurred already.  
  
"You don't need anymore rum, mate." Remus said.  
  
"Yes, I do." James took one step and Remus and Sirius grabbed him.  
  
"Prongs, its not worth it." Sirius whispered. James stopped. "Maybe we should leave."  
  
"Yeah, I should."  
  
Just as it looked like Remus and Sirius had calmed James down, Snape had come back.  
  
"What a loser. Look what you've become without Lily. She's been out of your life for an hour and you've already become a drunken fool. What a disgrace." He sneered.  
  
"I'm a fool? Who's the one who paid a fifth year slut to give him some good insults and tell some other sluts that he's good in bed?"  
  
"He is good in bed." Piped up Laura, the fifth year slut. She didn't look entirely convinced, but then Snape mouthed what looked like Potions Final and she grabbed onto his hand. "And he came up with those insults himself. He's so smart." Snape grinned.  
  
"I told you I was meeting a girl, Black." He spat at Sirius. "Thanks for letting me in for half price, friend."  
  
"Half price?" James coughed.  
  
"Yes, seems your friends aren't as arrogant and self-centred as you." Snape swanked.  
  
James laughed and swayed slightly. "It was free, loser. I can't believe you payed."  
  
Snape scowled. "So, Black. I was right about you. You could never change."  
  
"You're the one that will never change." James growled, angry again. "You'll always be a loser. You'll always be alone."  
  
"Did you ever think that maybe the reason I'm alone is that I want to be?" Snape snapped as Laura backed away and joined her friends again.  
  
"No. You're alone because you could never be anything else. No one could ever like you, because you are stupid." James slurred.  
  
"What would you know? You're just a drunken idiot." Snape said in a clear voice.  
  
"I should've killed you when I had the chance. I would've if it wasn't for..." James trailed off.  
  
Kim stepped forward. "Maybe we should go now James."  
  
"Now, here's a loser. She can't make friends either; she has to hang around with you losers." Snape barked.  
  
"I do have Slytherin friends. They're just older. It's not my fault I choose my friends carefully." Kim spat. "I used to be friends with you Snapey, if you can remember. You were kicked out of that group long before I left."  
  
"Left? You left?" Snape huffed. "I heard they never liked you."  
  
"I don't care if they didn't like me. They're losers." Kim said.  
  
"No, you're a loser. You all are." Snape sneered. "I don't know what Lucius saw in you, Grima."  
  
Kim flinched and Sirius looked confused. James swayed and had the look that Peter often displayed when he was performing even the simplest spells on his face.  
  
"Oh, actually, I remember now." Snape continued. "We could hear you up there. We were kept awake at night listening to you two shagging in the head room."  
  
"Lucius?" Sirius gaped. "Lucius Malfoy? I thought you guys were just friends."  
  
"Well, we were more than that for a while. But I've always liked you more." Kim said in a tiny voice.  
  
"You picked Padfoot over Malfoy?" James garbled. "He's so goofy though, and funny looking."  
  
Kim and Sirius ignored him. "I broke up with him for you Sirius. I never loved him."  
  
"But he loved you." Sirius's eyes were reddening.  
  
Kim looked down. "Yes."  
  
James looked around at the people who had now stopped dancing and where watching the group.  
  
"THIS IS ABOUT ME!!!!" He yelled. "Me and Lily. Why is it about you now?"  
  
"You're really drunk, mate." Remus said. 'Let's just go."  
  
"NO!" James pulled back as Remus reached out to him. "I hate all this. I hate feeling so...so..._shitty_. I hate..." He turned to look at Snape who was smirking at him. "YOU!"  
  
James gathered all his strength and anger, putting into a punch that sent Snape to the ground. Remus jumped to hold him back but James turned and Remus's face was met with a blow that hurled him into the jukebox, stopping the music.  
  
A few girls nearby screamed and people started leaving the room. Others stayed to watch the fight. Ebony also screamed and ran to Remus's side.  
  
James had now turned his attention back to Snape and was on the floor pummelling him. Sirius snapped out of his shocked state and grabbed James. He pulled him back and turned him round to face him. James's eyes shut tight as Sirius shook him violently.  
  
"What's going on Prongs? This isn't you." He growled in a doglike manner.  
  
James pushed Sirius to the ground. He pulled out his wand and stood over Sirius, Who just stared up at him significantly.  
  
"Don't do it. You've caused enough damage. Just let it go. You don't really want to do this, something more powerful is at work here. MagiRum and Firewhiskey are no good, Prongs." Sirius said quietly.  
  
At those words Kim gasped a last breath and her eyes rolled back into her head.  
  
Don't do it. Don't do it. You've caused enough damage. Don't do it.  
  
I love you Kim.  
  
Kim let out the breath with a cry. Tears spilled from her eyes and she looked scared for her life. She looked at James, who had dropped his wand and then at Sirius, whose concerned face only made her cry more.  
  
"No." She managed to say. "It can't be." She shook her head and then ran from the room.  
  
Sirius got up from the floor.  
  
"Where are you going?" James asked.  
  
"After Kim," He said quickly before running from the room.  
  
The crowd around James, Remus, Ebony and the now unconscious Snape remained silent as they stared at the retreating backs.  
  
"Party's over." Ebony screamed at them. "Get the fuck out of here, or I'll require you all to Azkaban."  
  
The people slowly moved out of the room. When they were gone, Ebony helped the moaning Remus to his feet.  
  
"Mooney, I'm sorry." James bleated, head in hands. Remus didn't, and couldn't, reply. "Ebony, tell him I'm sorry."  
  
Ebony ignored him and helped Remus limp out of the room, leaving James alone with the bloody body of Snape.  
  
He walked towards the door and found a bottle of Firewhiskey. He sat on a couch and drank until he passed out.

* * *

Sirius followed Kim down two flights of stairs and along a lengthy corridor before he caught up with her. She was still crying when he reached her.  
  
"Kimby, don't cry. I don't care about Lucius. I've had a lot of ex's, I don't care that you went out with him. Just...don't cry." Sirius looked close to tears himself. "I can't stand to see you cry." Kim was looking down at the ground, tears dropping and spattering on her shoes. Sirius reached out and placed one finger under her chin to force her eyes to meet his. She looked at him through blurred vision with a nauseous look on her face. Sirius tried to ignore the pain on her face. "I love you Kim. I could never stop loving you because you went out with someone I don't like."  
  
"It's not that." Kim sobbed. "It's not that." She repeated. "I love you too."  
  
She let out a loud whimper and flung herself into Sirius's arms and wept into his chest.  
  
"I don't want to lose you." Kim's muffled voice said between sobs.  
  
"Ssshhhhh." Sirius hushed soothingly. "You won't lose me, I'm right here. I'm right here with you, babe. You'll never lose me." He held Kim in his arms and rocked side-to-side, whispering comforting words to her, forcing the words in her head to quieten.  
  
Don't do it. Don't do it. You've caused enough damage. Don't do it.  
  
You don't really want to do this, something more powerful is at work here.  
  
I love you Kim. 


	31. True Love can Never be Broken

**Thanks for all the great feedback. Sorry about James being such a loser but Harry has to get it from somewhere, and he isn't perfect.   
And I know you're all confused about the stuff going on with Kim, but you're meant to be. There is a big secret. If you think you know what it is, tell me in a review. If you guess right, you'll win absolutely nothing. Wow. I'd love to know what you all think it is. Well, good luck, hope you all love it!!!!**

* * *

**Chapter 29**  
**True Love Can Never be Broken**

Ebony sat on the edge of her bed, watching her lovers bruised face and stroking his hair gently. She leant down to kiss his mouth and a tear leaked gently from her eye onto his swollen cheek. His eyes fluttered open and his bruise faded away instantly.

"Oh Remus." Ebony cried, grabbing hold of his hand.

Remus leant forward and kissed her. "Don't cry. I love you too much to let you cry."

She managed a smile and started fussing over him. "Are you okay? You look so pale. Do you feel weak? Do you feel any pain? Are you hungry? Do you want to have some breakfast? Yes, you must have something to eat. Let's go down to the Great Hall." Remus never had a chance to answer her questions as she dragged him downstairs to the Great Hall and forced him into the seat next to Lily.

"Did you guys see James last night?" Lily asked nervously.

"Yes, we saw him." Ebony hissed. "He made sure that Remus saw his fist."

"He hit you?" Lily asked, shocked.

"Well, yes. But he was drunk and upset. It was my fault as much as his." Remus said calmly.

"That's bullshit, Remus. He doesn't deserve your lies." Ebony said, lighting up a Wiccapot joint. "Everyone was drunk at that party. He was the only one ruining his friendships."

"Ruining our friendship? I wouldn't go that far." Remus said as he spread marmalade on his toast. "Do you think he hates me?"

"He hates you? You should hate him." Ebony said taking another drag and piling more toast onto Remus's plate.

"I shouldn't have told him what I told him. It's my fault." Lily sighed.

At that moment, the doors to the Entrance Hall burst open and the teachers filed in, chattering loudly to each other. Ebony flicked her joint into a jug of Pumpkin Juice.

"…Complete waste of time…"

"…Worst conference ever…"

Before Ebony or Remus could say anything else to her, Lily ran from the room and up the stairs in the Entrance Hall. She made her way to the one place she could hide her emotions and ignore the voice in her head telling her to hate James. She went to the library.

* * *

She sighed when she saw Kim at the back table, peering down at a large book. She had hoped she could be alone, without someone telling her what she had turned James into by breaking his heart. She made her way over to Kim, who saw her coming and closed the book she was reading. Lily sat beside her.

"Hi Kim. The teachers are back."

"How are you?" Kim asked, ignoring Lily's comment.

"I don't know. I don't really want to know." Lily looked down at the table. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Okay then." Kim stopped talking and the two sat in an awkward silence for a few moments.

"So, Divinations." Lily commented, looking down at the book entitled _Is knowing the future a gift or a burden._

"Yeah, its pretty boring really." Kim cleared her throat. "Well, I should go now. Hagrid said he would help me with my Care of Magical Creatures homework." Kim grabbed her bag and walked out of the library, leaving Lily with her thoughts.

* * *

James groaned as he made his way to his dorm. When he got there, he searched his trunk for a small blue vile of liquid. He found it and gulped it down, becoming magically relieved of his hangover. He looked around at the empty dorm and decided to face the day. He reached the Great Hall and the first person he saw made him both glad and guilty.

He made his way over to Remus, but Ebony saw him and marched towards him. "You wanker." She screamed as she slapped him hard across the face. "I can't believe you'd show your face, you…you…wanker."

"That hurts." James grunted.

"Well, you deserve it." Ebony scowled.

James sighed shamefully. His attention then turned to Remus, who had followed Ebony.

"I don't want to hate you Prongs. We've been through too much shit." Remus said meaningfully.

"I don't want to hate you, Moony. I don't want you to hate me." James almost apologised.

"Then listen to what I have to say. Do you really want to lose what you have with Lily just because of one lie?" He asked.

"Did she tell you what we fought about?" James snapped.

"No, Kim told us. I figured you told Sirius and he told her." James didn't remember if he had told Sirius or not.

"Don't tell me what to think, Moony. I'll figure it all out on my own." James stormed out of the Great Hall just as Sirius was making his way in. He looked at Ebony and Remus and then turned to follow James.

* * *

Sirius didn't catch up to James until he had reached the Quidditch Pitch.

"Prongs." He called.

"What?" James barked without turning to face him.

"What's going on? Why are you avoiding me? You told me you loved me and you're throwing it all away. Didn't that night in the broom closet mean anything to you?" Sirius cried dramatically. James couldn't help but laugh. Sirius had a way of simplifying life that both disturbed and motivated James.

"I was drunk and stupid. I didn't mean to do what I did. Losing Lily was unexpected. I never thought she would lie to me." James said seriously.

"I never thought you would break up with her because she lied. Everyone has secrets, Prongs."

"Do you keep secrets from Kim?"

"No, but she keeps them from me. I know she will tell me when she feels it is right. And when she tells me, I will accept it."

"I suppose you accept that she's been fucking a Malfoy for years, but she still won't do anything with you."

"We'll do it when we're ready. Our relationship isn't about what all my other relationships have been about. And she's had sex with one guy. One. I've had sex with a lot more than one girl." Sirius said with every intention of modesty.

"Well I guess you guys are in love."

"You and Lily are in love."

"Not anymore. It's not true love anymore."

"Not true love? Love that is true can never be broken. You guys will never truly love anyone else."

"When did you become the expert?" James sneered.

"Kim told me." Sirius said with a shrug. "She keeps going on about how you're destined to be together and how your love is so pure."

"You really love her." James whispered.

"You love Lily more."

James started breathing faster as a realisation spread over him.

"Shit. I've lost her." He swallowed. "I've lost her. I'll never get her back."

"If your love is as pure as Kim says it is, you'll work it out somehow."

"I've gotta find her. I have to prove Kim right." He ran towards the castle without looking back at Sirius. He ran to the only place he could think of, the only place he could ever let his true feeling out. The place where he first told Lily of his feelings. He went to the library.

* * *

**Did you like? Sorry about the shortness, but I like that ending, lots of suspense. Will Lily take him back after he was such a weiner? You'll find out next time on Teen Angst!!!!!**

**Send me a review if you think you know what Kim is up to!!!!! I've dropped a few hints and there are more to come.**


	32. Untruthful Lies

**Sorry, sorry, sorry. This chapter took me so long to update. My beta Sarah had all these ideas for me to add, but I didn't have time to fix them. I have a billion assignments. I haven't got many ideas of what Kim is up to, except one very good guess. I will try to put better clues in so you have some idea. Well hopefully I'll write the next chapter soon. Sorry about the wait.**

**Chapter 30 **  
**Untruthful Lies**

Lily sighed and decided to leave. She stood up and reached for the book that Kim had left behind, planning to return it to the shelf. She was distracted by the corner of a neatly cut piece of heavy parchment poking discreetly out of the side. In her curiosity, she sat back down and pulled out the parchment.

_Kim,_

_The dark Lord is rising. He needs followers, supporters. If you want to live you must join us. He will give us power and riches. He is the new way. He will get rid of the Mudbloods forever._

_He will guide us all to greatness and I want you to be with me as I begin my life in his glory. I want you to leave Hogwarts now and come away with me to help the Dark Lord prepare his rise to power._

_Please reply as soon as possible,_

_Yours,_

_Lucius_

Lily stared down at the neatly written words in horror.

_Get rid of the Mudbloods? _

She looked up as James came bursting into the library and hastily shoved the letter into her pocket.

"Lily." James called from the threshold. "I was a fool. Please forgive me."

"James. I thought you never wanted to see me again." Lily called back, glaring angrily at him.

Madame McDonald, the librarian, cleared her throat loudly and held her finger to her lips. James ignored her.

"I'm an idiot. I didn't know what I was saying. I just didn't know what to do so I did the stupid thing and ruined the only chance of love I'll ever have. I just didn't realise what I'd done until Sirius said something…" He trailed off as he made his way towards her. "I should never have let you go and I'll never let you go again…if you only give me another chance."

"Oh, James. I forgive you, as long as you forgive me." Lily reached him and leapt into his arms. He spun her around and kissed her.

"There's nothing to forgive and I love you and I never want to fight again." James whispered into Lily's ear. He took her by the hand and the two made their way out of the library. "If you'll only listen to me I can explain." James said apologetically. "Let's go somewhere private."****

****

Kim finished her last mouthful of tea and thanked Hagrid. "I don't know what I would do without you Hagrid. You are an absolute genius when it comes to unicorns. Tell me if you find that lost one."

She pulled on her coat and patted Fang, who was lying by the fire next to Ris-Ris.

"Come on Ris-Ris. Time to go." He obediently followed his owner out the door and into the freezing cold. Kim saw Sirius high above the Quidditch pitch, practising Quidditch with Remus and Travis. He loved flying. He wanted to become a professional Quidditch player but Kim knew he wouldn't. She watched the boys fly for a while, but then made her way back towards the castle. She had to find Lily.

* * *

Lily and James were talking in an empty classroom. Kim knew they would be there, it was too small for classes and too out of the way to be an office, so it had been abandoned by the teachers and had become a popular place for students to do things they couldn't do anywhere else. Lily and James were simply talking. They had been through a lot and needed to talk. Kim wished she could talk to Sirius the way Lily and James could talk to each other. Sirius could talk to her about anything, but she had so many things she couldn't say. So many secrets. It was not as if she didn't trust Sirius enough to tell him her secrets and she knew he would understand, especially after he accepted something as big as her relationship with Lucius Malfoy. No, it was not Sirius she had to worry about. It was everything else. She knew that if she told him, something bad would happen, something tragic. It had happened before. She had told other people something that she knew she shouldn't have said, and it resulted it something worse than guilt or loss of friendship, it was much worse- pain, suffering, and death.

Kim reached the classroom and knocked lightly. She pushed open the door and saw Lily's relieved look turn to a look of intensity. James, however, looked calm and casual so Kim knew he did not know, Lily had not told him yet.

"Can I borrow Lily for a while James?" She asked, avoiding Lily's gaze. "I won't take too long."

James stood up. "I'll go. I was getting hungry anyway." He turned to Lily. "Are you coming to Quidditch practice?" She nodded and he kissed her on the forehead. "Love you."

"You too." Lily smiled sweetly.

"Sirius and Travis are already there, with Remus." Kim told James as he left the room.

"Cool, I'll bring them some lunch then." He ran his hands through his messy black hair as he left. Kim entered the classroom and closed the door.

"I found the letter Kim." Lily said from behind her. Kim froze and listened. "I found the letter from Lucius Malfoy. It was in that book you were reading, the divinations one."

Kim turned around. "Oh, you did?"

"Yes. You're not evil are you?"

"No! Of course not. I was just going to tell you about it. That's why I came here. You're the only person I can really talk to, besides Sirius." She perjured**. **"I didn't want to talk to him because it involves Lucius."

"What about Frank?" Lily asked. ****

"He hated him. I can't talk to Frank about anything to do with Lucius and Slytherin's. He doesn't understand, and he wouldn't understand this. Anyway, we haven't been as close since he got together with Kirstin and I started going out with Sirius. We don't talk as much."

"Well what do you want to say about it?" Lily asked, unsure of how she was supposed to react. "You're not evil, but are you going to join with this…this, mudblood hater."

"Don't say mudblood." Kim snapped. "You're not a mudblood. You are as much a witch as I am."

"I'm guessing you aren't joining him then, unless you are as power hungry as the rest of the Slytherin's."

"I don't need to gain power from some Dark Lord." Kim snapped again, anger burning in her eyes. "I'm not like the others. I'm not like Lucius. I don't need _him_ to give me power when I already have my own power." Kim flinched as she realised what she had just said. "I have the power of good. I will never be evil just because it is what is wanted of me."

Lily looked at her with sympathy, her eyes filling with tears. "Oh, Kim, I'm so sorry I thought you were evil. I can't believe I would think you could do such a thing. I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes. There's nothing to forgive. We're friends. I would never keep a secret from you."

Lily flung her arms around Kim and held her securely. Kim closed her eyes in guilt…guilt. She thought of the other options and held back her emotions. She hated lying to her friends, but in the end it was the only way she could protect them.

"So obviously James and I are together again. You don't seem surprised." Lily said as she pulled away from Kim.

"I'm rarely ever surprised, but everyone could see this coming. You and James will be together until you die."

"Thanks Kim. I know you can't know that for sure, but I really appreciate you saying it." Lily smiled. "You and Sirius will be together forever too."

"Yes. Together forever." Kim repeated.

* * *

James entered the Quidditch pitch with the basket of food the house elves had made for him. "Smoko." He called and the three boys landed.

James ran over to Sirius and called out to him. "You can't eat until you help me with the equipment Padfoot."

Sirius stuck his finger up at him, but made his way over to the broom shed anyway.

"You remember at Christmas how I told you I had hidden intentions behind your gift?" James asked as he checked the quaffle for defaults.

"The beaters bat? Yeah." Sirius stopped stacking the brooms and listened.

"Well I had a good reason." James said as Sirius almost cracked under the suspense.

"For Merlin's sake, what is it?"

"Well I thought it would be obvious, but I want you to become a beater."

"Me? Why? What about Sam and Stephan?"

"Stephan has to leave. Dumbledore reckons he isn't doing well. Or in other words he'll fail if stays on the team."

"But I'm a chaser."

"This is your choice, Padfoot, but hear me out."

"Ok."

"I was doing some searching a while ago, after Dumbledore told me about Stephan. I found this girl, in second year, who can fly. I mean fly. She could be a seeker, but I would never give that up and I saw her dodge all this shit, she would never get hit by a bludger. The point is, I want her as a chaser, but I want you, Travis and Matty too."

"I thought you only wanted me…and Lily." Sirius joked.

"But I want you somewhere different. I think we should change our style, try a new position." James grinned.

"Why would I want to be a beater? I'm already a trained chaser. Wouldn't it be easier to train a new beater instead of a new beater _and _a new chaser."

"Padfoot, think about it. If you want to become a pro, you have to consider your options. How many desperate chasers are there, trying out and failing to get into every Quidditch team in England? There are too many to try to beat. Teams are desperate for a good beater, even if he's only got two years experience and he's just left school, if he's good, he's in with a chance."

"I get where you're coming from." Sirius nodded

"And you'll have experience in both beating and chasing so you might end up being a chaser, once they know your skills."

"You're a champ, Prongs." Sirius considered for a moment. "I'll do it, under one condition."

"What's that?" James asked.

"I wanna see this chick fly."

* * *

**This all started for Casey who wanted to be in my fanfic, but she will be an important character (If i can make it work). Please review, i need to know what you think because it may all end soon!**


	33. No Secrets Required

**This chapter is dedicated to Casey who was insanely jealous that she wasn't in my story. The description is accurate enough. Thanks to all my reviewer. Sorry I haven't been the best updater, but I wrote three chapters on the weekend so I will post them as soon as I can. And holidays next week means frequent updating, if anyone can remember last holidays. Hopefully it will all end soon and you can know the exciting ending I have planned. Then i can get to work on the sequal!!!!!!. anyway, enjoy...**

* * *

**Chapter 31****  
No secrets required.**

Casey Schofield opened the door to the change rooms and jumped at the mob of faces staring up at her. Sirius burst out laughing. Casey was short and awkward looking. Her hands were balled into tight fists and her body was tense and rigid. Her face however, was dreamy and bemused. Her red hair stuck out in anomalous places and looked as though an angry child had cut it, or perhaps she had attempted to do it herself.

"Are we goin' to play Quidditch or what?" She said in a heavily Scottish accent.

Sirius was now coughing violently.

"Is 'e okay?" Casey said, sporting an even more confused look on her face.

"I've been wondering that for years." James said happily, but jumped when Casey began to snort with a hideously dangerous laugh. The rest of the team seemed to come out of their shock and were grinning profusely. James took a breath and assumed his responsible captain voice. "That's enough. Settle down." When the laughter stopped, he continued. "If you'll just take a seat Casey. Thanks." He cleared his throat and gazed at his team. "You've all been informed of the departure of Stephan Lawes? Yes, good. Well in case you've been living under a rock, Sirius has taken his spot as beater and Casey Schofield will be our new chaser." He stopped and Casey looked around, waiting for some sort of recognition. "Well, good luck Casey." She made another odd laughing noise.

"Can we get to practice now?" Tara Wood asked as she suppressed a yawn.

"Well, before we do, I need to remind you that this is our last game before final. If we win, we could win the Quidditch cup. I don't want another failing season like last year, not that it was our fault the Slytherin's played so dirty. This year we're in for a chance. We have our own tactics and our own style. And in honour of our new team member I have devised a new play, which I have called the pouncing cat. Now, gather round and I'll explain…" James spent the next half an hour explaining the new play and then a further half an hour questioning the team members on what he had just said.

When they got outside, Sirius took a deep breath and sighed. "You better know what you're doing, Prongs." He muttered in James's ear.

"Look at that." James said nodding his head towards Casey, who was already in the air. She was speeding along beside Travis and stopped in less than a second and turned back the other way before Travis realised she had stopped.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "She's better than she looks. But I suppose that isn't hard." He began laughing again and took off on his broom.

"Okay, guys. Let's try this." James yelled as he threw the Quaffle high into the air and released one of the bludgers.

* * *

A few hours later, Sirius and James entered the common room with the rest of the team. James had put away his responsible voice and was now laughing hysterically as Sirius and Travis made up a song about the Professors they liked the least.

"_Professor Heath, you are a geezer. Couldn't get a girl so you fucked Professor Preasa." _Sirius sang horribly between laughs.

They spotted Lily, Ebony and Terran sitting with a group of sixth years. When Lily saw them coming she waved, but went back to her homework. "You're such a nerd Lily." James joked when he neared.

"You're the one who distracted me from my work all week. I'm just catching up." Lily said as she wrote. "But there's something else we had to catch up on." She looked up at James suggestively. "Something I thought we could catch up on tonight?"

James shook his head. "Full moon, sorry."

Lily nodded and went back to her work.

"Hey Prongs." Sirius said as he pushed James away from the group. "I need a favour."

"What kind of favour."

"Not anything really…its just Kim…" Sirius sighed. "She's been really down lately. I don't know if it's stress or if she's sick or something, but I haven't spent much time with her today. Could you guys go without me tonight?"

"Yeah, that's cool. But has this got anything to do with, you know…Malfoy." James said lowering his voice.

"I'm not sure. Probably nothing, but…" He trailed off and shrugged. "I just wanna be with her."

"I get that." Sirius gave James a pat on the back and they went back to join the others.

* * *

That night, after Remus, James and Peter had gone to the Shrieking shack, Sirius was waiting outside the Slytherin common room for Kim. He looked at his watch. She was late. He sighed and kept waiting. He heard a noise and turned to see who was coming out of the common room, hoping it would be Kim. It wasn't.

"Snape. Haven't seen you for a while." Sirius said in a friendly tone.

"No, not since the party." Snape simpered.

"So, what have you been up to, mate?"

"Shut up Black. Don't pretend you even care." Snape said bitterly.

"Have you seen Kim?" Sirius decided to ask, knowing he probably wouldn't get his desired answer.

"Oh, you haven't heard?"

"Heard what?" Sirius responded blankly.

"Heard about Kim, and the accident." Snape looked puzzled.

"What happened?" Sirius asked, heart dropping.

"Maybe she doesn't want you to know…" Snape yelped as Sirius grabbed him by the collar and swung him around into the wall.

"You're a psycho." Snape coughed.

"You're dead if you don't tell me."

"Funny you should say dead." Snape tried to smirk, but his purpling face wouldn't let him. He felt a jab in his side and looked down to see that Sirius had his wand out. "But not that funny. Actually, not funny at all."

"What happened? What happened to her?" Sirius whispered shakily.

Snape looked over Sirius's shoulder and groaned. Sirius turned his head to see Kim looking on with a look of confusion on her face. Sirius dropped Snape and let him slump to the ground. Ris-Ris appeared from behind Kim and hissed at him.

"Kim!" He yelled and ran to her, grabbing her shoulders. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Nothing happened. I'm fine." Kim said, still looking confused. "What's going on?"

Sirius froze. He slowly turned to the pile on the floor that was Snape. He was leering joyously. Sirius shut his eyes and growled, furious that he had been fooled by Snape.

Snape began to laugh, but grabbed his neck and started coughing.

Sirius opened his eyes and smiled at Kim. "I thought something had happened to you. I thought you were…" He trailed off and hugged her closely, moving slightly so that Snape had a better view. "Thank Merlin, you're okay." He leant down and kissed her as passionately as he dared. He forgot about how badly Snape had gotten him and kept kissing. Snape may have won the battle, but Sirius had won the war. He was kissing the girl that had given Snape a boner all those many months ago.

Sirius pulled away and led Kim down the corridor, desperately wanting to look back at Snape, to see his bitter face, but he knew that if he turned back it would not seem as classy and he wanted it to be, so he kept walking and returned his mind to Kim. She seemed a lot better. She had not been the same in the weeks since the party. She and Sirius still had a lot of fun, but there were days when she would seem depressed and Sirius hated those days.

The room of requirement was no longer in use. The partiers seemed to ignore the fact that it had only been there for one night and never questioned its existence. Sirius had been thinking about taking Kim there for some time and tonight seemed to be the perfect night.

He stopped her in front of the wall where the door to the room of requirement should've been. "I always take you to places I like." Sirius said softly. "It's time you chose. You know what to do, require away."

Kim paced in front of the wall for a while, until it turned into a large blue door. She grabbed Sirius's hand and they made their way inside. They found themselves no longer inside, but outside. A large beach at sunset, much like the one they had spent Christmas at. Ris-Ris ran away to chase some birds on the far end of the beach.

"I had so much fun that week." Kim said as she stared out at the horizon. "There was nothing to worry about. There were no tests, no teachers, no…" She blinked and turned to Sirius. "There was only you and me and our friends." She sat down on the sand and took off her shoes.

"I love it there. I remember from when I was younger, when I was friends with Ebony before we came to Hogwarts. We went there for a couple of weeks, for a holiday. It was great until my mother had a fight with Ebony's mum. I didn't talk to Ebony again, until Hogwarts."

"You don't talk about your family much."

"That's because I hate them. I hate all their pureblood shit. Toujours Pur. I much rather talk about something that makes sense, not some bullshit about muggleborn's." He sat in the sand next to Kim.

"Have you ever done anything in your life that you truly regret?" Kim asked as she leant back to rest on Sirius's shoulder.

He thought for a moment. "No. Life's not worth living if you regret it. Everyone makes mistakes or stuffs up. It doesn't mean anything."

"I wonder sometimes if I should've done stuff differently."

"Like what?" Sirius asked as he stroked her hair.

"Like Lucius. There were so many things I hated about him, but he intrigued me. Everything he did was for himself, but I would never call him greedy. He could be cruel one minute and charming the next, but he was neither with me. I never loved him, but I felt about him differently than I'd ever felt about anyone else, except you. I always wanted you. I always wanted you to notice me. I never thought it would end up like this. I never thought it would be so…perfect."

Sirius closed his eyes as he listened to her. Kim had not been the only one requiring. He had walked quietly behind her, requiring for her to forget whatever it was that was making her so miserable. She now spoke so freely, not having to hold back, not having to think about what she was saying. It was beautiful. Sirius opened his eyes again and realised that the sun hadn't moved. It was a permanent sunset.

"I never really liked perfect." Sirius said softly. "I thought it was boring. We're anything but perfect and I love it that way."

"I guess you're right."

The two lay there talking until Kim had fallen asleep. Sirius listened to the waves and Kim's gentle breathing, thinking that maybe he was wrong and everything was perfect. With the thought he fell asleep.

* * *

_Sirius walked through the darkness, searching for a light, any light. He heard a voice from behind him._

_"Lets do something so against the rules. And lets get away with it."_

_"What are you saying?" He heard himself say, though his lips didn't move._

_"Do you want to know what I have to say? Fuck them! I say stop thinking about them and start thinking about the people who want to have a good time with you. Don't think about tomorrow because what if it never comes?"_

_They stared at each other. Suddenly, Kim gasped and fell. Sirius reached out to her, but seemed to be getting further and further away._

_He heard his own voice again, but this time it was Kim saying the words._

_"You don't really want to do this, something more powerful is at work here."_

_He tried to reach her but she faded from sight. He could hear her screaming, crying._

_"Kim." He yelled._

_But the darkness enveloped him and he began to spin around and around, faster and faster._

_He had stopped spinning. Lucius Malfoy was standing above him, wand pointed at his heart._

_"Don't tell me what to believe, Black." His evil voice snarled. "Don't think you know better than me."_

_Sirius began to spin again and when he stopped it was dark again. He saw a body on the ground in the distance. He tried to run to it, to see who it was, to see if they were okay. He couldn't let them die. But as he got closer, he began to spin again. He could hear Kim again, screaming and crying._

_He stopped spinning at a graveyard. He was standing on a fresh grave. He could tell the hole had only just been filled in with dirt. He dropped to his knees and tried to read the words. He had to know whose name was on it, but he had begun to spin again._

_Kim's screams were getting louder._

_"Kim" He whispered as he woke up with a jerk._

* * *

**Things are getting interesting, hey? Well please send me a review. i noticed that not many people who have me on their author alert list review my, but I'd love to know what you think so please tell me, it doesn't take long.**


	34. Stunned and Shunned

**Well my beta hasn't got back to me yet (Thanks Sarah) So I'm going to go ahead and post it anyway. I wrote this quite a while ago so I'm not sre how many hints I have dropped, but from now on I'm not making it all so obvious.**

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* * *

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**Chapter 32 ****  
Stunned and Shunned **

"Sirius, what's wrong?" Kim was sitting next to him, looking down into his eyes with her own concerned orbs of hazel.

"Kim, you're okay." Sirius sat up and reached out to touch her, to make sure she was really there. "I…I thought you were…"

"What Sirius?" Kim demanded anxiously.

"I saw Lucius…and he…he had his wand…AND THERE WAS A BODY" He yelled making Kim jump backwards. "And there was…" His voice dropped to a whisper, "There was a grave. Oh, Kim, you were screaming so loud and I couldn't get to you. I couldn't find you."

Kim was staring at him wide-eyed and scared. "It's alright Sirius, everything's alright. It was just a dream." She had forced he face to look concerned and was now reaching out to Sirius and taking his hands in her own.

"I love you Kim. I'll never let anything happen to you. I promise I won't. Please, I promise."

"Nothings going to happen." Kim pulled him into a hug and when he could no longer see her face, she bit her lip nervously. "Ssshhhhh." She hushed. "It was just a dream. I'm right here." She seemed to calm him down and soon he had relaxed enough to go for a walk along the beach with her.

"I'm sorry I over-reacted, Kim. It was really scary, the dream." Sirius was gripping Kim's hand and staring out at the long stretch of sand ahead. "I've never had such chaotic dreams. I've never even had a nightmare before. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Nothing's wrong with you, everyone has nightmares." Kim said calmly.

"Maybe we should be getting back." Sirius sighed and looked back at the door in the distance. It was odd to see a door in the middle of nowhere, leading to nothing.

"Yeah, it's almost lunch." Kim said looking at his watch.

"Were we really asleep for that long?"

"Yeah, it was more than I've slept all week put together." Kim said with a laugh, but not quite as authentic as Sirius would've liked. He suspected that his dream had interrupted his requirement.

"I'm sorry I ruined a perfect date." Sirius muttered.

"Hey, perfect's boring, remember? Just being with you is enough for me." She kissed him on the cheek and then ran away, like a child playing a game. Sirius smiled and ran after her, catching up easily. He grabbed her from behind and tackled her to the ground, showering her with kisses.

They didn't make it back in time for lunch, but it turned out to be the best date they had ever been on.

* * *

Sirius scanned the crowd for Kim. He hadn't seen much of her in the last week, but she'd promised that she would be there in his beating debut. James whistled and the team gathered round him, ready for his words of motivation.

"Have you seen Kim?" Sirius asked before they mounted their brooms.

"Yeah, she was here earlier, while you were on the loo. She said good luck and stuff." James said as he fastened his captain's badge to his robes.

"I knew she wouldn't forget." Sirius declared confidently.

"Slytherin verses Gryffindor? Not even the Hufflepuff's would forget. This is the game of the year." James exclaimed as her signalled his team to mount their brooms.

"Now, stop thinking about Kim and remember your place. You're to concentrate of the bludger's, not the quaffle. You're a beater."

"Right. Forget about Kim." Sirius muttered.

On the ground, Mr. Heath blew his whistle and released the bludgers and the snitch. He threw the quaffle into the air and the game began.

* * *

After a very close, but victorious game, Sirius waited outside the change rooms for Kim. James gave Lily one last kiss and made his way towards Sirius.

"Waiting for me?" James asked.

"Nah, Kim." Sirius replied.

"Oh." James turned away. "I don't think she's coming. I mean, I don't think she came."

"But you said…"

"I wanted to keep your mind on the game so I lied. I haven't seen her since Wednesday."

"Neither have I." Sirius muttered gloomily, all the exhilaration of the game disappearing. "She's been really preoccupied lately, but since…" He trailed off.

"Since what?" James asked, though distracted by the fluttering snitch that was still trying to escape his grasp.

"We, um…we had sex." Sirius muttered.

"Last Saturday, right?" James asked as he shoved the snitch in his pocket. Sirius nodded. "You're not the only one who can notice these things. But I suppose it was kind of obvious by how disturbingly cheerful you were on Sunday arvo." James paused. "It was Sunday morning too."

"No, just Sunday morning." Sirius mumbled. "But that's not the point. She hasn't been alone with me since. Do you remember how I told you our relationship wasn't about sex?"

"Yeah."

"Well now that we've made it about sex it hasn't really been a relationship. She's been avoiding me. She isn't like all my ex's and I'm not like Lucius."

"Padfoot, you loser. Your relationship isn't about sex just because you've had sex. You aren't waiting for her because of sex, you're waiting for her because you love her." James stated simply.

"I never thought about it that way." Sirius said, slightly shocked. "So why is she avoiding me?"

"Maybe she isn't." James started. "But if she is, she probably has a good reason. What else happened on Saturday and Sunday?"

"Well we went to the room of requirement and she required a beach, like the one at Ebony's, and I required her to forget her troubles. Could that have screwed with her brain?"

"Maybe, but that doesn't explain why she's avoiding you. What else?"

"Ummm…okay, well while I was waiting for her outside the Slytherin common room, Snape came out and started bullshitting about how something had happened to her. I fell for it and got kinda violent trying to get info out of him. Kim came out and saw me, maybe that?"

"Could be. No one likes an abusive boyfriend, but you were only being abusive to Snape and because you were worried about her."

"And she knew I was like that with Snape before she started going out with me. It's probably something else."

"Well, what else happened? There has to be something." James said encouragingly.

Sirius suddenly thought to his dream, the images of Lucius Malfoy and the grave pushed their way to the front of his mind. But he did not tell James, he couldn't. How was he supposed to tell his best friend he had almost been reduced to tears because of a stupid dream?

"Nothing. It must be something else. Fuck it, I'll ask her myself. I'll find her tomorrow and ask her straight up what's happening. She can't keep avoiding me forever." Sirius verbalized confidently and he marched out of the pitch, ignoring the fact that he was still in his Quidditch robes. James sighed and walked into the change rooms, pulling the squirming snitch from his pocket.

* * *

**I have a very important question. I need to know what you think. I am planning a sequal to this story, but I would also like to fix this story up because it was lacking at the beginning when i had no idea what direction i wanted to take this. If i re-wrote the story after I've finished it, would anyone read it? Or would you prefer me to go straight onto the sequal? I would re-write it a lot btw, and change the storylines heaps and characters (eg. kim) would be in it from the beginning. I would also include hints from the very beginning and make the story better over all. Please tell me what you think in a review.  
xxxmelxxx**


	35. Hate Every Beautiful Day

**So sorry I haven't gotten around to updating for a while, but here is the next chapter for you.**

* * *

**Chapter 33 ****  
Hate every beautiful day**

"I never thought I would say this, but Sirius is genius. I'd completely forgotten this place after the party." James said as he lay on the beach with Lily, watching the sunset.

"It is rather magnificent." Lily purred.

"I'm glad we got to come here. You were saying a while ago that you wanted to catch up on things." James said suggestively as he took Lily's hand in his own.

"Not now James. It's too beautiful to look away. It's magical really, how remarkably perfect something can be." Lily said staring at the sun sparkling on the water.

"I know exactly what you mean." James replied staring into her eyes.

"But talking about Sirius, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about. Something I couldn't say with the risk of people hearing." She turned away from the sun to look at him. "I found this letter." She pulled Kim's letter out of her pocket and handed it to James to read.

"Dark lord?" James said when he finished reading. "Who?"

"I don't know, but I'm worried about it."

"We have to stop Kim." James said, suddenly motivated.

"No. I've talked to her about it. She's not evil." Lily said calmly.

"And you know that for sure? What if she was lying? It would explain a lot." James pondered, re-reading the letter.

"What?"

"Like why she's been avoiding Sirius."

"She has? Well I guess she hasn't been around a lot lately. I never really noticed. Maybe she is evil."

"Maybe." James muttered as he read the letter over and over. "Maybe it is a sex thing. Just not a Sirius sex thing."

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked in annoyance. "What's a sex thing?"

"I don't know yet. I'll tell you if I find out." James folded the letter back up and gave it to Lily. "Don't let anyone find this. It could lead to a lot more shit than it's worth. If this dark lord guy is for real and someone finds this, Kim could be in a lot of trouble."

"But it doesn't matter if she's evil. Perhaps trouble is what she needs." Lily commented as she tucked the letter back in her pocket.

"Innocent until proven guilty. We're going to need a whole lot more evidence."

* * *

Kim was writing anxiously in her journal, Ris-Ris purring softly in her lap. She looked down at the rushed words and held back her apprehensive tears. She stopped writing for a moment as she heard the door to the dorm open. Staying as still as possible, she listened to the voices.

"He totally blew me off. I ain't stupid."

"Then why did he blow you off? I bet it was that bloody Emma from his study group. She is such a nerd, but really smart."

It was Vanessa and Melissa, her fellow Slytherin seventh years. Kim watched as they picked up their books and left the room again, not noticing her or ignoring her. Either way, Kim was glad they were gone. She wanted to be alone. She looked back down at her journal.

I can't help wondering if this is a sign or just a coincidence. If it is a sign, what does it mean? Does it mean we can't be happy together or does it mean that we are meant for each other?

_I've loved him for so long and I know I'll never stop, but since Sirius and I got together, things have been so complicated. I hope that I can make the right choice._

_I have to keep pretending, I have to keep lying so I can be there for Sirius until next term. I want the rest of his life to be with me. I just wish things didn't have to end._

She put down her quill and turned to the previous page, though her trembling hands made this all the more difficult. She looked at the three pictures she had drawn: The first of a handsome blonde man pointing his wand at a helpless looking Sirius, the second of a dark body and the third of a grave with a dark headstone. She reached for her quill again and slowly wrote a name on the headstone_. _Her tears could not held back any longer and she burst into uncontrollable sobs. Ris-Ris jumped from her lap and ran from the room, leaving her truly alone.

* * *

Sirius had been waiting all day, but Kim did not leave the common room. Sometimes he asked people if they'd seen her, but they mostly ignored him or shrugged. Laura, the fifth year slut, was the only helpful one.

"Well, apparently she's been in her dorm all day." She said as she flicked her hair and winked at some passing second years. "But I haven't seen much of her. Most of us think she's gone crazy, talking in her sleep and sneaking around at all hours of the night. Some of the seventh years won't even sleep when she's around, scared she'll kill them or curse them or something. I find the whole thing rather boring. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with Ravenclaw. I've always known they were the smart ones." She turned and walked away, swinging her hips as she disappeared out of Sirius's sight.

He sighed and sat against the wall, wondering if she was okay. He waited and waited. He wished he could simply break into the dungeon, but knew that since the last time he and his friends had visited, someone had put a jinx on the door so that any non-Slytherin's were hit with a Leg-locker curse. He was there for the return of Laura at about four in the morning and was seriously considering returning to the Gryffindor tower for some sleep when he thought that he might as well stay for another couple of hours. If she was okay she would be going to class and he could talk to her then.

It didn't look like she was okay. Sirius watched all the Slytherin's leave to go to breakfast. All except one.

Actually, two. Sirius noticed that Snape hadn't left the common room for as long as he had been waiting. He thought back to the last time they had met outside the Slytherin common room. Snape had fooled him, made him think that something had happened to Kim. Now Kim and Snape were both in the Slytherin Dungeon. What if Snape had seen how worried Sirius had gotten when he thought Kim was in trouble and had done something to her just to hurt him, what if it was all for the sake of revenge?

Why had Sirius and the Marauders made Snape's life hell? If they hadn't given him as much reason to hate them, this never would've happened.

_What if I've ruined Kim's life for the sake of a few practical jokes?_

* * *

**Sorry it's a bit short, but I like the suspense. What has happened to KIM???????? **

**Thanks for all the reviews, I've actually come up with some great ideas for the re-write or maybe even my next fic or sequal. So any ideas will be greatly appreciated.**

**xxxmelxxx**


	36. Crashing Down

**So sorry guys. I've just gone back to school, so I have slackened off a bit, but in a couple of weeks i hope to update very regularly because I want to finish. Please be patient with me!**

**Also, I'm definately re-writing this and I need to know what you all think I should change or add, etc. Especially in the first 20 or so chapters. **

**Sorry if everyone seems a bit bitchy in this chapter, but scandal and suspense are just great. Conflict has been planned for a very near chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 34 ****  
Crashing Down**

Kim finished her letter to Lucius and got up from her bed. As she did, she got a glimpse of herself in the mirror opposite her.

_Oh, Merlin. I look like a complete scrag. Even Laura doesn't look like this much of a bloody derro._

She pulled her hair back and put on some new clothes, hoping that no one would notice her pale, tired face. She folded the heavy parchment and stuck it into her pocket.

* * *

Ris-Ris had left the dungeon and found a worried Sirius. This gave Sirius the patience to wait a few more hours.

_I can't give up. I can't just leave._

It wasn't until early afternoon that anyone else left the dungeon, about an hour after most students had gone to classes after break. When Kim's face appeared from the passage leading out of the Slytherin common room, Sirius's heart skipped several beats and then worked overtime trying to make them up.

"Kim, there you are. Why haven't you gone to class? Why do you look so sick?" Sirius asked anxiously as he held her in his arms.

"Umm…I am sick. Really bad. I was just going to the Hospital wing to see if I could get a potion or something." Kim said nervously.

"I'll walk you and make sure you get there okay." Sirius said quickly and let her up the stairs and towards the hospital wing.

"No, you go to class. I'll be fine." Kim said as they walked. Sirius said nothing, but slid his hand into hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. She smiled to herself and they walked the rest of the way in a calming silence.

* * *

After being kicked out of the hospital wing by Madame Murphy and dropping Ris-Ris off at the Slytherin Dungeon, Sirius decided he might as well not go to class. There was only half of the last period left and he would only disrupt the lesson, so he started towards the Gryffindor Tower to change his clothes before heading back down to the kitchens to steal some food. He was distracted, however, by the door opposite the portrait of Barnaby the Barmy. The door that shouldn't be there. The door that only appears when someone requires it to. He was not the type to snoop, but no one knew how to use the room except himself and his friends. He pulled out his wand and mumbled "_Trisnoptisia." _ And the door became pervious to sound. As he leant his ear to the door, he was horrified to hear what was going on inside.

(A/N Who here has a dirty mind???)

_"So that's what's been going on. That's all I know." _Lily's voice said softly.

_"What do you guys know?" _That was James's.

_"Nowhere near as much as you guys. I was kind of suspecting that something was going on, but nothing serious. This is freaky. Maybe she's on drugs, but I swear I didn't give them to her." _Ebony replied, as she lit up a Wiccapot joint.

_"Maybe we should talk to Kim about it." _Remus suggested. _"She's the only one who knows what's going on."_

Sirius silently thanked Remus for his trust, and then continued listening.

_"Have you seen her lately? She's avoiding Sirius and no one knows where she is." _James retorted.

_"And if she's evil, she's not going to tell us. She's keeping secrets and I think it's because they're about whom she really is. I think she's not the person we all think she is. I don't think she's ever changed." _Lily said calmly, but with a hint of disgust.

_"I think she's still fucking Malfoy. He's been sending her letters and she's been keeping his secrets…" _James started.

Lily interrupted. _"And he's obviously evil."_

_"But Sirius trusts her and doesn't want to believe anything's wrong with her." _Remus's comment was supported with various confirmations. _"Then maybe he's simply too in love to see. Or maybe she's the one making him blind, but not through love. What if he's under the Imperial curse? What if she is controlling him…for some reason."_

_"Because she's evil." _Lily repeated.

_"We have to find out for sure. She could be evil or with Lucius or Sirius could be under a curse, or maybe she _is _on drugs. We need proof." _Ebony said. _"We need to…spy."_

_"Espionage." _Remus muttered. _"I guess it's the best way."_

Sirius stepped back from the door as he heard a bell sound in the distance. Class was over. He kicked the wall and stormed downstairs.

How can they think about Kim like that? Why can't they trust her? Why can't they trust me?

He reached the Entrance Hall and trudged outside, just because he had no idea where he was going.

But I think I might know what's going on. What if they have the right idea? Kim has been odd lately and she does have an evil ex-boyfriend. What if Lucius Malfoy has put her under a curse? Maybe she's sick because she's trying to fight it? I might be the only one that can help her.

His feet had led him to the Quidditch Pitch. He was about to turn around and go back to the castle when he heard a voice behind him, a heavily accented voice.

"You don't look like a happy chappie." It was Casey, obviously about to start a personal practice.

"My girlfriends sick." Sirius said, not knowing what else to say.

"Kimberley, right?" Sirius nodded at her. "She's a nice lass, she used to be friends with my brother, Ben. Or we called him Buster. Do you remember him? He was in Kimberley's year."

"Buster Schofield? Didn't he go missing?" Sirius asked.

"Missing, yes, that's what everyone was told. He's dead." She said bluntly.

"How do you know for sure?" Sirius asked, though not really caring.

"Ah, that's a question that you should ask your ill lass. She's the one that told me, in a way. She didn't tell me directly, but it was because of her that I know." Casey didn't notice the perplexed look that had possessed Sirius's face. "Do you fancy a fly? The weather's quite fine for a spot of Quidditch, don't you think?"

She never got a reply. Sirius had turned and ran back to the castle.

When he got to the hospital wing, he burst into the room he had left Kim at and saw her sitting in a nearby bed.

"Do you love me?" He said angrily as he stared at Kim.

"What?" Kim asked, shocked.

"Do you love me?" He repeated.

"I think you know the answer." Kim said quietly.

"Do you love me?" He said again.

"Yes."

"So you would never keep a secret from me unless you had to, unless its because I shouldn't know or you could get hurt if you told me." He demanded.

"Secrets? I only keep secrets when it's the only option. I tell you more than anyone."

"And that's the truth?"

"That's the truth."

"Then I believe you." Sirius turned and left the room, leaving Kim with nothing but her thoughts and a roomful of questioning eyes.

* * *

**What do you think? Please review.**


	37. The road I'm on

**Chapter 35 ****  
The Road I'm On**

Sirius visited Kim everyday for the rest of the week. She looked a lot better than she did on the night that he had taken her to the hospital wing and he didn't know why she was still in there. He never questioned her though, he knew that everything had a reason and he didn't need to know them all.

"Why won't you spend the holidays with me? I'll miss you so much." Sirius sighed as he lay on the bed next to her. It was the last day of term and the train back to Kings Cross Station would be leaving in a few hours.

"I have too much work to catch up on. I have NEWTs in a couple of weeks." Kim replied as she played with his hair.

"Well stay at school. You don't have to go home to do work. Stay at school, I can stay too. It's not like I really want to go home."

"It's your mother's birthday and you're too much of a distraction. How am I meant to study with you hanging around?" Kim said with a trivial laugh.

"My mother would prefer me not to come home. She hates me and I hate her. We're one big family of hate, you know. We're not happy unless we're glaring angrily at each other. God, I hate them. Even if you don't stay, I think I will." Sirius growled.

"I know you hate them, but family is important. Do you understand that?" Kim said sternly.

Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by an angry yell from the matrons office.

"Sirius Black. I've told you a thousand times; the beds are for the sick, not for your comfort." Madame Murphy screamed shrilly.

"Believe me, this bed is giving me anything but comfort." He replied as he sat up. He turned to Kim. "I better go but I'll see you on the train."

He gave her a long kiss and left the room.

He had not seen his friends much in the past week. He could not talk to James, Remus, Lily or Ebony without thinking of the conversation he had overheard in the room of requirement. He had been spending most of his time with Kim in the Hospital wing or sleeping. He knew Kim was not evil or having an affair. He knew in his heart that she would never do anything wrong, but only when he was with her. When he was away from her, his mind wandered and questions forced themselves to be asked.

_Why does she still talk to Lucius Malfoy? He's evil, isn't he? _

_Why does she act odd when I talk about the past? Or the future? It's like right now is the only thing important to her and she refuses to change her ways._

_Why can't she tell me her secrets? She knows mine. Why am I asking these questions when I know she's innocent? _

That night he boarded the train with his friends and Kim was as happy as ever. She was smiling and laughing and talking like the Kim he knew and loved, but Sirius was worried. The others were acting suspiciously, giving each other strange looks when Kim wasn't looking or asking her questions about why she was in the Hospital wing for so long and was apparently fine. Kim answered the questions as if she didn't notice the peculiarity of it all, but Sirius watched sourly and atypically silent. He hated the mistrust and the uncertainty. He wanted everything to be normal and his life to be as carefree and fun-filled as it was before…before he met Kim, but he didn't want to lose Kim. He loved her too much to give her up, even if that meant changing his ways and thinking seriously about something. He wanted to be with Kim, even if it meant giving up mischief and looking to the future. Even if it meant getting a job and settling down. He was willing to sacrifice it all, all of his carefree selfish happiness for true happiness.

When the others had given up on their interrogation, Ebony and Remus excused themselves and moved to a more private compartment at the end of the train, one with a lock. Sirius looked at James and Lily's nervous looks and sighed.

"I think they had the right idea." He took Kim's hand and pulled her from the compartment and down the corridor. When they found an empty section, Sirius closed the door and pulled down the privacy curtain. He turned to Kim to apologise for his friends' behaviours, but she had broken out in silent tears. Sirius wrapped his arms around her and leant his chin on her head.

"I'm sorry about them. They're idiots. They don't know you like I do." Sirius said apologetically, although Kim's silent tears had now become painful sobs. He could feel her tears soak through his shirt. The train lurched and the two lost their balance, falling to the ground. Sirius moved to get back up, but Kim did not seem to want to move and they stayed in each other's clutches. Her weeping continued for the rest of the journey. When a magically magnified voice announced the arrival at platform nine and three quarters, Kim sat up and tried to hold back her tears. Sirius reached out and held her head in his hands.

"Cry. Let it all out." He hushed.

Kim shook her head and gulped. "I-I can't. We ha-have to g-go. Oh Merlin, I ca-can't g-go out th-there looking like thi-is." She sobbed.

"You look beautiful." Sirius lied as he wiped her tears with his already tear-stained shirt. He held his sleeve to her nose. "Do you want to blow?"

Kim gave a small laugh and pulled herself into his embrace again, breathing deeply. "Give me my wand. I'll charm my way out of this one."

"Well I'm supposed to be the charming one, but go ahead." Sirius said as he passed her wand. "But listen, the others didn't mean what they said. They're just…they don't understand."

"Neither do you." Kim said, now looking like she had never shed a tear in her life. "Why do you stay with me when I keep so much from you?"

"Because I love you." Sirius leant towards Kim to give her a final kiss, but was interrupted by the compartment door opening.

"There you are. We're all waiting for you. Hurry up." It was Regulus, looking mildly irritated.

Sirius watched his brother's retreating back and turned back to Kim. "I should go or I'll be left here." He stood up and was about to leave, but paused, bent down and kissed Kim before leaving. "I love you."

* * *

**Please review. The end is near and you will find out what is happening quicker if you review me your thoughts.**


	38. Here Without You

**So sorry I haven't posted. I've been trying to but something was wrong with the site and I couldn't log in.** **The rest of my story has been planned, so hopefully I can put off my assignments a bit longer to finish this off for you all. Thanks, thanks, thanks (times 10000) to Kim and Sarah who are the most fantastically helpful people. Kim who motivates me and Sarah who critically beta's me. Snaps for Kim and Sarah! And keep the reviews coming, I want to know what you're thinking. I want to get inside your brain.** **Just a little reply to the review by _Stephmurden _Thanks for your review, you sound so much like me. I can't read a sentence if it has a mistake, but I can't take all the credit, I make plenty of mistake which my wonderful beta Sarah fixes up! And don't worry, the ending is great and I also have plans for a sequal.** **

* * *

** **Chapter 36 ****  
Here without you **

The first hour that Sirius was home dragged by like it was a month. He sat on his bed polishing his beater's bat, thinking about everything that had happened in the past few months. All he could really see was Kim. He was not tired, but all he wanted to do was sleep; sleep away the thoughts and pain, but thoughts and pain are what kept him going. He needed to find something real and nothing at the house of Black could be considered real. He only had Kim. Everything was Kim and Kim was everything. It was that night that Sirius realised what being in love was. It was everything.

"Happy Birthday mother." Sirius said to his mother the next morning. He handed her an envelope with nothing but a card with the words _From Sirius _scrawled inside. "Sorry I didn't have time to buy you anything."

Mrs Black smiled weakly. "Thank you son."

Mr Black entered the room and Sirius jumped from his seat. "Father, I want to talk to you." He had never got to sleep the night before and was instead forced to think about how he wanted his life to end up.

His father nodded and the two left the room. "What is it? Come to ask for money again? Regulus never needs extra money."

"I don't need money. I just want to tell you that…that I think I will be asking…" For the first time in his life, Sirius was lost for words. "Do you remember Kimberley Grima?"

"Short, brown hair, nice smile, right? She's friends with that Malfoy fella, Narcissa's boyfriend."

"Um…yeah. Well the two of us have gotten…close this year. We started dating earlier this year and things are starting to get serious. I think I want to marry her after I finish school." Sirius said slowly.

His mother had been standing by the door listening to the conversation. "Absolutely not. I know about her, Narcissa has told us all about her schemes. She's only after your money, son."

"She's not. Narcissa's just jealous because the guy she loves is in love with Kim, who I love."

"Love?" Scoffed his father. "You wouldn't know how to love. Your mother and I have done nothing but provide you with the best of everything and you have never shown the slightest hint of gratitude."

"I don't care what you think, I just thought I should tell you." Sirius yelled above his father's voice.

"How dare you disrespect me!"

"You and your respect. Why the hell should I respect someone who treats me like shit." Sirius snapped.

"Because everyone should be treated the way they deserve to be treated."

"Then you should be treated like an old fool who cares more about bloodlines and money than his son's happiness." Sirius lowered his tone and spoke calmly and clearly, something that took a lot of focus. "And before you ask, Kim's a fullblood, not that I care. She could be a squib and I'd marry her."

"You don't understand anything, son."

"Son? Now I'm your son. I guess someone up there hates me, to make me your son." Sirius breathed deep breathes as he forced self control.

"It's not like I ever wanted you to be my son."

The two stared at each other intensely. For a few moments there was nothing but silence. Then Mrs Black interrupted from the doorway of the kitchen.

"What did we ever do to deserve you? A son who doesn't want to be our son in a world that is so confusing."

"It's not confusing if you have something to believe in, but unfortunately I don't believe anything you do. There's only one thing I believe in: Trust. You don't exhibit any or have any in your existence."

"When did you start having morals and using words like exhibit." Regulus had come downstairs and joined the conversation.

"The day I stopped being your brother. I'm going. I can't be here anymore." Sirius was shocked with what he had just told his family, but realised it was the only way he could escape them. "Bye."

And with that he walked out the door and disappeared down the street.

* * *

Sirius wandered the streets for a few hours, aware that he had nothing but his wand and a dozen sickles. He ended up in front of Ebony's place, trying desperately to remember if she had mentioned where she was staying. He couldn't remember and just hoped she would be in her London Mansion.

It wasn't. A house elf, Morris, answered the door and told Sirius to go away. Sirius sighed and wished he hadn't spent so many years playing pranks on Morris. He meandered some more, thinking about where else he could go. He wanted so desperately to go to Kim's, to see her and be with her, but didn't want to trouble her with his burdens. She needed some time to think, he couldn't go there. Remus and Lily had stayed at school to study for the upcoming exams; he didn't want to go there. There was only James. He could try to find Ebony, but when someone owns twenty eight assorted dwellings, they are hard to find.

He felt so betrayed by James. Yes, they were _all _talking about Kim behind his back, but James was meant to be his best friend. The two had never kept anything from each other and Sirius had never found a reason to ever dislike James, until recently.

James was the only option, though, so Sirius changed his direction and headed towards the muggle train station.

* * *

James was playing Quidditch with his father. Sirius hated feeling so resentful and jealous, but James really had it all, the girl of his dreams, a father who was more like a good friend, money, good looks and a great future. Sirius felt like he only had Kim…and his good looks.

Sirius's feelings were soon replaced with the reckless freedom he loved and missed. He had no problems or burdens when he was with his best friend playing Quidditch and laughing carelessly. He didn't understand why his resentment had disappeared, but he recognised situations from his past that could be cured just by hanging out with James. He knew that he couldn't just fly away his fears and apprehension, but he could forget them for a few hours. So he did.

Later that week, he realised how selfish he had been lately, thinking that he was the only one with fears and burdens. James's parents went out to a party and left Sirius and James alone in the house. They should've known from experience that this is never a good idea, but sometimes smart people could be stupid. The Potter's were really, really smart.

"You remember how Dumbledore reckons I could be head boy?" James asked as he dumped a pile of sticks in the middle of his backyard.

"Yeah." Sirius replied, dumping his several heavy logs.

"Well I've been thinking about this heaps lately and I've made my decision, I think." James said uncertainly.

"What have you been thinking? I thought you would've known straight off whether you want it or not."

"I thought I did. I thought that it would be cool to have power and stuff and I am a good leader, you have to admit."

"Best Quidditch captain for years, mate."

"Exactly. I would be an all right Head Boy. Heaps better than Barty or Archie and the only other real competition is Amos, but most people think he's just a pretty boy."

"He is a pretty boy, but so are you." Sirius said as he followed James back to the woodpile.

"Chicks vote for pretty boys, guys vote for ace Quidditch players, the question is not whether I could get it, but if I want to."

"Do you want to?"

"I didn't. I figured that if I became Head Boy I would have to stop the pranks and constant Snape anguishing, but I've realised something else." James paused as he tried to put what he was thinking into words.

"That you can still do pranks if you're Head Boy? I reckon it will help you get out of stuff easier."

"No. Well, yeah that's true, but I was thinking something else."

"What?"

"We haven't played a prank for ages. We don't need the pranks to have fun anymore; we have our girls and stuff. Yeah, we still piss Snape off and muck around with class and stuff, but we're not the same Marauders as we used to be. We're different people and I'm a different person and…I want to be head boy." James finished dramatically.

"We're becoming Moony." Sirius said with a grin.

James shuddered. "I never thought I would ever grow up."

"But there's no way of escaping it Prongs."

"We'll always be friends right, Padfoot? Like, all this stuff with Kim, what we've been thinking about her and stuff, it's not really true. I know she's not evil. Sure, I don't like her being friends with Lucius and stuff, but I don't really think you could love anyone unless you trusted them. I'm sorry I've fucked around so much, I know you're right about her."

"You have absolutely no idea how great it is to hear you say it, Prongs. Thank you for trusting me. And yes, we'll always be best mates." Sirius dumped some more wood and took out his wand. "But you aren't going to stop the mischief yet, are you Prongsie?"

James's face split into a manic grin as Sirius lit the fire with a quick swish of his wand.

* * *

Sirius woke up with a groan and looked around the room. The sun shone in through the window causing Sirius to close his eyes again.

"Don't worry Padfoot, there's still one more day of holidays." James was sitting at his desk reading a huge book entitled _A_ _brief tutorial in Extension Charms, Volume 5._

"Since when do you study?"

"If you took Flitwick's extension class, you'd know. Remember the good old days when Charms was a bludge? I miss those days."

"Let's just have breakfast." Sirius said thinking as far into the future as he could. He didn't want to think of the next day. He was nervous about seeing Kim, he was never nervous when it came to girls, but Kim wasn't just any girl.

"Let's go out for breakfast. I gotta get some stuff and I'm really sick of this place. Let's go to Diagon Ally."

"Can't we eat and then go out for breakfast?"

* * *

Diagon Ally was a lovely shade of purple, literally. Someone had had charmed everything from the plants to the shop fronts to the short man selling various plants a lovely hue of violet.

Ebony, Remus and Lily were purchasing things in Diagon Ally when they passed a familiar face, it was Kim with Suspious, a pureblood who had been friends with Kim, but had finished school in the previous year.

"Let's see how this turns out." Remus said, raising an eyebrow at the thought of Kim being friendly with a known mudblood hater.

"Yes, let's spy," said Ebony with a note of excitement in her voice, perhaps sounding a little to enthusiastic.

Ebony, Remus and Lily went into _Capella Suoenso, _a cafe opposite Knockturn Ally that had a great view of the street from the large clean window. They took turns in keeping a look out for Kim and buying drinks.

"She has to be evil." Lily informed the others as she finished her tea. "Why would she go into Knockturn Ally if she wasn't?"

"I go to Knockturn Ally." Remus reminded her. "I'm not evil, I just have an extremely good reason for needing the acquisition of chains and bars."

"And my father does a lot of business in Knockturn Ally. Just because his customers aren't all that reliable, it doesn't mean he isn't, but I do agree with you. I am also suspicious that Suspious and Kim went into Knockturn Ally. They didn't have a reason."

An hour later, Kim and Suspious returned; Kim with a brown package under her arm and looking rather dubious. However, they were not alone, someone else had walked out of Knockturn Ally with them…Lucius Malfoy.__

Suspious left and headed toward a nearby Severus Snape. Kim and Lucius headed down Diagon Ally, with Ebony, Remus and Lily in close pursuit.

Remus suddenly stopped and said quietly. "We need to have more stealth, fall back and try to look casual."

Sirius and James had just arrived and Sirius' growling stomach had lead them to a diner that sold every one of Sirius's thirty five favorite meals. However, they didn't quite make it inside the door because out of the corner of his eye James had seen the shine of familiar crimson braids. "Hey Padfoot, it's Lils." James said with a sudden realisation. "What are they doing here? Why weren't we invited?"

"I don't know, but it looks like they're trying to act secretively, they suck." Sirius laughed. It was true. Remus was acting casual enough, but Lily and Ebony were sneaking around corners and hiding behind various plants and stalls. Occasionally, the two girls would catch each other's eyes and burst into fits of giggles.

"Let's see what they're up to." James commanded as he and Sirius set off after them. Remus, Ebony and Lily moved pretty fast, but Sirius and James were the two best Pranksters in Hogwarts history and intelligence was now work of second nature to them.

Ebony, Remus and Lily had stopped next to a hedge outside a romantic restaurant, watching two people on the other side. Kim and Lucius were talking quietly for a while, but then stood up and walked to the other side of the table to where Kim was sitting. He knelt down next to her and reached into his pocket, pulling out a box, which contained a stunning diamond ring in the shape of a rose.

"Kim." He said lovingly. "I know I have asked you before and I know that you have not been ready, but I really think that now is the right time." He paused. "Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"__

"There you are," James exclaimed loudly. Remus, Ebony and Lily jumped and turned to see James and Sirius standing behind them.

"Damn, just when it was getting good," whispered Ebony.

Lily stood up and kissed James on the cheek. "Haven't seen you in a while." James smiled and gave her a kiss on the mouth.

"What are you guys up to?" Sirius asked with a hint of distrust.

"We were just checking to see if these bushes had anything that could be used for a new Wiccapot formula, you know how I love experimenting, that's why I'm so good at potions, it's like mixing cocktails!" Ebony said quickly. "This is a particularly healthy batch." She gave a nervous giggle.

"I think you've had enough experimental Wiccapot for one day, Ebony." Remus said with a grin.

"Ummm, ok, how about we get something to eat?" Sirius said, not quite believing Wiccapot was the only thing disrupting Ebony's normality.

"Yeah I'll just go in and ask the owner of the shop if it's readily available, I'll catch up with you guys later." Ebony sprinted towards the entrance and disappeared from sight. She appeared after about half an hour looking oddly dumbfounded.

"I'm guessing they couldn't help you." Sirius said when she didn't say anything.

"Oh, no. They were bitches. Let's go."

After a few hours of shopping and eating, Sirius and James said goodbye to the others and walked back towards the Leaky Cauldron. When James turned around to blow Lily a kiss, he was shocked to find that the others had disappeared from his sight. He shrugged and ignored it; they were probably in a hurry to get back to school.

Ebony, Remus and Lily were jogging in the opposite direction to James and Sirius. When they were certain they would not be heard, Ebony turned to face the other two with her eyes wide. "I saw them, but they didn't see me…they were a bit…busy." She whispered quickly. "They were hugging…I think she said yes."

* * *

**Nice and long, by my standards. This chapter took a lot of work, so tell me what you think about it.**


	39. Wasted Me

**I like this chapter because there's conflict, scandal and suspision! Sorry it took so long but i was waiting for my beta, who hasn't gotten back to me because she has a life (unlike me) so i'm assuming nothings wrong with this and posting it. I have a billion assignments for school and my mum's told me i can't go on the computer until i clean my room, so i will have to write when I have time and privacy. Hopefully that will be soon because I have a great ending. Thanks for all the reviews and support. Thanks to Kim for everything and i hope Marley is ok (If anyone finds a cat fitting Ris-Ris's description wandering in Quakers Hill, tell me) and thanks to Nick for the password. Now to the story...**

* * *

**Chapter 37 ****  
Wasted Me**

Sirius heaved James's trunk onto the train and jumped on after it. He pulled it to the nearest empty compartment. He watched as James kissed his parents goodbye and ran his hand through his hair, then got on the train to find him. He had only just sat down when Remus, Ebony and Lily entered.

"Weren't you guys at school? Why are you on the train?" Sirius asked.

"Good to see you too." Ebony huffed. "And we were out late last night and we missed the last train back to Hogsmeade so we stayed at the leaky cauldron."

"Oh, well that makes sense. Well, did you have breakfast? I slept in and I'm absolutely starving. Do you reckon Doris would let me get in early?"

"You can try Padfoot, and get me a couple of cauldron cakes while you're there." Remus said as he handed over a couple of sickles.

"And I haven't had a chocolate frog for years. Can you shout me one?" Ebony added.

Soon Sirius had set off with a list of orders from the others.

He had been gone for about fifteen minutes when someone else entered.

"Hi Kim." James said, oblivious to the nervous glances between Lily and Ebony. "How were your holidays?"

"Oh, uneventful. I was kinda bored, just doing homework and stuff, you know." Kim said as she sat down next to James.

"Liar, liar." Ebony yelled as she jumped up off her seat and pointed angrily at Kim.

"You're a conniving little slut bitch." Lily added. "You've been seeing Lucius behind Sirius's back…"

"And now you're getting married…" Ebony interrupted.

"And you haven't got the guts to break it up with him." Lily continued.

"Married?" Kim said slowly. "I'm not getting married."

"But Lucius proposed and then you were hugging him." Ebony spat, glaring icily, her left eye twitching slightly.

"I was only hugging him because he was crying." Kim explained.

"He was crying with happiness." Ebony yelled.

"Because you finally said yes." Lily added.

"He was crying because I told him I never would and told him that he was ruining our friendship by wanting more from it. I told him that he might as well marry someone who loved him, like Narcissa…"

"Narcissa, that stupid bitch. Why are you talking about her?" Sirius said as he entered the compartment with his arms full of food. He dumped the pile in James's lap, unaware of his confused expression and turned to Kim. "How are you going?" He asked, forgetting his last comment and turning his full attention to her.

"Great, now you're here." Kim said as she accepted a kiss from Sirius and sat next to James.

The train ride back to school was as uneventful as Kim had said her holiday was. The boys talked about the upcoming Quidditch final for most of the journey, but Ebony and Lily spent their time giving each other meaningful looks and glancing at Kim nervously from time to time.

Sirius was too busy staring at Kim lovingly to notice.

* * *

The first few weeks of school flew by. To everyone's surprise, the teachers were reasonable with their homework and the students had time to relax and do other things that teenagers do.

It was late Friday night when Lily and James were interrupted from their usual Friday night hobby, which took place in a wonderfully private room that only four people knew the existence of. Too bad one of the four was Remus.

"James, Lily, are you guys decent?" He asked as he entered, eyes shut tightly.

"Yes Moony." James replied, lipstick smudged across his mouth.

"Oh great. I just wanted a quick word with Lily. Um, you know the prefect bathroom?"

"Yes." Lily said nervously trying to tidy her hair.

"Well the password's changed."

"Oh, yeah. They changed it last week…when you were…you know." Lily said relaxing slightly as she realised that Remus was likely to be spending the night doing worse than what she and James had been doing. "Thinking about having a bath, hey?"

"Exactly." At that moment Ebony's voice sounded from the doorway, asking if Remus had the password yet. "I didn't say I would be alone." Remus said, grinning.

"The password is _tamariki_." Lily grinned. "Have fun."

"I will." Remus assured her as he left the room.

* * *

Sirius sat in his Potions class, staring at the words on the blackboard and letting a yawn escape him. He sighed and moved his eyes from the board to his teacher. Professor Kumar was possibly the stupidest teacher Hogwarts had seen and was most certainly the easiest to prank. He didn't have the brain capacity to remember Sirius and James's names so they didn't often get in trouble. Sirius didn't want to play a prank, though, he just wanted to get out and go somewhere else. So he waited until Professor Kumar had turned his back and then quietly got to his feet. It wasn't long before he had made his way across the classroom and snuck out the open door. He could hear the cheering of his classmates echoing through the dungeons and grinned as he imagined Kumar's confused expression at the sudden outburst. He jogged up some stairs and thought vaguely about heading to the Quidditch pitch, but then remembered that Kim had History of Magic when he had Potions.

It wasn't hard to get into Kim's class. Sirius had shown up to History of Magic late for almost six years and Professor Binns had never noticed once. Kim was sitting in the back corner writing feverishly.

_Not even Moony takes notes in History. I never knew Kim was so into class._

But when he sat in the empty chair behind her, he realized that she was not writing, but drawing a picture of the Whomping Willow, which was standing perfectly still in the distance. She looked up at Sirius as he sat and turned to a new page of her notebook, an obvious muggle purchase. She wrote the word _hi _and drew a smiley face next to it.

"He doesn't hear when you talk." Sirius muttered. "At least I don't think he does."

"But some people are actually here to learn. I didn't want to distract them." Kim said quietly.

Kirstin Kent turned from the seat in front of Sirius. "But then some of us just take this class to bludge." She whispered. Sirius noticed that she had almost a metre of parchment on the Wizarding fight against Communism. He sighed, not really caring about how the Wizard's helped muggles fight against muggle politics.

"Do you want to go to Hogsmeade?" Sirius asked Kim.

"Yeah, okay." Kim replied as she packed her bag quietly and followed Sirius out of the classroom. He checked his map and nodded to her. The two jogged towards closest passage to Hogsmeade and made their way to the village.

They spent the afternoon in the three broomsticks and then walked around talking for the rest of the night. Sirius hadn't seen Kim so relaxed for months and wanted it to last as long as possible.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" Sirius asked as he realized how late it was. "My friend owns a bed and breakfast up the road where we can stay for half price or we could just hang out in the shrieking shack. What do you think?"

"I've already missed out on half a day and I really can't afford to stuff up my NEWTs." Kim argued.

Sirius smiled sweetly at her.

She grinned and grabbed his hand, walking towards the shrieking shack. "We can't spend all day though."

* * *

Lily, Ebony and Remus walked alongside the lake, talking about Kim's unusually usual behaviour.

"I can't believe how normal she has been." Ebony moaned.

"We never thought that by spying on her we would find out that she's…evil, or whatever. We just thought that we would keep an eye on her and see if our vague suspicions have any sort of evidence…" Remus started.

"No. I always thought she was evil." Lily sighed.

"Then why has she done nothing but spend her time studying or going out with Sirius?" Remus argued.

"Because she's boring and evil." Lily fought back. "And she might suspect that we're onto her because of the whole Lucius marriage thing. She knows that she has to be careful."

"Well I don't think she really needs to be that careful with you guys spying on her. It's been ten minutes and you still haven't noticed her hanging around the Forbidden Forest." Remus said smugly.

"Where? Oh, so she is. She does look a bit…odd." Ebony whispered, cocking her head to one side as if to make her look less odd.

"Is that Snape?" Lily asked as she pointed to a small boy making his way towards Kim from the castle. "Yes, yes it is." Lily answered herself.

"And that's the package that she had in Knockturn Ally." Remus said as she ran to greet him. "She's giving it to him."

"Why is she giving Snape a package that she got in Knockturn Ally?" Ebony asked.

"Maybe there's a reasonable explanation for this, like if Kim got Snape some hair care products." Remus suggested weakly.

Lily narrowed her eyes and watched the exchange. Kim had simply given Snape the package and then left, heading back to the castle. Lily looked at her friends. "Or maybe we just got our evidence."

* * *

**I know i just cleared Kim with the whole marriage thing, but I had to have my fun. I've decided that I am no longer doing the sequal, or not for a while at least. But don't worry, I'm planning to write another fic instead.**


	40. Down Poison

**I'm sooooo sorry about the wait! Hopefully the next four chapters will be up soon. Yes FOUR chapters!!!!! I hope you enjoy them.**

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* * *

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**Chapter 38****  
Down Poison**

"All year the teachers have been going on and on about us all needing to be prepared for NEWTs, but it's only just hit me." Frank whispered as he studied with Lily and Remus in the library.

"Yeah, all Kim does is study these days." Lily said, mostly to herself. It was true. Lily, Ebony and Remus had been putting Kim through constant surveillance since they had seen her exchange with Snape and so far they had only witnessed her studying, eating and sleeping. She had spent some time with Sirius, but these short meetings were filled with talk about counter-curses and the amount of Orchanite put into a Sythonea potion. The three now took it in turns to watch her.

"Kim is pretty smart though. She can study by herself. I always have to study with someone else. I have most of my classes with Kirstin so we're helping each other through those and Kim is my brilliant astronomy helper, but Herbology and Divinations are so hard. Sometimes Alice Chapman helps me out with Herbology, but she is really good and most of the things she says go straight over my head." Frank whispered frantically.

"Well Ebony is really good at Herbology and since she's a year younger than you, she should make some more sense." Remus said with a hint of pride.

"Wait…" Lily searched her memory for what she was looking for.

_"So, Divinations." Lily commented, looking down at the book entitled _Is Knowing the Future a Gift or a Burden?__

"Yeah, its pretty boring, really." Kim cleared her throat. "Well, I should go now. Hagrid said he would help me with my Care of Magical Creatures homework."

"Doesn't Kim do Divinations?" Lily asked, remembering the book Kim was reading, the one with the letter from Lucius inside it.

"No." Frank said absently. "She said she considered it, but that she didn't need it and did Care of Magical Creatures instead."

"So she does do Magical Creatures?"

Remus chuckled to himself. "Do Magical Creatures." He continued laughing softly, but stopped when he realised Frank and Lily were staring nervously at him. "Sorry, I've been spending too much time with Sirius and James. They've warped my mind. "What was the point?"

"The point is we have to go meet Ebony." Lily said as she grabbed Remus and pulled him towards the doors.

They ran along the corridor and down a flight of stairs. Soon they arrived at an empty classroom. "She's not there." Remus said as he looked inside. "So Kim's moved somewhere that Ebony couldn't see from here. Let's try the Great Hall. She might have gone for an early dinner."

Ebony was in the Great Hall, but Kim could not be seen. "She noticed me and I didn't want to be obvious so I left, but it looked like she was heading towards the Slytherin Common room."

"Let's go for a walk. Lily has to tell us something." Remus said as he nodded his head towards the Entrance Hall.

"It's too cold outside. Do you want to go to the Wiccapot Room?" Ebony asked.

"Yeah, but we have to hurry. The suspense is killing me." Remus said as he grabbed Ebony's hand and led the way to the Wiccapot room. They had almost reached the room when James stopped them.

"Where are you guys going in such a hurry?" James asked as he joined the group.

"Weren't you going to have Quidditch Practice?" Lily interjected.

"You answer my question and I'll answer yours." James said with a grin.

"Wiccapot room." Ebony said quickly.

"Practice has been moved to tomorrow. Why are you looking so nervous?" James asked, still grinning.

"Do you want to come with us? I think you should hear this too." Lily asked. James nodded and followed them to the Wiccapot room.

"I'm guessing this is about Kim." James said as they entered.

"Yes."

"You know I think she's okay. Sirius wouldn't love her unless she was all right. I trust him and he trusts her…" James started.

"She lies about stupid things, little things. She told me she did Divinations, but she doesn't. Why would she lie about something like that?" Lily interrupted. "I think it all comes down to the fact that she's in Slytherin and Slytherins can't be trusted, and we're fooling ourselves if we think that all this stuff has good reasoning behind it and one day it will all just…fall into place."

"Kim isn't really like all the other Slytherin's." James responded.

"Then why is she in Slytherin?" Lily retorted. "We all know that Slytherins are evil."

"Actually, Slytherins just want power." Remus corrected her.

"Kim doesn't want power." James muttered. "She hates people like that, that think power is everything and all power is good power. She was telling us at lunch a couple of days ago."

"So you're saying she doesn't want any power?" Lily asked. A silence followed.

"Well, maybe she has power." Ebony said, breaking the quiet. Remus, James and Lily all stared at her with open mouths. Ebony shrugged. "It was only a suggestion."

"If you weren't a blonde druggo, you could be a genius!" Ebony wasn't sure whether to take James's comment as a complement or an insult.

* * *

It was the Friday of many tensions and anxiety. Saturday was the Quidditch cup and Monday was the beginning of exams. Everyone was tense, even Sirius and James were obsessing over every little detail of their game. Remus rushed into the Great Hall and sat next to Ebony.

"I have ten minutes, then I have to get back to studying." He said as he grabbed a fork and ate from her plate.

"I have ten minutes until I take over Lily." Ebony sighed.

Remus grinned. "So together we have twenty minutes?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively. Ebony bit her lip and jumped up, pulling Remus up behind her. The two ran from the room and disappeared, probably to the closest broom closet. James stared after them, but then shrugged and returned to his food. He was soon joined by Kim, Frank, Sirius, Kirstin and later by Lily.

Just as most people were finishing their food, Dumbledore got to his feet and raised his arm. A silence followed immediately, for it was not often Dumbledore spoke to them at meal times and when he did, he always had something exciting or shocking to say.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you from your meals, but I won't take long. I have a few important announcements to make." He started. "First I would like to draw your attention to the seventh years. As you all know, starting on Monday, they will be sitting exams for their NEWTs. They have all been working extremely hard and I have faith that they will all go brilliantly. I know that it is extremely sad to lose these students and the next couple of weeks will be their last and we may not see them again." Kim flinched as she noticed his gaze had rested on her. "So, in celebration of their hard work, we will be holding a farewell party for the seventh years on the last day of term." Cheers and applause broke out. Sirius whistled loudly and put his arm around Kim fondly. Dumbledore raised his arm again and silence soon followed. "You will all be invited and there will also be some ex-Hogwarts students attending." He cleared his throat. "In other news, the potential Head Boys and Girls have been selected for next year. I am proud to say the following students have been selected to possibly represent the school next year. Lily Evans, Amos Diggory, Bartholomew Savagy, Remus Lupin, Elizabeth Key, Josie Duderanch, Billy Martin, Amy Schippers, Archie McDonald, Melanie Gleeson and James Potter." Lily threw her arms around James and grinned at him lovingly. James looked up at Dumbledore, who winked at him and returned to his speech. "I am certain that you are all pleased with these students and will give them your continued support. You may all return to your wonderfully delicious meals. Thank you for listening to my ramblings. Oh, and good luck to the Slytherin and Gryffindor Quidditch teams tomorrow." He looked back to James again and then turned and left the room.

Excited chatter broke out as the students began discussing the party.

"Should be fun. What do you think Kim?" Sirius said happily.

Kim was staring at the doorway that Dumbledore had disappeared through. "Yeah, great. I've got to go." She stood up and hurried across the room.

Sirius sighed and turned back to James and Lily who were talking excitedly about James's decision. He tried to look happy, but couldn't help wondering what was wrong with Kim this time.

* * *

"Professor." Kim gasped when she caught up to Dumbledore.

"Aah, Miss Grima. I was hoping to have a word with you some time soon, and now seems to be the perfect time." He said lightly. He then sighed and his eyes darkened. "It's happened again, hasn't it?"

"Yes. I saw…" Kim started.

"That doesn't matter." Dumbledore interrupted. "Can you change what you saw?"

"You know I can't."

"Can you change the outcome of this without changing what you saw?"

Kim thought for a moment. "You mean, change who…"

"I don't know what I mean." He interrupted again. "But you can stop the worst happening by changing your interpretation?"

"I guess there is a way I can do it." Kim said with a cautious nod.

"Do what?" Dumbledore asked as he cocked his head to the side and stared at her with a confused expression. Kim opened her mouth but he spoke again. "Goodnight."

Kim smiled and watched him walk away, the secretive twinkle in his eye telling her everything she needed to know.

* * *

**Please review! What is Kim hiding? What does Dumbledore know? What will happen in the next 3 chapters? How will it all end? WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS??????  
Send me a review to tell me your theories**


	41. The End is Near

**Chapter 39  
The End is Near**

The Quidditch final was a huge success for the Gryffindor's. They had won 840-20. Not long after the game, Laura the Slytherin slut had dumped her boyfriend Trent, the Slytherin captain, and was making out with Travis Barker in the Gryffindor change rooms. James and Sirius were flying around the castle with the Quidditch cup, shouting out to the cheering Gryffindor's and laughing at the moping Slytherin's. Sirius soon left James to protect Kim from some bitchy first year girls who were yelling "Betrayer!" at her for being happy about the Gryffindor victory.

He simply landed beside them, hissed, "Bugger off!" at them and watched them run away.

"Let's go for a walk. Not a long walk, I need to study, but I also need to unwind." Kim sighed.

"Lake or forest?" Sirius asked.

"Lake." Sirius knew that this meant she wanted to relax and just talk about stupid things, like which teacher would be the worst in bed and if _knick knack paddy whack, give a dog a bone _was written with the intension to be dirty or if it just developed a sexual implication.

"_This old man, he played four, he played knick knack on the door" _Sirius sang. "That's so dirty. They did it against the door."

"What does this old man came rolling home mean?" Kim asked.

"It means…that old people can still go for a roll in the sack." He laughed at the stupidity of his answer. "What do you reckon? When we get old, will you wanna roll with me?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I want to be with you until we're old and wrinkly. I want to be with you when I can't remember who you are. I want to be with you when I have second hand teeth and spend more time scaring kids with them then using them. I want to be with you forever." He was now standing in front of her holding both her hands in his.

"I want to be with you for the rest of my life, however long it is. I could never imagine spending it with anyone else." Kim said, her eyes were welling up and she was forcing her voice not to tremble.

"Then marry me. Not now, you'd have to wait for me, but when I finish school and get a job and a place to live, marry me."

Kim could not hold back the tears any longer. She threw her arms around Sirius and let her tears soak through his shirt. "I love you so much." Her muffled voice said from his chest. He closed his eyes and forced back his own tears of joy. He didn't know that Kim's tears were tears of pure sadness.

* * *

Sirius sat with James and Remus in the Gryffindor Common Room an hour after he dropped Kim off at the library. Remus was attempting to revise with James and James was purposely making Remus as nervous as hell. 

"You remember all the properties of Changstone, right?" Remus asked suddenly as he flipped through a large textbook.

"Aaaah…yes. It's a calming stone. Used to help people relax, but has bad side effects if used unappropriately." James replied.

"Inappropriately, not unappropriately, and wrong. Changstone is used in…"

"Care of magical creatures, mostly to cure Vickivolitis, but sometimes used to enhance the performance of competition creatures, like the Srocklehok." James said grinning, "And I said inappropriately."

Remus opened his mouth to argue, but decided against it and turned back to his book.

"Confident?" James asked Sirius, who hadn't written anything on his parchment.

"I know this stuff. I hate studying. Why did I promise you I would come?"

"Because you're so great." Remus answered. "Now, what's in a Rataway Potion?"

"Have you ever thought about the future?" Sirius asked his two friends.

"That's the whole point of studying, Padfoot." Remus replied.

"Why?" Asked James.

"I used to be so scared of thinking about it. I didn't know what I wanted to be or do or anything. I just wanted to think about the next prank or the next girl." Sirius sighed and leant back in his chair. "Where do you see yourself after school?"

"In the shrieking shack." Remus said sadly. "I've calculated and worked out that on the last day of our school careers, it's a full moon."

"That sucks." James said pitifully.

"I mean after school. I mean with jobs and girls and stuff."

"Just tell us what's on your mind Padfoot." James sighed.

"I want to be with Kim." Sirius said quietly. "And she wants to be with me."

"You know, only one in three teen relationships last." James commented, not knowing how to reply.

"So statistically, only one of us will stay with our girlfriends." Remus added.

"Well sorry guys, but Kim and I are staying together." Sirius said, his old confidence returning suddenly.

"Ebony and I have a good relationship." Remus snapped. "We have as much of a chance as you two."

"Lily and I haven't even had sex. Maybe we'll break up before the end of school." James muttered.

"Sex isn't everything. Yeah, sure I don't think my relationship with Ebony would be much without it, but you and Lily have such a great understanding of each other." Remus said, finally putting down his textbook.

"Kim said ages ago that you and Lily would be in love until you died." Sirius added. "That's a pretty powerful thing to say."

James smiled to himself. "Yeah, well love is a powerful thing."

"Fuck the statistics, guys." Sirius said with a grin. "We'll all have lasting relationships with our girls. What could possibly ruin our love?"

* * *

The exams were met with different reactions. Kim was quiet and frequently deep in thought, Frank was nervous and talked constantly about his techniques for relaxing, Sirius and Remus were both quite laidback and felt fully prepared, James and Lily spent every spare minute discussing methods of Arithmantic research or which breeds of fish were unable to be transfigured and Ebony had completely forgotten the exams were taking place and rushed around madly selling Wiccapot to the stressed seventh years. 

When the last exam had finished, James, Sirius, Lily and Kim took a walk outside to the birch tree by the lake and watched the giant squid scare the nearby first years. Ebony and Remus had last been seen running towards the Quidditch supply room.

"Your last exam Kim." Sirius commented as they sat down.

"Yeah. It's over, it's all over. The end is near." She lay with her head in Sirius's lap and fell asleep.

* * *

The last two weeks of term were fun ones. James decided that he would play his last pranks before becoming Head Boy and terrorised the Ravenclaw third years by bewitching a suit of armour to stick up it's middle finger and swear. It was soon removed after it told Professor Kumar to get a haircut (amongst other things). 

Sirius was glad that Kim was returning to the fun loving Kim that he loved so dearly. They spent the morning before the party on the beach in the room of requirement, talking about their future together and…reliving memories, Ris-Ris prowling contentedly in the sun and chasing seagulls with enthusiasm.

At sunset, Sirius walked Kim back to her dorm.

"I'll miss you next year."

"We'll have fun tonight." She replied lovingly. "Our last night together at school. We'll be fine next year, though."

Sirius smiled. He loved her confidence, but could see a glint in her eye that told him that she was holding something back.

"Remember to wait for me." Sirius said, changing the mood suddenly.

"If I do, promise me something."

"What?"

"Never wait for me."

Sirius didn't understand exactly what she meant by this, but smiled at her. "I won't."

"Because I will always be with you." Kim kissed Sirius. "See you tonight." She said as she slipped into the Slytherin Dungeon and out of sight.

* * *

**Please review me and tell me your theory's guys.  
What do you think is going on?**


	42. Believe

**My beta, Sarah has been experiencing random acts of savageness with her computer so she hasn't beta-ed this chapter for me. I decided to post it because its the second last chapter and is really good. Please tell me if there are any mistakes so that i can fix them up.**

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**Chapter 40  
Believe **

Sirius danced down the corridor towards the Slytherin dungeon. He felt like he was high on life, not just Wiccapot. Kim loved him and wanted to marry him and would always be with him. He had been thinking about the last things she had said to him

_"Never wait for me…I'll always be with you."_

He didn't have to wait for her because she was never going to leave him.

Although they had only been apart for a few hours, Sirius had been longing for the time when he would pick Kim up for the party. His mind flickered back to the last party they had gone to together, but he forced that memory out of his head.

_Tonight will be perfect. Nothing can ruin this._

When he saw Kim walk out of the Slytherin door, his heart stopped beating. He struggled to inhale a breath as she flashed her dazzling smile, something he hadn't seen as much as he would've liked to.

The two soon joined Lily, James, Remus and Ebony in the Great Hall. Lily and Ebony had forced themselves to forget about all the suspicions they had and were giggling happily with Kim and dancing alongside her. Sirius figured they had decided that it was her last day and she deserved some fun. This lack of suspicion ended when Lucius Malfoy walked in the door, followed by about five or six of his friends. Ebony and Lily gasped simultaneously and Kim swore to herself and rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to tell him to go. I'm really not up for his shit." Kim groaned. "Why did he have to come? Why?" She shook her head and marched towards him, leaving behind a gaping Lily and an evil glancing Ebony.

"What are you doing here?" She asked when she reached Lucius. "I told you not to come."

"I have a couple of people to talk to. I won't be long." Lucius replied quietly. "Actually you're one of the people." He pulled her towards the corner of the room so they could talk more privately. "It's happening soon."

Kim shook her head. "So?"

"I know you said you didn't ever want to be part of this and I know you're with Sirius now and you don't want to marry me, but I really need to ask you this now. Do you want to join us?" Lucius said quickly.

"No. I don't." Kim replied promptly.

"Well, if you're sure…look I have to talk to some other people about this. There are some good potential's here."

"Don't do this. Don't do it. You've caused enough damage already." Kim gasped and shut her eyes tightly. Her hand flew to her forehead and she rubbed her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Lucius asked, placing his hand on her shoulder.

Kim shrugged his hand away "I'm fine. Just go away."

Lucius stood stationary for a few moments, but turned swiftly and made his way back to his group of friends. Lily and Ebony soon took his place.

"Kim." Lily said as they approached. "We want to know what's going on. We want to know the truth, not this shit you've been telling us and Sirius."

"Like what?" Kim asked, rubbing her temples.

"Like right now, what are you doing?" Ebony replied.

"Rubbing my head. I got a sudden headache." Kim sighed.

"Oh, right." Ebony muttered. "Well what were you really talking to Lucius about?"

"I was telling him to fuck off because I know he's only here to cause trouble."

"Why'd you tell me you do Divinations?" Lily snapped.

"I didn't. You saw me reading a Divinations book and assumed I did it. I do all the subjects, by the way. I like being ahead."

"Do you also like being evil?" Ebony whispered frantically.

"I'm not evil." Kim snapped back. "Look. It will all be clear soon. You will understand. You're just blinded with suspicion right now. Please trust that I am not evil, just unfortunate."

She rubbed her eyes again and moved back towards Sirius, who had been watching Lucius and his friends acting suspiciously. He watched while he was dancing with Kim and noticed they were only talking to the most criminal Slytherins. When Lucius exited the room with his friends and a few other delinquents, Sirius told Kim that he needed to use the toilet and kissed her softly before leaving to follow them.

He followed them at a safe distance. When they reached the dungeons he could easily follow their footsteps and faint voices. The conversation he could hear was mostly about the "dark lord" needing "trustworthy followers to share in his power and glory".

They soon reached a dimly lit, dank dungeon and gathered inside. Lucius pulled something metal from his robes and walked to a bracket-held torch on the wall. He began to heat the end of the metal rod in the fire as he talked to the Slytherin's.

"Yeah it hurts for a while, but it's a small price to pay. If you weren't following him, then a lot more pain would be forced upon you."

Sirius started to panic. He had to stop these kids from making the biggest mistakes of their lives. He ran into the room. "Stop, don't do it. You don't really want to do this, something more powerful is at work."

"Yes, Black. More powerful then you understand." Lucius said calmly as his friends jumped up to defend themselves.

"Black?" One of the minions said to himself. "Like as in Narcissa? He comes from a worthy family, Lucius."

"He is not worthy. The dark lord does not want this filth. His memory is to be charmed, then take him somewhere."

"NO! I will not let you persuade these innocent people into your evil ways." Sirius cried.

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. You don't know what we're doing, you ignorant fool. We are doing the only thing we can."

"I am not leaving this dungeon." Sirius growled, determination spreading across his face.

"Then you'll suffer the consequences." Lucius said composedly. He looked around at his friends. "Show him that we have the power."

Malfoy's friends responded by kicking and hexing Sirius relentlessly. He closed his eyes and tried to make the pain go away, but all he could feel was pain. Suddenly he was hit with the Crutiatus curse and he cried out. They pain was unbearable. His skin burned, but his insides were turned ice cold. He saw a sudden flash of something he had forgotten about. He saw what he had seen in his dream, when he was on the beach with Kim. He saw Lucius Malfoy standing over him with a wand, sneering malevolently.

Then the pain stopped and Sirius opened his eyes. He looked up into the eyes of Lucius, who was standing over him with a wand, sneering malevolently. Sirius gasped for air as he realised what he had seen in this dream. He had seen the future. He had seen his life's end. He was going to die.

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Kim had been anxious since Sirius had left. She had a sinking feeling in her stomach that told her that something was going to happen. She looked up from her table and spotted Dumbledore on the high table, looking awfully grave and troubled for such a joyous occasion. 

_It's happening sooner then I thought. _Kim thought frantically _it's happening now._

She dropped her wand and ran from the room. She knew where she had to go. She knew that she had to run as fast as she could. She knew that it would all be over in a matter of minutes.

She reached the dungeons and charged down the corridor. It was then that she realised that tears we running down her face as she ran. A sob interrupted her breathing, but she forced herself to run faster. The door was in sight. She could see inside. She could see Sirius lying on the floor and Lucius standing above him. She could see Lucius opening his mouth.

She was so close now.

She could hear the words Lucius was saying.

_"Avada Ked-"_

Kim reached the door and flung herself into the room. In only a few seconds she had landed in front of Sirius, taken the full blast of the curse and was lying on the floor.

Dead.

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**OH!!!! OH MAH GAWD!!! Kim's dead! REVEIW!**


	43. Epilogue

**It has come to an end! There have been many wonderful supporters and many savages flaming me because of something as small as my summary, but I have made it to the end. There are many people i would like to thank. Firstly to my motivators/reviewers who, without which, i would've stopped a long time ago. Second, Kim, you have been so great through this and i can't wait until we release our little bundle of excitement into the world of fanfiction! Last but not least, Sarah. You have been fantastic and you have improved this story so much, I can't thank you enough. When I become a publisher, you'll edit all my books...or at least one of them!  
I'm planning on writing a sequal, but not for quite a while, next year probably. Anyway, I know you've all been waiting for this so here it is.**

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**Epilogue****  
I will never forget**

_Kim reached the door and flung herself into the room. In only a few seconds she had landed in front of Sirius, taken the full blast of the curse and was lying on the floor._

_Dead._

"Shit." One of the Slytherin's gasped.

"No." Lucius said quietly. His eyes filled with tears. "NOOOOOOO!!! No, Kim. No! How could you? Why? I loved you Kim!"

His friend stopped his screams with a silencing charm and forced him to touch a portkey that the rest of the group were grasping.

Sirius watched them disappear. He was now alone. He looked down at Kim's lifeless body and forced himself to breathe.

"I love you Kim." He whispered.

All the emotion came flooding through him and he broke out in a violent flow of tears. He wept until he had no more strength and the emotionally collapsed. He was leaning against the cold stone wall staring blankly at Kim's motionless face with nothing but fear in his head and pure sadness in his heart, when he was joined by two other beings.

Dumbledore entered the dungeon, closely followed by Ris-Ris.

"She's dead." Sirius whispered, voice cracking slightly.

"It's what I feared. She did a great thing Sirius. She had to die to stop the rise of evil."

"Why didn't I die?" Sirius sobbed. "Why did she have to go?"

"It will be explained to you all in due time, but not now." Dumbledore said softly. "You have a train to catch. Go, and be careful who you tell this to."

"You just expect me to leave her here? You want me to go on like nothing has happened?" Sirius cried.

"They will be back for the body…when they think it's safe, they will come back. You can't be here when they do. You have to leave."

"I can't leave. She left. She's gone. She's…" Sirius stopped. Ris-Ris prowled forward, an envelope tied neatly to his collar.

"Your things are already on the train." Dumbledore said gently.

Sirius removed the envelope and stood up shakily. "I'll go. She needs me to go now."

He followed Dumbledore slowly to the train. He found an empty compartment and sunk into the seat, holding the letter tightly in his hands.

James knocked on the door and entered the carriage. "Padfoot, what's wrong?"

"She left me. She's gone." Sirius wimpered.

"Oh. You want to talk about it?"

"No. Just…leave me alone for a bit, okay?" Sirius managed to say.

"Yeah, sure." James turned to leave, but paused for a moment. "You know, maybe this was meant to be. Maybe you'll understand some day that although you love someone, they can't always be with you."

Sirius ignored James. He didn't want his thoughts. He locked the door behind his friend and opened the envelope to read the letter.

_My Dearest Sirius,_

_If you are reading this letter right now, what I had feared was going to happen came to pass and I am now dead. This was meant to be. It was a thing called fate, something that I would love not to believe in, something that I would be so much happier without. Fate has influenced my life for so long and I hated it so much, but now I understand that I had a bigger part in it all and fate only caused me to prepare for it._

_I'm not making complete sense here, am I? You know I held many secrets from you and I'm grateful that you understood that I would tell you if I could, but I couldn't. This letter is to explain to you my secret and…to say goodbye._

_For as long as I can remember, I've had this power. The power to see what others cannot, what others can't know…the future. It isn't always clear and it isn't always fair. I don't even know what half the things I see mean. You can understand I suppose. That day in the room of requirement when you saw…when you had that dream…It was my dream. I don't know why you saw it. I only have theories. In my heart I believe that we are spiritually connected and at that moment our souls were one, which meant you saw what I saw. The only difference was that I knew what it meant. At least, I thought I knew what it meant._

_I thought you were going to die, well, you were going to die. Later I discovered that by your death, something…something bad would happen. Your death would trigger the beginnings of the rise of evil. Your death would cause the power of evil to subjugate the power of good. Your death would commence the death of all things good._

_Oh, Sirius. I wanted to tell you so much. Everyday I saw you I wanted to explain. I couldn't stand keeping it from you, but I had to. Yes, there are many more secrets I have kept from you and the only way I can make you understand why I kept this one from you is to tell you another one._

_Do you remember Buster Schofield? Not many people knew about us, but we were friends. Two friends who never really saw each other, but when we needed a friend we found each other. He made me laugh when I was upset and made me cry when he was upset. He was the one that really convinced me to break away from my old friends and find some more…normal people to be friends with. I trusted him so much._

_I told him. I told him about my power and explained one of the things I'd seen. I'd seen his sister, Casey, run away from home. That Christmas, Buster went missing. He'd been doing magic to mess with fate. Black magic. It messed him up. It was my fault for telling him. I found out that by telling him, I forced his brain to become obsessed with what I'd told him. In other words, he went mental. I didn't want that to happen to you. I love you too much._

_I hope you understand why I didn't tell you and I hope you understand why I had to leave. Why I have to die. A world without you would be hell, and that's not just meaning the evil that would rule it if you had died._

_Remember that night in the shrieking shack when you told me you were scared of the future? Don't be scared, be brave._

_This is goodbye. Remember my love for you and don't be afraid to love again. _

_And don't wait for me, because I'll always be with you._

_Yours forever,_

_Kim_

Sirius folded the letter and put it in his pocket. He didn't feel like he had ever felt before. He no longer felt like crying or screaming. He didn't have the vengeful urge to go after Lucius. He had a better way to get revenge for Kim's death. He vowed to himself that he would never stop fighting for what was good. He would never stop fighting for Kim.

**THE END**


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